[HH] The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72

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[HH] The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72

Postby ikensall » Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:20 pm

The Brief:

So, it's that time of year again when we all start spewing out battle reports, and I didn't want to be left out. This battle didn't get finished, and as a result some things don't make much sense or just don't end up happening, but you'll get the gist soon enough - figs kill at each other, stuff gets destroyed.

So, here's the story; The North India Company and it's ally the Kingdom (Yellow) have a small trading post on a far away land. The North India Company's forces and executives (including some hired mercenaries hanging around with a field gun, and some standard guards and staff) are holding the large building, whilst the Kingdom's small garrison holds some adjacent fortified, raised ground. Their prized possession is a Citadel class heavy tank (the big yellow thing).

Attacking are the Commonwealth forces, they appear on the road next to the NIC's building, with a few troopers, medic (white firemans hat), officer and a Sentinel tank (grey thing). Their objective is to kill or capture the NIC executive on the top level of the Company station, and raise their flag atop the building (it is assumed that all of the Commonwealth's minifigs have a flag on their person).

Attacking from the other side of the map are the forces of the Eastern Empire, they have a Giant class light tank, a fighter plane, a few grunts and some more assorted forces. Their shamurai leader has an honourable score to settle with the NIC executive, and intends to challenge him to a duel (he is adamant he was overcharged for overseas shipping on his Madoka box-set). The Imperials and the Commonwealth are not allied.

The Assault on Trading post 72

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The Imperial forces move up, and their counterparts from the kingdom take up positions to react, the Citadel starts up her engine in the distance.

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An Imperial fighter craft lines up for a strafing run.

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Meanwhile, on the other side of the battlefield...
NIC employee: I needn't remind you sir that this is also a pay and display area, and yet I can't see a clearly displayed parking slip anywhere on your vehicle.
Commonwealth officer: You mean the tank?
NIC employee: Yes, and seeing as you have not only failed to pay or to display but have also parked your vehicle irresponsibly, ignoring the demarcated areas, I'm required to ask for your name, date of birth, address and telephone number.
Commonwealth officer: Are you trying to tell me my drivers park like grandmas!? After him lads!
THE BATTLE FOR TRADING POST 72 BEGINS!

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NIC employee: Aiiieeeee!

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The mercenaries hang around trying to get away without worrying about the armed charge for as long as possible. Their leader (climbing the stairs) makes sure to get far away from any trouble, dead men don't get to claim combat bonuses, after all.

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The mercenary sniper makes his way up to the water tower, note behind him the flag the Commonwealth forces are trying to replace. (Not to be confused with the windsock or the lamp.)

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The NIC's local chief mechanic and the on-site executive make their way to the air dock stairs.
Chief mechanic: Don't worry sir, I'm sure it won't take logistics long to get a craft here to pick us up.

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Two mechanical interns aren't really sure what to do.
Intern 1: Should we try and get that massive gun emplacement working?
Intern 2: Nah, didn't you read your job description form? Make cups of tea and look after the chief mechanic's big wrench.
Intern 1: Big wench? What big wench, nobody told me we had a big wench on site!
Intern 2: Shut up.
Intern 1:... YOUR MOM!

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One of the commonwealth soldiers takes out the Citadel's commander, first blood!

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The medic shoots a mercenary gunner.

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The parking lawyer gets a helping of halberd to the neck, the officer moves up and a grunt hops onto the wall (and then misses his shot) as the heavy admires his handywork.

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The tank moves up, narrowly missing one friendly soldier and disrupting another as it hugs the side of the main building.

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Taking note of the Citadel's dead commander, the Sentinel's TC drops back inside his tank, before putting a round into the side of the Citadel, -1 Size.

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Imperial forces line up against a wall of the compound, whilst the shamurai, scout and heavy pile up on the back of the tank. A ninja pops up and buries his katana in a soldier's back.

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The tank and it's riders drive through the middle of the fort, they pretend not to notice that they are surrounded by enemy soldiers, because that stuff will make for a much more heroic post-battle Haiku.

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The shamurai tries a heroic feat to leap from the tank to the enemy soldier on the bank, but slips and falls on his backside.

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All the troopers fire at the two guys hiding around the white building. Nobody hits anything, a very dishonourable turn so far for the empire!

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The scout tries to finish what their honourable leader started, she misses.

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*NNHhhheeaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww* (doppler effect)
*dakkadakkakakakdakakadakakdkak* (machine gun)
The fighter plane opens up with it's gun, but misses the same grunt that's been causing all the problems. The stray fire sparks off the roof of the tank, the scout makes a hasty exit, down into the newly forming mosh-pit with her commander. Still pretty dishonourable   :cry:  .

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A mercenary decides it's time to take the big gun and get out, he backs up the tractor and hitches it up, knocking down the officer taking cover behind a wheel.

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These two pick up where the imperials left off, more missing!

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Guys, this isn't funny any more, can you hit something please?

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Well, we'll see about that.

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BAM!
The medic drops to the tarmac, amidst cries of "Sniper on the rewf!"

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An NIC trooper decides that he too can be a 1337 5N1P3r, if only he could get a shot at those commonwealth scum below, lets just lean a little bit further,
"AH SHI-"

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*BUMPH*
Commonwealth soldiers:  :wtc:

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Chief mechanic: Don't worry sir, they won't be long now.
*BANG*
Executive: I think I've heard you say that before -_-
Chief mechanic: They're normally very prompt when we're waiting for pizza deliveries.
"Ah SHI-"
*BUMPH*
"What the-"
Executive: What was that?
Mechanic: Nothing, sir.

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A company guard reminds an attacker of the value of cover/

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The gate guard opens up with his assault rifle, taking out an the first of the imperial assault.

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As soon as he pops out, the tank fires off a response round.

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Very honourable, at long last!

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This guy obviously wasn't paying attention earlier...

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He gets his comeuppance, thankfully the scout hasn't been sticking to her diet plan, so it's a padded landing

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The Kingdom commander knows better, he hops down like a young man of barely 24, and unloads on the shamurai at point-blanc, who is somehow unharmed.  :wtf:
Shamurai: Ahaa! You'll need more than that pistol to kill a man with as much honour as me!

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On the other side of the imperial advance, the grey ninja and another grunt get taken out.

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*BOOM*
*Twaaang*
The Citadel gets its act together and unloads on the Sentinel, the shell gets deflected by the main gun, crippling the Commonwealth forces' most powerful weapon.

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Meanwhile, lurking in the shadows.

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How long has he been waiting there, hours... days?

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The ninja leaps into action, hopping through the air without a sound. As he flies through the air, seconds feel like minutes, plenty of time to choose a suitably creepy voice for the job.

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Silence.
Surprise motherfucker!

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"Waaaaah!"

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*Klang*
Ninja: Man, trust the snipers to tunnel vision, every time.
Commonwealth soldier: Aurgh! Another one? Game over man, game over, get me outta here!

More to come soon, C&C welcome.
Last edited by ikensall on Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72 - Incomp

Postby Szerszen » Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:41 pm

As we talked on chat...

Black ninja is class for himself.
Very nice report.
One brick to connect them all...
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Re: The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72 - Incomp

Postby Bluefog » Thu Oct 30, 2014 11:07 pm

This is excellent, great quality photos, carnage and hilariousness.
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Re: The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72 - Incomp

Postby motorhead fan » Fri Oct 31, 2014 7:35 am

I am really enjoying this.
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Re: The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72 - Incomp

Postby ikensall » Sat Nov 01, 2014 4:32 am

Like I said at the top, this battle didn't get finished, but here's what I have left:

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The Commonwealth officer hops into the driver's seat, grand theft tractor is underway!
Mercenary: Oi, this tractor's mine, get back here!

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The officer tries to run down those two mercenaries in the middle of the road.
Officer: Ah blow, oversteer!!
The first-aid tent gets tractor'd instead.

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*Stab*

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This trooper decided to fire off a grenade from a launcher he found behind the shack. Needless to say, it didn't go well.

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These two are fed up of minifig-rain, and start scaling the wall to their objective on the roof - the flag. Despite the wealth of targets, the one who fires can't hit anything.

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The Sentinel backs up and fires it's machine gun at the group of figs.
TC (booty bothered): You think I can't hurt you now my big barrel's all bent? YOU WERE WRONG!
*Dakakadakakakdkakdak*

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The two mechanik interns get dismissed.
Driver: Sir, couldn't we have got them to fix the gun?
TC: Stop being reasonable!

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The shamurai leaps up again, throws off his assailant and runs him through, but he's not done yet.

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He drops the bad guy, keeps going, lines up the target...

... and throws the katana!

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*Urgh!*
This mercenary gets it in the guts.

After this point there is no further documentation of the Battle for Trading Post 72, it can only be assumed that the photographer was caught by a stray bullet, ran away, or was kidnapped by marauding aliens (but that's a different story).

That's it guys, I'm sorry that it's not finished, but I went as far as time allowed. I'm adding this to the [HH] pool, now that I've got all of it up.
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Re: The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72 [HH]

Postby Zupponn » Sat Nov 01, 2014 8:57 am

Sweet battle ike!
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Re: [HH] The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72

Postby piltogg » Mon Nov 03, 2014 5:26 pm

I'm really liking your two factions. It reminds me a lot of various NELUG battles that have occurred across the ages.
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Re: [HH] The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72

Postby Zahru II » Mon Nov 10, 2014 7:24 am

Gameplay - 4
Photography - 5
Violence - 5
Writing - 5
Overall Appeal - 5

If this was a complete report, it would be neck-to-neck with the violence finale. As is, it's still a strong contender due to being well-build, well-presented and overall oozing with style and character.
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Re: [HH] The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72

Postby Scratch » Tue Nov 11, 2014 5:28 pm

Gameplay - 4
Photography - 5
Violence - 4
Writing - 5
Overall Appeal - 5

Man, everything from the set to the vehicles was amazingly well done.
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Re: [HH] The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72

Postby ikensall » Wed Nov 12, 2014 2:47 am

Thanks for the feedback so far, it's nice to know where the scores are coming from.
piltogg wrote:I'm really liking your two factions. It reminds me a lot of various NELUG battles that have occurred across the ages.

This is just what I was hoping. I dunno why but battles like those, and some of the very early ones from here on the forums (try The Death War) have something different about them.
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Re: [HH] The Battle (in the Car-Park) of Trading Post 72

Postby Silverdream » Sat Nov 15, 2014 4:38 pm

Gameplay: 3
Photography: 5
Violence: 4
Writing: 5
Overall Appeal: 5

This was awesome, even though it wasn't finished. I have to say that all those vehicles look really good.
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