Dolan Trump, President of the United Systems Alliance wrote:Look so Steve Banner asked me about Space Austria today, and I'm like - look, I know Space Austria, I know Space Austria better than anyone else in the galaxy, I'm going to fix the Space Austrian problem. I went to Whoreton, good school, you know, the best business school, they teach you a lot of things about business and money and leading people - if I ran as a democrap, they would think I'm the smartest, the smartest liberal in the galaxy, my grandfather was a nuclear physicist at MIT - you can look him up, he's real, he used to tell me a lot about his yuuuuge work and nuklear options, and that really got me, really made me think, to think about nuklear options. And they're bad, they're bad you know, just absolutely bad, and I think it's bad that Space Austria is using them.
*interrupted by aides' whispers*
OK, so Space Austria wasn't using nuklear weapons, but they were using bad things, bad things, the same thing really, it doesn't matter, the difference, it doesn't matter. Biological stuff, laser stuff, they were using them on other countries, and that's just not OK to the USA. You know, I won the election in this country by quite a wide margin, a landslide - the biased media, you know, they're always so biased, especially the New York Times and ZNN, they're fake news, they put out all this fake news about how I lost the election, but that's just not true, I won by a historic landslide, I won so many more electoral votes than crooked Billary. I really have the people of the USA behind me, you know, I am the President for all the minifigs in this country, I have a mandate, you can tell because of how many people came to my rallies, the size of those crowds - and I know some of the biased media and fake news tried to say that B'lack Obama had a larger crowd size at his inauguration, but that's just not true, you can check them, there was much more energy and definitely a bigger crowd at mine, you know you can really judge a leader from the size of his crowds at his rallies, that's how you can tell how much the people love him, I bet I have bigger crowds at my speeches than this Archduke Ato Hapsbrik, that gives me leverage, leverage you know, leverage when I go in to negotiate deals.
That's what I'm going to do, I'm going to talk to Ato and work out a deal - you know I wrote a book on that, The Art of the Deal, it was a New York Times bestseller, I am such an authority on dealmaking that I wrote the book on it, you can see it in many of my winning real estate deals, I'm going to sit down and talk with Ato and work out a deal that everyone's happy with, you know, I just renegotiated a yuuuuuuge trade deal with Trattoria last week, yuuuuuge, got lots of concessions out of them because I thought the deal was unfair, you know, everyone thought the deal was unfair, it was hurting Murican workers and stealing Murican jobs, with the huge trade deficit, the huge trade deficit - Trattoria has to pay for that huge deficit we have with them, but we worked out a deal, me and my secretary of state Lord Business, we worked out a deal everyone was happy with. So I'm going to do the same thing, I'm going to talk to Ato and make a deal with him, and it'll be a better deal, the best deal anyone in the galaxy has ever seen, it'll be better than any of the weak deals B'lack did, you know, because I don't do weak, I don't do weak deals. You have to have enforcement, you know, those peaches - you know, there's been a lot of noise about peaches lately, and you know, I don't really take a side on this, I think there's a lot of blame to go around on all sides, but I think peaches, a lot of these countries are violent, you know, aggressive, attacking others and even the USA, they can't be trusted, they can't be trusted - that's why I've been deporting peaches, enforcing our borders - you know, we have to have a border, a strong border, and it has to have a space wall, and Emeria has to pay for it.
But you know, we're keeping all options on the table, all options, we're not excluding any, and you know, that includes military options of course, we're locked and loaded if Space Austria tries anything funny - you know, if they keep doing this, if they keep doing the same stuff, attacking other countries with bad stuff, then they will know the power of the USA military, they'll face fire and fury and quite frankly power like the galaxy has never seen before, we're going to bomb the shit out of them if we don't like them.
Dolan Trump, MBA (Whoreton School of Business, University of Pencilvania)
President of the United Systems Alliance
