Silent-sigfig wrote:I want stalin to pull something out of the barrel, and throw it at the horse.
Oh, and use an IRON KURTAIN to kill the catapult guy.
Stalin reaches into the barrel and pulls out the IRON KURTAIN ROD.
He chucks it out the horse, with great rolls for range and damage. The horse's head explodes.
Warhead wrote:IVascus throws the apple and the fish at the Vladtrooper that's still alive. In an attempt at intimidation IVascus shouts at the Vladtrooper that he is about to get banana buggered and charges at him holding the banana in a suggestive manner. If the Vladtroop hasn't run off, shoot him with the banana (shout things like Kapow! Bang! Bang! and stuff) and when he's looking totally bewildered and confused IVascus chops his head off with the sword.
Meanwhile, IVascus runs up and chucks the apple and fish at the Vladtrooper. Which is to say, he drops them on the ground, crit-failing both the rolls for range. He tries to say something about banana sodomy, but the guard is already completely unimpressed.
The roof trooper decides the catapult is too inaccurate for antipersonnel attacks, and decides to pick up one of the magic firebombs himself to throw at Stalin. Sure it'll burn him if he picks it up, but 1d6 fire damage is a small price to pay for a more accurate attack.
But bonus dice turn 1d6 into 14 points of damage! The trooper explodes!
He drops the firebomb, but its explosion roll is weak, damaging no one.
The ground trooper is disgruntled about the death of his horse and charges Stalin. He hits, doing 9 damage; Stalin forgets he has a skill of 1d8 and fails to block with his shield. It's all right though; he rolls 13 for armor and survives.
END OF TURN SUMMARY, SILENT-SIGFIG AND WARHEAD:
One Vladtroop down, one to go; it might be time to start using real weapons. Ready for Turn 2 orders!