Demons at Dauerdale! (End!)

[sahasrahla]

Summary: Prince Richie, son of King Prosperous, has been granted lordship of an old, long-abandoned castle in Dauerdale. He has come to examine his new keep, but meanwhile, things in the village suddenly explode out of control...



A squadron of knights arrives in Dauerdale, a sleepy hamlet near the eastern borders of the Kingdom of Prosperia.

Knight: Open up! Prince Richie has come to examine his new castle!



The gate opens, and Lady Emela, one of the kingdom's most renown knights, steps out.
Emela: I am afraid that repairs are not yet complete, my lord. I assure you that my men are working day and night to have this castle prepared for you.



Prince Richie: I don’t care if it’s ready, I want to see the boobs! I mean castle! Uh… nice breastplate, by the way.



Princess Flibatrinaria ("Flibby") of Rodayn, a neighboring kingdom: Oh, Richie, you said you had eyes only for me!

Richie: Of course, dear, of course.

Emela: .

Meanwhile, in a nearby tavern…



Muscle Squad: Press! Press! Press! Press!



Buffgar: RRAAAAGGHHH

Muscle Squad: *goes nuts*



Barkeeper Alice: Pipe down, ya smelly hooligans! This is a respectable establishment!



Muscle Squad: We don’t have to listen to you! We’re mature, adult males and that means we never respect women or listen to what they have to say!



Alice: I’ll teach you a thing or two about respecting women, ya oversized monkeys.

Meanwhile, in a nearby swamp…



Witch: *humming* Double, double, toil and trouble…



Cauldron: *explodes*



Witch: Well bless my bodice, I seem to have torn open a portal into hell!



Fallen Angel: Hyahahahahaha!!!



FSSSSHHHHH



Fallen Angel: Forth, my minions! Our time has come! Ravage this pathetic village and bring me its leader, that I may drag him back to my burning boudoir in chains!



Watchman: Alert! Alert! Enemies approach from the swamp!



Emela: Form up, men. Looks like we have some work to do.



Robbin’ the Hood: Great, all these rich nobles running around with their purses hanging out and I have to go defend the village… Just my luck.



Prince Richie: Enemies? Lemme at ‘em!

Princess Flibby: No, my beloved! You didn’t bring your sword! Let the knights handle this, we’ll watch. Look, I brought snacks.

Prince Richie: Ooh, pizza!











Welcome to Demons at Dauerdale!
This forum battle will be a battle to the death until either the fire demons are destroyed, or all the humans are consumed in the flames of hell. There are five factions to claim, each with their own objective within the larger frame:

Hot & Spicy Fire Legion: Raze the village and capture Prince Richie. The Fallen Angel is their hero, with the Succubus cliche. Specialty: Burning Body (Any creature that touches her takes 1d4 fire damage) - Stalinsfavoritekhat
Knights of Prosperia: Fend off the fire demon army. Lady Emela is their hero, with the Armored Tank cliche. Specialty: Well Endowed (beautifully rounded breastplate hypnotizes male opponents, causing a -1 penalty to attack)
Alice & the tavern wenches: Educate the muscle squad about rapidly evolving societal gender norms. Their hero is Alice, with the Barbarian Chick cliche. Specialty: Toughness (Alice has 3 HP, while ordinary heroes have 2) Duerer
Muscle Squad: Put those uppity bitches in their place. Their hero is Buffgar, with the Muscleman cliche. Specialty: Steely Muscles (Buffgar is considered to be wearing body armor but suffers no movement penalties) - TheVengefulOne
Townspeople: Survive! Their hero is Robbin' the Hood, with the Thief cliche. Specialty: Sneaky Step (Robbin' does not provoke response actions from enemies while moving in their range) - motorhead fan

Each round will have a 72-hour orders deadline before factions are NPC'd. Really excited for this one, guys. Sign up now!!

[StalinsFavoriteKhat]

This looks really cool!

Hot & Spicy Fire Legion, if I may.

[TheVengefulOne]

Muscle Squad please!

[sahasrahla]

you guys are in, still need three more signups

[Duerer]

Alice and her wenches, pls

[sahasrahla]

sweet, u in too

2 more to go

[motorhead fan]

Would it be alright if I used the Townsfolk?

[sahasrahla]

so polite, how could i say no? u in

[sahasrahla]

ok, gonna just NPC the knights so we can move forward with the game. Now accepting orders for turn 1!!

[motorhead fan]

Hi, could you send me a pm showing me who my people are?

[sahasrahla]

Turn One!

Alice & the Tavern Wenches: (Duerer)



The Wenches and the Muscle Squad had more or less the same idea this round, but the Wenches won initiative, so they actually pulled it off. Alice drags down one of the huge, beer-laden kegs...



And heaves it at the muscle squad. Beer splashes everywhere, and all but one of the bros are disrupted.



The wenches attack, killing two squadmates.

Muscle Squad: (TheVengefulOne):



The muscle dudes recover quickly, and take out two of the wenches in retaliation. Beer and blood runs all over the floors, making everything slippery.

Hot & Spicy Fire Legion: (Stalinsfavoritekhat)



One demon decides to crawl into the well, because... well i'm not sure why, actually.



Down he goes. One hears a drawn-out, slowly fading scream of regret, and then a splash. Fire demons and water don't mix well. The demon's corpse seems to have an insalubrious effect on the well, however... an evil miasma begins to rise up from its depths.



The rest of the Legion charges forward, but can't quite get to those squishy, delicious townsfolk.



The Fallen Angel calls up more demons from the deep [Feat succesful!], three fire bolters emerge with fiery cackles.

Townsfolk: (motorhead fan)



The townsfolk decide, you know what, fuck it. They all scream "BANZAI!!!" and charge the fire legion.



They take down one legionnaire, but fail to kill a second. The archer in the blacksmith shop misses his mark.



The surviving legionnaire counters and eviscerates the blacksmith.



Robbin' the Hood decides to just chill up in the house for now. But what's this...? He finds a strange potion in the study. To drink, or not to drink...

Knights of Prosperia:



"Hurry men! Protect the townsfolk!" Lady Emela cries, and her soldiers rush forward. They can't quite reach anybody this turn.


Orders for turn 2 are due by the 15th at midnight!!

[sahasrahla]

Turn Two!



Robbin' throws caution to the wind and downs the potion in one swallow.



He then screams at the top of his lungs and leaps from the window.



But in midair, the potion suddenly activates with an explosion of green magic...!



Fortunately, Robbin' still lands safe and sound, crushing a fire demon beneath his scaly bulk. Wait... something seems off.

The archer also slays a foe, but the pikemen have less luck.



This guy smells beer and hears fun times happening in the pub, and decides to go get a drink.



The Muscle Squad goes on the offensive. Buffgar the Buff clubs the pirate wench over the head, demonstrating his excellent masculine leadership abilities.



In response, Alice crushes Turban Bro with another beer keg and the maid wench sweeps the smile off Buffgar's face, dealing 1 HP of damage (he has 1 remaining)



The duel between scimitar bro and katana girl continues inconclusively.



The demon horde presses forward, but only manages to kill one villager.



The archers advance and miss all their shots.



The Fallen Angel works her demon magic on the dazed forest witch.



Feat successful! The witch is transformed into a giant demon creature hungry for blood!



The Knights of Prosperia join the melee, accomplishing nothing with their dinky little short swords.



You guys got your orders in fast this round, thanks! Orders for turn 3 are due by the 16th at midnight!
As a reminder, the Knights are still NPC'd and available if anyone wants to join late.

[Mesostopholes]

May I take teh knights?  

[sahasrahla]

u got em bro, send in your orders

[sahasrahla]

Turn Three!

Tavern Wenches:



Alice heaves Buffgar up. He squeals like a baby.



And she hurls him across the room, where he crashes into the dueling scimitar bro and katana girl. All three are disrupted.



Katana girl and Broomhilda attack, but Buffgar's steely muscles protect him.

Muscle Squad:

NSFW WARNING: BUFFGAR'S BIG YELLOW BANANA



Enraged at being thrown around, Buffgar decides to drop trou and show these girls why they ought to respect him. The vast quantities of beer just consumed power his massive spray of urination, blowing the wenches away and marking the entire tavern as his territory with one clever trick!



Scimitar guy again fails to kill katana girl.

Townsfolk:



The angry peasant skewers a fire demon. The drunk peasant behind him doesn't manage to do much of anything.



The Robbigator eats a fire demon alive.



Archer guy misses, again.



This guy makes it to the tavern. He is surprised by what he sees.

Hot & Spicy Fire Legion:



The fire demons press the attack and kill a peasant and a knight.



The archers advance and kill another knight.



The giant witch-fire-monster-thing lumbers forward while the Fallen Angel summons more legionnaires with deadly pikes.

Knights of Prosperia:



The knights push their way to the front of the melee, protecting the peasants. They take down two fire demons.



"Stay back, kid," Lady Emela says, "Let the professionals handle this."



She then proceeds to turn this poor sap into a demon kebab.



Sorry this turn took so long to post guys, I got all your orders a while ago but I've been kinda busy. Anyway, send in orders for turn 4! Due date is Thursday at midnight.