[RK18] Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

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Re: Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Imic » Thu Jan 11, 2018 2:12 am

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Re: Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Colette » Thu Jan 11, 2018 2:24 am

Britannia

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Everyone focuses fire on the USA mecha.

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Except for the Britannian Knightmare frame, which unsheathes its size-6 Maser Vibration Sword and slams it straight into its USA counterpart.

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With one blow the USA mech falls apart.

USA eliminated

Immortal Victory
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Colette » Thu Jan 11, 2018 2:29 am

So the Immortals technically won, but I want more carnage given the above average amount of effort I put into the battlefield, so I'm letting Scratch do some cleanup rounds. He gets command over both Immortal and Britannian forces, and all troops get unlimited move (to avoid back and forth on chat). The Immortal objectives of killing civilians and finding Darren Studs remain the same.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Colette » Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:02 am

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The Terrorkhan begin patrolling the ends of the streets, gunning down all those trying to escape. One kicks down a mother as he ruthlessly guns down her baby in its carriage.
Houston Mom: No, please! NOOO!

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The Immortal tank rams into the cafe, running over a few more civilians.

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It then fires its main gun at the blue sports store, knocking a corner off.

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The speeder picks up the second OTC and goes double-clotheslining through the streets.

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The Britannian officer cuts of Janet Lawnmower Hands's hands off with his beamsaber.

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For her particular insolence, the Britannian knightmare crushes her body in its fist, bursting her brains out.

Janet Lawnmower Hands eliminated

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The other Britannian troops then continue massacring USA civilians.

Immortal civilian killcount: 34
Britannian civilian killcount: 16
Last edited by Colette on Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Colette » Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:25 am

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The Immortals continue destroying stuff.

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One Terrorkhan enters a building to flush out the civilians inside.

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The other confronts the group of children.
Kebab-Man: Please, we know there's a decent minifig still inside somewhere. You wouldn't really do this, would you?
Terrorkhan: ...

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Britannian Knightmare Pilot: Hey, we found the Octan COO!

Final Overviews:

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Re: Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Colette » Thu Jan 11, 2018 3:29 am

Several hours later

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Sigma Shard: It's good to be back...believe it or not, dying sucks cock like your mother, even for us Immortals.

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Sting: Good job, Sigma Shard. Thanks to your efforts, we have broken the stalemate on Houston and are quickly gaining control over the planet. Unlike that disappointing Accountant, your mother tongue is war. You and I can converse fluently in it.

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Sting: Come, my friend. We have much to discuss.
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Re: [RK18] Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby sahasrahla » Thu Jan 11, 2018 9:58 am

shit, who's that  :666: dude behind Sting??
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Re: [RK18] Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Natalya » Thu Jan 11, 2018 11:57 am

Janet Lawnmower Hands will return!
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Re: [RK18] Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Colette » Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:37 pm

Natalya wrote:Janet Lawnmower Hands will return!

This isn't even her first appearance.

Battle of New Orleans:
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sahasrahla wrote:shit, who's that  :666: dude behind Sting??

General Banfull, commander of the Sigma Legion. I've been using the Sigma Shard in battles so far, but Banfull will probably be playable eventually.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Scribonius » Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:26 pm

TIME FOR JUDGING... Wait... 2 entries from one person? *thinks* Meh, don't care. Judging.

FUN: 18/20...
Colette:
you crit failed the feat to chop off the barrel
and instead hit the missile battery
but it caused so much damage to the USA tank
that it can't use the main gun anyway
so you sort of succeeded
by failing so badly

^----This. Seriously. I laughed for almost five minutes when this happened. I admit, I'm more partial to minifig land-battles like this one, and this had a lot of fun stuff to watch. Janet Lawnmower Hands really needed more game-time. That late in the game, she wasn't going to accomplish much anyway. Watching Lord Wildman go splat against his own tank? Awesome, and needed to happen. This still seemed kind of one-sided, but I suspect if the Britannians hadn't rolled THAT well so early-on, it could have been more even.
VIOLENCE: Um, yes. 10/10 Could use some more building smashing, but plenty of minifig-related deaths, and again, watching Lord Wildman go SPLAT like that was just...  :tiger:
PHOTOGRAPHY: 8/10 You're very good at visuals, but there was a lot going on in a small area, so things got a little muddled. The photos were good, I just think you could have used some better shots that focused more on the individual forces. Got hard to tell what was what about 1/3 of the way through. Mind you, I think that may be more due to the smallish size of the board.
WRITING: 9/10 That said, your descriptions of the battle are usually very good, though a little more detail might be nice once in a while.
STORY: 10/10 Which brings us to this. I know this is part of the ongoing Immortal War struggles, and I don't always follow those battles as well as I maybe should, but this was an excellent blend of Immortal War savagery, alliances, strange goals, and the sheer chaos caused by a Warhead Shard taking the field. You've got a knack for taking the rules and twisting them in ways that make for great reading and even better amusement. Still laughing about the tank explosion, and Lord Wildman's impromptu flight into his own mecha. That sort of thing isn't really covered in the rules. It takes a knack for knowing how to bend and twist them to make stuff like that happen. There isn't really mention of a 'New Year,' as per se, but that isn't a dealbreaker in my book. This is a Warhead Shard taking the field on his own after one of his allies flubbed it, and doing a better job. I see that as being a new beginning of sorts, so it works for me. Kind of wish Captain 'Murica or the USA tank could have done more, but I'm still laughing about some parts, so its all good.

Edit: Oh right, Immortal War. YES.
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Re: [RK18] Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby motorhead fan » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:09 am

Fun: 19/20
Violence: 10/10
Photography: 8,52346/10
Writing: 9/10
Story: 10/10

I especially enjoyed the civilian killing part at the end.
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Re: [RK18] Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Scratch » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:18 pm

Fun: 20/20
Violence: 10/10
Photography: 8/10
Writing: 9/10
Story: 10/10

I may be biased having played as the immortals here and had most of the fun personally, but this was an amazing battle to be a part of.
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Re: [RK18] Battle in the Chat: Houston, We've Got a Problem

Postby Kaplan » Sat Jul 21, 2018 6:34 am

This battle is awesome! Great work Colette and everybody played the battle!  :tiger:
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