- WARHEAD (deceased) AND ARKBRIK: VICTORY
Warhead attempted the fishslap maneuver and took an axe in the face for his trouble; meanwhile Arkbrik converted an enemy to his side through the power of communist oratory. The remaining Vladdie, enraged, blew up himself and his catapult.
- ASSETS LOST: Sir IVascus (Warhead), Catapult
ASSETS GAINED: Wagon, Ex-Vlad Comrade
Piltogg discovers a monkey, then destroys the wagon and drops a chunk of it on the Vladdie who kills him. Almighty Benny fishslaps a horse, and then tramples and aerial sword-drops the trapped and helpless victim. Piltogg the Monkey throws poo into a Vladdie's face, causing him to shoot himself with his own catapult.
- ASSETS LOST: Sir Stalin (Piltogg), wagon, catapult
ASSETS GAINED: Monkey
EPILOGUE: Piltogg the Monkey steals the wizard's hat and magic wand before Almighty Benny can get them, and uses them to turn Sir Stalin's corpse into a horrible Frankenstein monster of burnt wizard parts, spare monkey brains, and transfused Vladtroop blood. Almighty Benny cruelly forces the Vladtron horse to continue dragging the wagon despite its busted-ass state, while his own horse stands around laughing.
Leprechaun plants a barrel on the rooftop troop's head, disorienting him so he falls into his horse's butt and drops his axe. Ltobvious is distracted and gets his lunch jacked by the Vladtron horse, and then dropkicks the barrelhead troop into submission. Leprechaun rips out one of the catapult railings and throws it into a tree, which falls over and pins the remaining Vladtron.
- ASSETS LOST: None!
ASSETS GAINED: Two helpless Vladtron prisoners
EPILOGUE: When Dogdu and Rayho show up, they agree that the best use of the pinned Vladtroop is for Stalin to elbow-drop him into oblivion. He does, and it's so awesome that if I posted a photo of it you would say "Damn! That's awesome!" After seeing his buddy splattered like a meat-filled water balloon, Dogdu is able to intimidate the remaining Vladtron into getting them through Vladtron's security checkpoints on the way to Vladtron's Dark Fortress.
IVhorseman goes banana surfing before flipping out and decapitating the Vladdie on the roof. The dead Vladdie goes into the catapult; the banana peel lands under the Vladdie on the ground. MasterEcabob fails to throw a boulder at the ground troop, who then slips on the banana peel before being smashed by his dead buddy, launched out of the catapult. MasterEcabob then takes great joy in using his boulder to smash the helpless victim into a fine pudding.
- ASSETS LOST: None!
ASSETS GAINED: Wagon
EPILOGUE: IVascus is TOTALLY PUMPED by their victory, and opens up the back of the cart to scream at the dead wizard inside. "AAAAAAAA"
Silent-Sigfig kills the Vladtron horse with the Iron Kurtain Rod, then pulls a Crazy Ivan to annihilate the ground troop with the Communist Manifesto. The trooper on the roof manages to burn himself up, so there's nothing left for Warhead to do but throw his banana at some blood and declare victory.
- ASSETS LOST: Vladtron horse
ASSETS GAINED: Wagon
EPILOGUE: IVascus hooks up his horse to the wagon and it's good as new. Hopefully no one notices it's the wrong color.
Moronstudios attempts the fishslap maneuver that killed his predecessor Warhead, and meets the same fate. booty bothered delivers a keg to an unexpectedly appreciative vladtroop; then she flips out and kills everyone. One of the corpses lands axe-first in Moronstudios' crotch.
- ASSETS LOST: Sir IVascus (Moronstudios)
ASSETS GAINED: Wagon
EPILOGUE: IVascus's horse scores with the Vladtron horse.