The Nth Legopian War had begun in earnest, as invasion forces from both sides spilled across the Nondescript Plains.
One such invasion force was centered around the Marmoset, a giant battle platform constructed by Builders League United (BLU). The first stop on its tour of destruction was the Unnecessary Wall. This wall was an artifact of the ancient, ultra-advanced Geezers, who have since mysteriously vanished. This didn't really concern either the Legopian Alliance or the Connected Bricks of Legopia at the moment, though. It was just something to smash on the way to the cities or a place to hole up in, respectively.
The Marmoset's primary ordinance is a huge artillery cannon. Both of the Marmoset's side platforms hold a Cruise Missile capable of dealing similar damage, and a gun turret. The machine's only real weakness are the two Ragnite radiators beside the Cruise Missiles, since there was no way it was blowing up otherwise. To the right of the Marmoset are three heavy infantry, and to the left is the light battlemech Loki.
The Marmoset has a crew of seven, with the artillery cannon manned by the head of BLU himself, known only as The Engineer (or "Engie" to his friends). The Marmoset's rear entrance is protected by a Level 2 Flamethrower Sentry.
Connected Bricks of Legopia
The newly-renamed Connected Bricks of Legopia has garrisoned a motley band of fighters at the Wall. In the courtyard, the tank Edelweiss and three Pogo Stick Knights face down the Marmoset. Atop the wall are three archers, led by the sideways-crossbow-wielding Gangsteth. To the left of the wall is a BLU Scout and Captain Style. The Wall's right battlement houses an Anti-Tank Lancer (Not pictured) and the Warrior Monk F'thog. Below the right battlement, the machine gunner Jameson waits in ambush, while a Reliable Excavation Demolition (RED) Soldier waits outside of ambush. The mounted "knight" Stu waits behind the gates, while a BLU Sniper peers through an arrow slit.
Turn 1: Connected Bricks of Legopia
The BLU Sniper picks off one of the Marmoset's Cruise Missile crew.
Jameson steps out from behind cover, and the RED Soldier joins in the attack. The resulting exchange of fire ends in a stunned Jameson and damaged Loki.
The Edelweiss and Pogo Stick Knights move out of the Marmoset's way to the left flank. Captain Style is angry that the Edelweiss has blocked the enemy's view of his awesomeness.
Turn 2: Legopian Alliance
The Marmoset fires its artillery at the Edelweiss and surrounding infantry, scoring a direct hit! The Edelweiss is completely unharmed, and one Pogo Stick Knight survives the attack. The remaining Pogo Stick Knights, Captain Style, and the BLU Scout are all killed.
The Marmoset advances. The Pogo Stick Knight barely avoids being squished.
The left gunner swings his turret around in hopes of clubbing F'thog...
F'thog takes the opportunity to leap aboard the Marmoset!
The right gunner has more luck, killing Stu as he charges around the Wall.
The first Cruise Missile is launched at the RED Soldier!
The Soldier's Adamantine Helmet absorbs the blow. The filthy pink-skin Jameson is disintegrated. The explosion also flushes a Ninja out of hiding!
The Heavy Infantry, seeing nothing to kill, withdraw to the Marmoset. Loki advances.
Turn 3: Connected Bricks of Legopia
Before being squished, Neenja leaps aboard the Marmoset and bisects the left gunner.
The Pogo Stick Knight does likewise, though the right gunner survives the attack. F'thog gets up and attacks the remaining Cruise Missile Crewman, though the Crewman survives.
Loki incinerates the RED Soldier.
Turn 4: Legopian Alliance
The Marmoset fires an artillery shell at the top of the Wall, killing the two generic archers. Gangsteth sees the shot coming and jumps onto the front of the Marmoset before the shot lands.
The Marmoset collides with the wall, grinding to a halt! All of the silly Minifigs too busy killing eachother to wear seatbelts are sent flying. Many are killed (no-one of consequence, though, and not a single CBL unit)
Turn 5: Connected Bricks of Legopia
The Edelweiss trundles behind the now-stopped Marmoset and scores a direct hit on the dazed Engineer!
The Edelweiss activates its hydraulics in celebration.
...But wait! That Engineer was a Spy! The real Engineer wasn't aboard the Marmoset at all!
The Pogo Stick Knight bounches back aboard, killing a Heavy Infantry who had clambered up on the right platform.
Loki grabs the late Jameson's weapon and guns down the Anti-Tank Lancer.
The Marmoset's pilot makes a desperate run to fire the last Cruise Missile.
The Pogo Stick Knight beats him to it, launching the Cruise Missile at Loki! It's destroyed!
The pilot, the last surviving Alliance unit, disgraces his side by surrendering.
The Nth Legopian War
Battle 1: Battle of the Non-Descript Plains
Battle 2: Battle of the Unnecessary Wall
Battle 3: Outbreak at Ribannald
Filler 1: Capture the Princess
Filler 2: Battle for Ascention
Filler 3: Legopia versus the Saturnalia Spirit
-Soo, the Marmoset couldn't smash through the wall. What a miscalculation that was. It probably would've been better just to squish that Pogo Stick Knight and the Edelweiss.
-RED and BLU are private military contractors and arch-rivals, so it makes sense that BLU wouldn't send their leader on such a generic mission. After the fiasco at the Unnecessary Wall, with BLU and RED troops working together against BLU troops, they both reserve the right to kill the other contractor's members on sight and will only work for one side per-operation (the highest-paying one, naturally).
-A Marmoset is a type of monkey. In this case, it's also a Valkyria Chronicles reference.
-F'thog stands for Flip-The-Hell-Out-Guy.
-After defending itself on the first turn, Loki ended up attacking with response actions every time. Pitted against so many anti-tank units, it couldn't really afford to lose an attack.
-Loki carries two rockets and a size-2 flamethrower, so it can't carry a handheld weapon until it clears up space by deploying its rocket salvo. Generally, it will get this weapon by looting a corpse. The whole thing worked surprisingly well, and it was a fun unit. Perhaps I'll mass-produce some more "vulture" armored units.
-You've probably noticed that my creations' colour schemes are basically non-existant. This is because I'm not a patient person with Lego, and it's monotonous enough to find the right pieces in our big box without worrying about colour. My newer units generally are built with some eye for colour, though.
-We've been experimenting with "who goes first" rules instead of leaving it to a dice-roll. The rule for this battle was "The side with the single most expensive unit goes last". This was because it's much easier for monster units to steamroll an enemy army before they can really do anything, and the "weaker" side should get a chance to react. A new rule inspired by this round is "Whoever deploys first, goes first". This is to counteract the imbalance in being able to pick which units fight which. For example, in this battle, I deployed first. During the battle, my heavy infantry were matched with a tank, and Loki was going up against the enemy's entire anti-tank contingent. By the dice things ended up going pretty smoothly for both of those two groups, though.
-The name for Legopia's ancient civilization was a toss-up between Geezers and Ancient Ancients.
-(VALKYRIA CHRONICLES SPOILERS) The Edelweiss was, in fact, piloted by a zombified Isara Gunther.