True Manliness aka I LIKE TO TALK IN CAPS

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True Manliness aka I LIKE TO TALK IN CAPS

Postby Butthurt » Mon Aug 17, 2009 1:17 pm

Exhibit A: Rayhawk's Testament to Manliness

Butthurt: today Rayhawk wrote his first knitting pattern.  true story.
IVhorsemanIV: nooooooooooo
Butthurt: YESSSSSSS. well it was a pretty manly one. it was an @ :D
IVhorsemanIV: tell him i am ashamed and that he should run five miles
Butthurt: he just bust up laughing hahaha
IVhorsemanIV: IS HE RUNNING? he has to run five miles. one piltogg
Butthurt: loooool well i mean it was for a good cause.  i needed to practice double knitting SO I COULD MAKE THIS: http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/longcat-scarf BOOOOOOOOOOOOYAH DOUBLE SIDED LONG cult SCARF FUCKING AWESOME
IVhorsemanIV: ok that's legitimately cool
Butthurt: ISN'T IT? <3 i just need to find a way to make him buy me 10 tons of yarn
IVhorsemanIV: tell him they're legos
Butthurt: oh good plan
IVhorsemanIV: made of beer
Butthurt: nice!

Exhibit B: IVhorsemanIV's Testament to Manliness

IVhorsemanIV:  actually, speaking of *NSync.  One of the many useless skills under my belt is knowing the dance routine to the bye bye bye music video. I'm not entirely sure why
Butthurt:  ahhahahahhahha THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME. I DEMAND A VIDEO.
IVhorsemanIV:  UH PASS
Butthurt: rayhawk: run five miles
IVhorsemanIV:  WHY DID YOU TELL HIM
Butthurt:  OKAY OKAY i promise if you make a video and show me i wont show him PINKY PROMISE
IVhorsemanIV:  what no he'll find out. he'll be all "why are you laughing"
Butthurt:  NO HE WON'T and i won't be laughing, i'll be furiously masturbating. i promise :D
IVhorsemanIV:  and you'll be all "fukken IVhorseman's dancing to *NSync"
Butthurt:  AHAH
IVhorsemanIV:  and he'll be all "let me see" and you'll be all "no!"
Butthurt:  no he won't he'll be like "it'll make me dapper"
IVhorsemanIV:  and then he'll break your fucking head open and watch it anyways
Butthurt:  rayhawk: I'll high five him at the finish line, where I'll be after running off my knitting pattern. no intriguing though
IVhorsemanIV:  I don't even have a video camera
Butthurt: WELL YOU SHOULD GET ONE because ALL I WANT FOR Saturnalia IS A VIDEO OF IVHORSEMAN DOING THE BYE BYE BYE DANCE
IVhorsemanIV:  ok, i laughed pretty hard at that. WELL THAT FUCKING SUCKS, HUH
Butthurt:  :'(
Butthurt:  you know what'd be rad?
IVhorsemanIV:  no
Butthurt:  IF YOU ACTUALLY HAD A VIDEO CAM AND YOU WERE RECORDING IT RIGHT NOW ASDF *NOSEBLEED*
IVhorsemanIV:  hahahahahaha you found my secret. actually no i lied i'm not recording it. now or ever
Butthurt:  i am so sad.  i think if he even saw the video he'd feel somewhat impressed and somewhat ashamed. that's not too bad!
IVhorsemanIV:  i think that if i even made the video i'd have to murder myself with a garden hose. that's pretty bad!
Butthurt:  i don't think that's enough. i'm thinking seppuku, but it'd TOTALLY be worth it. you could be the next star wars kid or something or the wow account cancellation kid EPIC
IVhorsemanIV:  but i wouldn't even be naked
Butthurt:  YOU COULD BE! OH SHIT! BYE BYE BYE *flop flop flop* hahahahaha SO GOOD
IVhorsemanIV:  NO BUTTHURT NO
Butthurt:  AHHAAHAHHA YESSSSSSSSSSSS
IVhorsemanIV:  great, now my stalker is imagining me bouncing around naked
Butthurt:  HAHAHA
IVhorsemanIV:  you might as well just break into my house and snuggle me at this point I'm even home alone until wednesday!
Butthurt:  OSHIT SURPRISE SEX TIME BRT

so manly, so good.  :D I think IVhorsemanIV beat Rayhawk.
Last edited by Butthurt on Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Arkbrik wrote:My personal opinion is that both Xbox and PS suck, and you should get a life or download Nethack.

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Postby Warhead » Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:18 pm

Ok, first of all, wow, very weird. Second, I LOL'd, thirdly, what just happened here?

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Please if you will consider Nsync the guy with the guitar, guess who I would be?..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9JYq-mXprw
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Postby stubby » Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:07 pm

The following conversation took place in a Costco parking lot.

Butthurt's Testament to Manliness
butthurt: I took one of those Facebook quizzes and it says I'm only 14% manly. That's ridiculous!

rayhawk: Yeah, no kidding!  You're nowhere near that manly.  You're the least manly person I know.

butthurt: What?? I'm totally manly!

rayhawk: ORLY? What was the last manly thing you did?

butthurt: Well!

rayhawk: ...

butthurt: ...!

rayhawk: ...!!

butthurt: I looked up some really manly knitting patterns on the internet!

rayhawk: ...!!!

butthurt: One of them even said MANLY right on it!
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Postby Butthurt » Mon Aug 17, 2009 4:09 pm

...well it did say manly in it.  Also, you have yet to run your five miles.  You can't make fun of me until you do :(

And that picture is full of win!
Arkbrik wrote:My personal opinion is that both Xbox and PS suck, and you should get a life or download Nethack.

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Postby Butthurt » Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:02 pm

Fine, I admit my definition of manliness might be a little...on the wimpy side.  (eating beef jerky while knitting, eating beef jerky while painting my nails, eating beef jerky period)

BUT! it's still better than yours, mr. i like to lick toilet bowls.  This isn't even manly, it's just Absolutely Disgusting.

Rayhawk's sekret "manly" hobbies:
Butthurt:  Dude.  I know you like doing really sick and disgusting things.  I know.  But I want you to swear to me.  SWEAR.  That you will never lick the fucking toilet bowl.  EVER.  I don't care how funny you think it will be, don't do it!
Rayhawk: *can't even talk he's laughing so hard*
Butthurt: I'm for cereal.  It's NOT good joke material.  It's vile and it's disgusting.  Promise me!!  I never make you promise anything!  This is how important this is!
Rayhawk: I can't make that promise.
Butthurt: WHAT?
Rayhawk: I can't make that promise!
Butthurt: ....what the.. come on. it's disgusting.  WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE YOU NOT LICK THE DAMN TOILET BOWL?  I don't think I'm asking for much here.
Rayhawk: *makes disgusting licking toilet bowl faces*
Butthurt: DO YOU KNOW WHAT GOES IN THE TOILET?
Rayhawk: *continues*
Butthurt: TURD.  TURD GOES IN THERE.
Rayhawk: *continues undeterred, in fact this seems to only spur him on*
Butthurt: *gives up in defeat for now*

later that day:
Rayhawk: Oh look, a Klondike bar!  What would you doooo for a Klondike bar?
Butthurt:  Would you stop licking the toilet bowl for one?  I'll buy you some right now.
Rayhawk: I don't know if I'd go that far for a Klondike bar.

even later that day:
Rayhawk: You know, in Japan there's a restaurant where you eat out of toilet bowls.
Butthurt: ...
Rayhawk: They even make the food look like shit, like chili and curry.
Butthurt: ...are they...clean?  :|

even more laterer that day:
Butthurt:  No, but for serious.  Go ahead and do nasty crap like dutch ovening someone.  That's an acceptable level of grossness.  Licking the toilet bowl is so vile that it'll transform you into a sewer rat.  It breaks all laws of humanity.
Rayhawk: You're infringing on my rights.
Butthurt: .......................................your RIGHTS?
Rayhawk: Yes.  My right to lick the toilet bowl.
Butthurt: ugh!

Just now:
Butthurt: if manliness is licking a toilet bowl i choose to not be manly.
Rayhawk: this is why you fail
Arkbrik wrote:My personal opinion is that both Xbox and PS suck, and you should get a life or download Nethack.

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Postby stubby » Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:25 pm

Aw, you're forgetting some of my favorite lines.

rayhawk: I can't make that promise.

butthurt: what?

rayhawk: what if someone bet me that I wouldn't lick a toilet bowl?  I would lose the bet.

butthurt: okay fine, but it better be for at least a thousand dollars.

rayhawk: oh no, I wouldn't do it for a thousand dollars, then people would think I'm just the kind of guy who'll sell out any of his principles for enough cash.

butthurt: but!

rayhawk: It would have to be somewhere in the five- to ten-dollar range, otherwise I'm sending the wrong message.

butthurt: WHAT


Now keep in mind that this debate went on non-stop for the entire weekend.  Finally, on Sunday night:

butthurt: well maybe you can just kiss my butt then.

rayhawk: That's gross, I don't know if I'd be willing to do that.

butthurt: WHAT!  You would lick a toilet bowl but not my butt?

rayhawk: I never said I would lick a toilet bowl!  That's disgusting!

butthurt: BUT!  BUT! YOU!  ...  !@#$%@%^

rayhawk: I'm not going to let you tell me what I can do with MY tongue and MY toilet, but you think I would actually lick a toilet bowl?  What is wrong with you?  Why would you say something like that about me?

butthurt: [incoherent sounds while her brain goes to bluescreen of death]


I cannot even begin to describe how satisfied I was with the conclusion of this debate.
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Postby Tzan » Mon Aug 17, 2009 6:30 pm

:D
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Postby ltobvious » Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:32 pm

Nice.
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Postby MasterEcabob » Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:09 pm

ltobvious wrote:MANLY


fix'd
jifel wrote:"Any fool can make something bigger and more dangerous, but it takes an intelligent man to do the opposite."

As if we care. More explosives!
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Postby ltobvious » Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:47 pm

Much better.
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Postby piltogg » Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:55 pm

very wierd.  0.05 piltoggs for that whole day of whatever the heck it is.
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Postby Natalya » Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:40 am

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"Each night alone I dream, that I'm a rebel Roller Queen‼
I'll be a star that shines, I can make the whole world mine‼"


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Postby Warhead » Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:41 am

Wow, it's like running some sort of twisted domestic forum in real life ...but then by posting it online you make it even more full of awesome. Wow!
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Postby Nitewatchman » Tue Aug 18, 2009 12:51 am

Mr. Rayhawk, threads like this with posts like that are why you win.
Silverdream wrote:MOST UNLIKED BY SILVERDREAM
Nominees
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-Blitzen
-muffinman42
-Vami IV

WINNER: Nitewatchman
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Postby Warhead » Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:05 am

Ok, not that I really want to see this happen but I have this here PayPal account and I will gladly pay the sum of $10 to see a non-photoshopped pic of Stubby licking the toilet pan. No disrespect to Stubby you understand, I just can't/won't turn away from a manly challenge... it's borderline psychotic I know, but, well you know how it is. Sorry.
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