I will return!

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I will return!

Postby Duerer » Sat Apr 02, 2016 5:56 am

Recommended BG Music

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Mr Crustacean:*whispering* Me boy, for ten good seasons you've been asking the same question over and over again. I wasn't until now, that I could give you the answer...”

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Mr Crustacean:*whispering* ...yes, now I am feeling it!”

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...and then, he silently passes away, in the arms of his employee.
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Re: I will return!

Postby Silverdream » Sat Apr 02, 2016 4:58 pm

Honestly, I bet most people on this forum even know what Spongebob is. I'm glad I saw it. I'm glad I can appreciate this.
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Re: I will return!

Postby RedRover » Sat Apr 02, 2016 5:19 pm

Now who will stop Plankton from getting the secret formula??  :shock:
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Re: I will return!

Postby Kommander Ken » Sat Apr 02, 2016 11:36 pm

Ravioli Ravioli, give me the formu-loni.  :warhead:
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Re: I will return!

Postby Duerer » Sat Apr 16, 2016 2:51 am

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Małgorzata Sadow: “Damn!”

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Małgorzata Sadow: “I knew, that they need to stay afloat after all these seasons, that went downhill. But killing Mr Crustacean?!”

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Małgorzata Sadow: “Fuck...”

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Janna Kowalska: “Good evening, I'm Janna Kowalska and I welcome you to today's edition of the Teleexpress.”

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Janna Kowalska: “On April the 15th, Lietuvan forces further advanced towards the western parts of the Byelorussian SSSR, currently taking the world of Brest under siege.”

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Janna Kowalska: “Furthermore, video footage of Lietuvan soldiers, striking at civilian settlements in that area has been leaked, yet any exact information about specific targets and casualties is missing.”

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*PEW-PEW*
Civilian 1: “We're under fire! Leave everything behind and run for your lives!”

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Civilian 2: “HELP! HELP!”

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*BZZT*
Małgorzata Sadow: “Skurwiele! Attacking defenceless civilians! I'd go straight there and rip their...”

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Małgorzata Sadow: “What I'm talking about, though? They seem to have chosen their opponents wisely. These perfidious bastards know, that we won't go on an offensive against them.”

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Małgorzata Sadow: “Not after all these centuries, both of our nations used to be one... Used to fight our common enemy together...”
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Re: I will return!

Postby Nimja » Sat Apr 16, 2016 8:26 am

well that got very dark very quickly.
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Re: I will return!

Postby Duerer » Tue Apr 19, 2016 12:42 pm

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Yes, it was a long time ago, when the Kingdom of Poland and the Grand Duchy of Lietuva allied themselves for the first time. While at first being the last bastion of Baltic Paganism, the Lietuvans converted to the faith in the Great Creator, as they entered a union with the Poles. Together, we managed to fight the Teutonic Knights, that were invading our territory and liberated the troubled population from their iron grip.

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As the decades passed by, the relations between the Poles and Lietuvans vastly improved, as both peoples banded together to form the Polish-Lietuvan Noble Republik. It was one of the greatest empires, that was ever formed, dominating a grand piece of territory in the Purple Sector. Glorious moments, like the Battle of Vienna and the Battle of Kłuszyn are still remembered by our people, in spite of the future efforts of erasing these parts of history from our books.

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However, one major issue has been overlooked by many historians, that still dwell in the nostalgia of our all so glorious past: the nobles were granted more and more privileges, until they ended up rejecting any of the Kings proposals without any trouble. Considering, that all the noble houses had different interests and motives, finding a compromise was nearly impossible.

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The ruling nobles intended to tighten their grip over their subjects and tried to incorporate them into the lands of the crown. These efforts were not left unnoticed, as several peoples arose against the Polish forces, such as the Cossacks and even several Lietuvan noble houses.

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It was only a matter of time, until all the great powers get word from the internal struggle of the Noble Republik and saw the opportunity of exploiting it's lands for their own purpose. While it's forces still fought strong and valiantly, they were unable to repel that huge tide of intruders, leading to the occupation by the Soviets.

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As soon as the Soviets themselves experienced internal struggles, the time for uprising was right! The peoples of former SSSRs stood up against their oppressors and drove them out from their homelands. The Poles and Magyars succeeded in BR 2,014, while the Lietuvans and Qirim Tatars followed in BR 2,015. However, not all rebel groups in Lietuva pursued the same goals or ideological mindset.

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The most extreme example is the National Front of Lietuva, lead by the charismatic, yet insane Vytautas Blinda. His promises of a Greater Empire deeply appeal to the Lietuvans, being fed up from being rules by foreign powers and standing in the shadows of history. Having connections to Assyrian arm dealers and politicians, he could gather sufficient outside support for his plans and eventually crushed the collaborate government in a violent coup.

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His reign didn't end up to be any less oppressive, as the persecution of rebels and intellectuals still remained a major part of the daily routine in Lietuva. In fact, Blinda sees us as another threat to the new Lietuvan independence and the former Noble Republik just as a scheme to keep them under Polish rule. Despite the fact, that Blinda's regime has next to no close allies in this sector, his men are still determined to fight for an empire, which was denied by all the neighbouring realms.
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Re: I will return!

Postby RedRover » Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:24 pm

:omnom:
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Re: I will return!

Postby Durandal » Tue Apr 19, 2016 7:03 pm

Having grown up in Poland and being intimately aquainted with her proud people and history, I love this. I love the way you incorperated bits of real history into your brikverse history. :) your builds are great too so its a package deal of awesome. :)
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Re: I will return!

Postby Insert_blank » Tue Apr 19, 2016 7:17 pm

Where's the dick pic?
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Re: I will return!

Postby Duerer » Tue Apr 26, 2016 10:59 am

Location: Intermarium Coalition HQ, Nowa Warszawa, Polish Confederation

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Bogusław Dudek: “Gentlemen, looks like the current situation is much tougher than expected.”

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Bogusław Dudek: “Look at this! The Lietuvans are getting more foot on the Byelorussian front and nothing is holding them back!”
Titusz Császár: “Not only that, they don't pay any attention on civilian casualties at all.”

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Ryszard Mazurek: “But there must be something we could do about the aggressors. I mean, we can't just stand back.”
Marian Kosakiewicz: “I fear, that we currently have no other choice, panie generale. A military intervention would yield serious consequences.”
???: “I totally agree with you, panie kapitanie.”

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Stanisław Sosabowski: “Pani prezydencie, what has brought you here to our briefing room?”
Małgorzata Sadow: “After defeating the Nutzees and Soviets from attacking us, we should proceed with greater caution now, especially now that Blinda and his men had to intervene in this conflict.”

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Ryszard Mazurek: “But what could prevent us from preempting their efforts and making sure, that the situation won't go out of hand?”
Małgorzata Sadow: “In his national propaganda Blinda portrays the Poles as sneering imperialists that are hell-bent on annexing neighboring lands, yet he makes sure to avoid foreign provocation and doesn't openly defy our operations. Thus, if we would march in, he could point at us and convince everyone of his claims being true.”

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Titusz Császár: “But Blinda is an outsider here! As far as I know, the Lietuvans don't have any close allies in this sector.”
Marian Kosakiewicz: “In this sector! But he sure has access to Assyrian weaponry, which brings up the question of how deep his connections truly are. I suppose we're talking about more, than just some trade agreements.”

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Małgorzata Sadow: “Exactly! Blinda knows how to twist around words and try to bend things for his own favor. No wonder that most of the Lietuvan population is in favour of his promises. And we could expect him to call others for help, if someone should threaten their independence.”
Ryszard Mazurek: “Well, I would suggest a quick strike on the Byelorussian border and go for the Soviets first and trying to...”

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Małgorzata Sadow: “By that time? Impossible! Just look at the map! Blinda's forces already occupied the territories around our borders to Byelorussia, just to send us another big fuck you!”
Stanisław Sosabowski: “Which would only leave us to strike on the Kiyevan border and attack Byelorussia from there; a maneuver that would be rather exhausting our forces, given that the reds have extended their military presence there.“

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Bogusław Dudek: “So what would you suggest, pani prezydencie?”
Małgorzata Sadow: “Looks like we're in some deep shit again and frankly, I have no idea how to get out of it in the short term.

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Małgorzata Sadow: “I hate to say it, but right now all we can do is waiting for the right time to come.”
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Re: I will return!

Postby Duerer » Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:30 am

Location: Polish-Lietuvan border, contested space
Mission: Border patrol


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Lietuvan Gunner 1: “Lovely. Another boring day in fucking nowhere...”
Lietuvan Gunner 2: “If there was at least some scraped spaceship flying around, but no... Absolutely nothing!”

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*BEEP-BEEP*
Lietuvan Captain: “Huh! what's that?! Something's on the radar.”
Lietuvan Gunner 2: “But it's moving away from us, tho.”

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Lietuvan Captain: “What's that?! A foreign freighter in our aerospace?! Without any permission of entrance?!!”
Lietuvan Gunner 1: “Calm down. It's looks like it got lost and is leaving, see?”

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Lietuvan Captain: “No, we have an illegal trespasser in our perimeter, who has to face punishment! Open fire!”
Lietuvan Gunner 1: “Are you nuts?! We have clear instructions to be careful with outsiders, as it is unwise to stir more shit. We could just send a warning through our commlink and...”

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*click*
Lietuvan Gunner 2: “AAAHHH!!”
Lietuvan Captain: “But my instructions are to reduce any ship, that violates against our border customs into scrap metal! Fire the main cannon, NOW!”

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*tap-tap-tap*

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*bzzt-bzzt*

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*PEW-PEW*

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*Ka-BLAM*

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Lietuvan Captain: “That'll teach them a lesson!”
Lietuvan Gunner 1:We're fucked...
Lietuvan Gunner 2:Big times...
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Re: I will return!

Postby Duerer » Sat May 07, 2016 3:54 pm

Location: “Podlaski Kuj” Military Base, Planet Suwałki, Polish Confederation
Mission: Prepare for the aftermath


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Announcer:*through loudspeakers* Red Alert! Red Alert! This is not a drill! I repeat, this is not a drill!”

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Announcer:*through loudspeakers* Lietuvan ships were opening fire on our civilian freighters! Blinda's forces are openly threatening our people and our operations in this sector!”

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Announcer:*through loudspeakers* Report to your superior officer for further instructions, immediately!”

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Komodor Magdalena Pierunska: “Yeah, finally!”
Co-Captain: “You were just waiting for the day of attacking the Lietuvan forces, weren't you?”

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Komodor Magdalena Pierunska: “As soon as Blinda took over, his minions pillage several civilian settlements and took several innocent lives. Among them my fellow people...”
Co-Captain: “Oh dear. I kind of understand the pain.”

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Komodor Magdalena Pierunska: “To be fair, I have no idea, why the Prezydent hesitated on intervening in Byelorussia. We could have prevented the killings earlier.”

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Co-Captain: “I suppose, if we went for the offensive, they could have framed us for expansionism. Not an expert in diplomatic stuff, but that's what I'd think off.”
Komodor Magdalena Pierunska: “Probably, but waiting to take the beating before intervening is still bullshit.”

Meanwhile on Planet Vilnius, Lietuva...
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???: “AAAAAAAAAAAARRRHHHHH!!!!”

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Vytautas Blinda: “I have told you SEVERAL times, NOT to attack any Polish spacecraft, so we won't bother with them! SEVERAL FUCKING TIMES!!”
Lietuvan Gunner 1: “B-but we tried to reason with the captain.”
Lietuvan Gunner 2: “W-we had no other ch-choice! Mišeikis was holding a gun on m-my head.”

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Vytautas Blinda: “Boo-hoo! A gun on your head... You dare to call yourself a soldier?! Pfft...”

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Vytautas Blinda: “Well, fuck it. Guards! Call in Kapitonas Mišeikis! I wanna hear his version of this incident.”

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*vzzt*

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Kapitonas Mišeikis: “You wanted to speak with me, Generalisimas?”
Vytautas Blinda: “Did you issue the order to open fire on that freighter?”
Kapitonas Mišeikis: “Of course! I was just fulfilling my duty and protecting our bord-

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*RATATATATATATAT*

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Vytautas Blinda: “This shall be an example for anyone, who dares to question my orders.”

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Vytautas Blinda: “As for our current efforts, we have to come up with a new strategy to prevent us from getting entirely sandwiched. Fuck, it could have been so much easy!”

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Lietuvan Gunner 2: “And... w-what about us?”

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Vytautas Blinda:*deep breath* *sigh* Just get out of my sight.”
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Re: I will return!

Postby Duerer » Sat May 14, 2016 5:20 am

Location: Sector 58-B, Planet Brest, Byelorussian SSSR

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The Soviets managed to keep the Lietuvans from entirely conquering the planet Brest, but several urban districts have been laid to waste in the process and the few surviving civilians had to be evacuated from the ruins. However, one man dares to venture into the ruined sector 58-B in order to escape from his superior officers...

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Nikita Kosygin: *hasty breathing*

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Conscript 1: “Come out, come out, wherever you are!”
Conscript 2: “You can't hide forever, Kosygin!”

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Officer: “Have you managed to locate the traitor?”
Conscript 2: “Nyet tovarish. No signs of him, yet.”

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Conscript 1: “However, our scanner can track down his implanted chip. Currently it's locating something to the East.”
Officer: “Well then, get going! We must not lose him, for he knows too much about Operation: Weed Out!”

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*beep-beep*
Conscript 1: “He must be right here inside that building!”
Conscript 2: “Let's get in there!”

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*beep-beep-beep-beep*
Conscript 2: Beeping intensifies! He must be nearby!

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*BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP*
Officer: “The building's empty... But why does it keep beeping?!”
Conscript 1: “Scanner found something in the drawer...”

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*BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP*

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*BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP*
Conscript 1: “It's Kosygin's chip!”
Conscript 2: “No way he could just remove it from his neck! Not without enduring enormous amounts of pain...”

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*BEEP-BEEP-crack*
Officer:*squeezes chip* Sukin syn! He escaped!”

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Conscript 2: “Impossible! How do we explain ourselves to General Volkov?”
Officer: “Don't panic. I'll figure something out. Otherwise, we could always try to escape this shithole and have a comfy life abroad, if shit's getting real.”

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Nikita Kosygin: “Wew, that was close... But I need to get the hell out of here. Hopefully, they'll get my emergency call in time...”

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*patapatapatapata*
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Re: I will return!

Postby Duerer » Wed May 25, 2016 1:43 pm

Location: Polish-Byelorussian border
Mission: Wait for further instructions


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*beep-beep* *beep-beep*
Co-Pilot: “We're receiving a message from... an unknown source... weird.”
Komodor Magdalena Pierunska: “Let me see it...”

Code: Select all
“TIGER CALLS EAGLE

MANAGED TO GET THE PLANS! STUCK ON PLANET BREST HOWEVER!
I'M SURROUNDED BY REDS AND NEED A TAKEOFF ASAP!”


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Komodor Magdalena Pierunska: “Is that the contact, that HQ mentioned?”
Co-Pilot: “Yup. Nikita Kosygin, used to work on some secret project and is now supposed to help us on getting information about said project.”

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Komodor Magdalena Pierunska:*sigh* Oh well, let's better get him out of his trouble.”

Meanwhile in the occupied Byelorussian space...
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Lietuvan Gunner 1: “Managed to get plans... surrounded by reds... mhmm...”
Lietuvan Gunner 2: “No idea, what plans got mentioned, but I think this the Generalismas will be pleased, if he sees this message.”
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