Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

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Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 4:17 pm

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The Britannians are going along minding their own business on some planet in the Indigo Colonies.

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One of the soldiers is transporting a laptop with Immortal intelligence. The actual contents are classified or some shit like that, but probably important.

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USA Soldiers: In the name of the Anti-Immortal Alliance, we must seize that hard drive to help our war effort.

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Space Mafia Rei Cosplayer: We must seize that hard drive so we can sell it for the highest bidder and make money.

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Bavarians: The Third Alliance is probably involved with the Immortal War somehow.

Overwatch:
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Factions:
USA (The Shadowscythe) (Anti-Immortal)
Britannian League (Ham701) (Pro-Immortal)
Space Mafia (Scratch) (Third Alliance)
Bavaria (Colette) (Third Alliance)
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 4:26 pm

USA
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The USA forces begin to move behind the Bavarians and hold their fire to respond to any attacks.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 4:40 pm

Britannia:
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The troops move up and fire on the Bavarians. One guy crit-fails, and the giant size-6 steam-gatling misses the hovercar.

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Two Bavarian troops bite the dust. First blood!
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 5:00 pm

Space Mafia:
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The Space Mafia forces thunder towards the Britannians, guns and missiles blazing.

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The combined fire on the Knightmare's leg is too much, bringing the mech down. The residual explosion from the missile also takes out three Britannian troops.

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Rei cosplayer attempts a heroic ghost girl feat to have a ghost clone appear behind the Britannian hero and scare him, disrupting him for one turn.

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It's a crit success and the Brit hero is disrupted for a turn (just pretend the ghost is a creepy, floating naked Rei that turns you to orange Tang I guess).
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 5:10 pm

Bavarians:
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The remaining Bavarians throw their fallen comrades overboard and regroup. One takes the driver's controls while the other mans the turret.

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The Bavarian hovercar rams the Britannian Knightmare and combines fire from its turret, destroying an arm. Also the Britannian hero failed his redshirt roll and got run over.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 5:28 pm

USA:
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The USA troops clamber on top of the tank for a quick ride (the glare is from the amount of FREEDOM they're emitting).

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The troopers combine fire on the Bavarians while the USA tank activates its FREEDOM BEAM.

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The Bavarians are utterly destroyed and, to top insult to injury, the hovercar sustains 4 size points of damage.

Bavarians eliminated.

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The USA hero enters the running for G.R. 2015's Violence Against Women award with a swing of his OTC and seizes the hard drive.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 5:37 pm

Britannians:
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The downed Britannian Knightmare retrieves its sword and prepares to strike...

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However, it misses the small USA hero with such a large weapon.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:05 pm

Space Mafia:
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The Space Mafia car fires a missile on the USA tank.

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It misses by 4 inches and explodes harmlessly.

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The other mafia units fire on the USA hero, but his armor holds. Rei attempts a feat to turn the hero's OTC into tang, but crit-fails.

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The USA hero attempts his own counter-feat of dropping his trousers and seducing the Rei cosplayer with the size of his FREEDOM. It succeeds.

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It then combines with Rei's crit-fail to result in tang lube. Stuff happens.

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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:22 pm

USA:
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The USA troops fire on the Space Mafia biker while the tank fires the FREEDOM BEAM at the hovercar.

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The motorcycle and its rider are destroyed while the hovercar sustains one point of size damage.

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The USA hero "fuck her so hard her head asplode" (quoted from order).

USA Hero: Doesn't matter, had freedom.

EDIT:
<Scrap>: plot twist: the rei cosplayer was actually a guy

KANON CONFIRMED.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Silent-sigfig » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:27 pm

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BFenix wrote:
Silent-sigfig wrote: :dog:

Coolest 1000th post ever :D
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:30 pm

Britannians:
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The Britannian Knightmare rolls over and hits its sword against the Space Mafia hovercar, knocking off two more size points.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:35 pm

Space Mafia:
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The hovercar shoots and runs over the USA hero, who crit-fails his redshirt roll. The hero lets go of the hard drive as he dies.

USA Hero: Doesn't matter, had freedom.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:43 pm

USA:
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A USA trooper picks up the hard drive.

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All USA assets then fire on the mafia hovercar.

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The heavy fire whittles the hovercar down to its last size point.
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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby The Shadowscythe » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:46 pm

<colette>: you have to admit, the whole USA x Space Mafia thing has been very distracting
<ham>: swing the sword around violently and kill any shit in the way
<theshadowscythe>: you'll never think of FREEDOM the same way ever again . . .
<colette>: if freedom means what it did in this battle
<colette>: I think I want to live in North Korea


Quoted for lulz.
-- WARNINK -- LINK BELOW IZ KNOWN TO CAUZE HEMMORAGE --
Spoiler: show
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I WARNED YOU, DIDN'T I WARN YOU?! BLAME RAYHAWK DAMNIT.

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Re: Battle in the Chat: Battle for the Immortal Hard Drive

Postby Colette » Sun Jun 28, 2015 6:48 pm

Britannians:
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The Britannian Knightmare swings its sword, destroying the hovercar and killing the pilot.

Space Mafia eliminated.
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