Lambent Light

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Lambent Light

Postby Colette » Sun Jan 14, 2018 1:46 am

Location: Near Bavarian space
Time: 1/14/G.R. 2018, 12:30am
Description: Trattorian Recovery Force - RARCom International Joint Task Force Alpha-Nine Mission Log, Operation WEEPING CANARY


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RARCom Retriever James: What the fuck happened here? There's blood and shit and dolls and corposes strewn everywhere.
TRF Sergeant Kang: Looks like a failed ritual of some sort. Consistent with the Magicians Alliance reports of anomalous activity in the area.
RARCom Retriever James: When did we all start sharing intel and working with each other, anyway?
TRF Sergeant Kang: We don't. But if the WEEPING CANARY intel and prior reports are accurate, none of us will want this to happen.

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RARCom Retriever James: A̵H̴H̷Ḫ̶̬͋͝H̸̯̐, my head h̵u̵r̷t̵s̴.
TRF Sergeant Kang: Sergeant James, is your anti-cognitohazard SCRAMBLE gear operational?
RARCom Retriever James: Yesss...but it still gives me a hell of a kick even through the filter.

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"自̷͙̰̯̫̬̬̣̅͜分̷̙͇͈͎̰̈́͌͝を̵̡͍̹̭̺̻̲̼̪̾̏̄͛ ̴̬̲͎̱̫̥̫͚̓͋̋̽̂̐̓͗͗̈́ͅ世̸̙̪̰̦̙̯̽̏̋̇̄̑̓̿̀̕界̵̲̜͊͒̾͐̄͋͗̈́̈́さ̸͔̬͚͓͆̉̄̓え̴̡̩̠͒͂̆͠͝も̷͈̩͂̓̈́̍͋͘ ̴̨̡͕͈̮̳̙͈͑̈́̈́̓̈̎̊̇͒͜͝変̴̩̯̳͕̽́̎͐̒͝え̵̮͖̞͈̌̈́̒̀͌̈́̉̋̊̽て̴̬͓̽̓̓̇̂̋̈́し̴̩̦́̓ま̸̧̡̡̛̥͕̺͎̥͝え̶̞̬͛͛そ̸̛͇͕̟̯̠̲̲́̈́͊͌͘ͅう̴̧̟̮̱͔̓̀̆̎͗な̵̗̺̰͋̈̿̏̓̕ ̷̧͈͙͉͊̀̀́̎͐"
TRF Lieutenant Ross: Did anyone else hear that?
RARCom Professor Bernstein: Shut up, we're communicating through radio. That's impossible.

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RARCom Professor Bernstein: Here, I cut a path through with my OTC.
TRF Sergeant Kang: Scanners are detecting a large amount of Liang bosons on the other side of that wall.

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TRF Lieutenant Ross: All units, prepare for insertion into a hot situation and to engage with threat entities of unknown capability.

To be continued...
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Because everything's better with math.
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Re: Lambent Light

Postby motorhead fan » Sun Jan 14, 2018 4:35 am

Argh! The walls are covered with girls!
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Can the gun aim upwards? Because on mine, it keeps flopping down and it's a bit annoying.
 
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Re: Lambent Light

Postby Colette » Sun Jan 14, 2018 2:34 pm

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Neckbeard Leader: Have you brought the artifact, my friend?
Weeaboo Kultist: Yes, my lord.

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Weeaboo Kultist: I and a few other /k/ommandos used the magik and ninja training you bestowed on us to return Her Holiness's rapier from a Scythian KINGUNDERTHEMOUNTAIN facility into the possession of Her rightful followers. I present Her Holiness's weapon to you freely as a gift, so that we together may further our goals.

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Neckbeard Leader: Most excellent, my friend. Did you acquire the other required ingredient for the ritual?
Weeaboo Kultist: I apologize my lord, we were unable to retrieve any m'ladies, perhaps we require further training.
Neckbeard Leader: That will be unnecessary. The ritual calls only for a virgin.

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Weeaboo Kultist: *gurgle* Traitor!
Neckbeard Leader: A single life is irrelevant compared to Her Holiness the Best Girl, the Empress of 2D, the One and Only True Waifu.
Weeaboo Kultist: *cough* You...would go that far...just to...see...that...pleb...tier...Asuna...
Neckbeard Leader: I gave up everything the moment I laid eyes on Her Holiness.

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TRF Sergeant Kang: Attention kultists, this is Joint Task Force Alpha-Nine! Under the authorities of the Meritocratic Republic of Trattoria and the Praetorian Empire, we command you to cease your anomalous activities for the sake of maintaining consensus reality!

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Neckbeard Leader: Ha, ha, ha...Omae wa mou shindeiru, you unenlightened gaijins. The ritual has already begun, and soon Her Holiness will enter the BrikVerse and shine upon all with her lambent light.

"REE̸E̷E̴Ę̶̺͆͐Ȩ̷̭͠Ȇ̷̬̚E̷̛̗̯̩̻͕͔͚͈͂̽͂̏̒̀̓̿E̴̛̻̣͑̐͌̅͛̽̉̏Ẻ̵͔̙̯̙̹͉̀̆̚͜Ȩ̷͇́̆̓̿͝Ẻ̵̡͈̜͚E̸͙͚͈͒̑E̸̛̙̪̖̘͐͂͗̈́̍̋̈́̋̽͗́̃̌̎̎̐̚͘͝͝͝ͅĘ̴͖̭̥̥̤̞̻͉͉̭̻̻̇̎̐͂̃̔͂̆̿̿̐̈̕͜Ȩ̴̧̯̞͉̱̹̖̺̪͍̘̝̙͓͓̯̮̩͙̦͈̱̾̋̕͘͜ͅȨ̴̧̨̡͈̺͍̤̖̫̮̲̥̥̟͈͚͚̟̰̣͓͚̩̞̪̬͉͛͌̈́̈̈̂̉̓Ȩ̸̡̖̣̲̟̱̯̪̝̯̬̖͉̙̘̖̬̰̠͇͐̀̈̾̀͒̽̎̔͊̎͒̈́̀̒̍̿̓̋̎̂̽̄̓̚͘͘͜͜͝͝͝Ȩ̷̡̲̱͉̼̟͇̈́̔͗̋̃̃̽̇̄̈́͛̍̀̓̐̔͊͑̉̄̅̄͌̅̀̂͘̕͜͠E̵̗̞̱̗̎͐̇Ȩ̶̡̧̛̩̪̞̖̯̟͓̼͙̫̤̣̠̝̘̬̮̫͎͔͆̍̅̈̇͛͛̐̏̿̒̏̎͛͊͑͂̌̀̔̌͑̃͛̓̋͛̎̉̉͝͠Ě̵̡̢͎̗̹͈̲͎̫̮͙͓̘̤̬̎̏̄̍́̓͋̐̋̅̽͒̀̒͗͆̑̎̾̃́̈́͘͘͜͜͝E̸̖͕͈̤̯̠̼̰̼̜̒̇̑̾̈͗̍̅̊̔̀͊͐̃͗́͌̈́̈́̀͒̄͆̎̊̓̏̕͝͠͝ͅȆ̴̢̨̠̘͓̻̩͈̥̼̲͉̮̖̗̲̒́̑͆͒̕͜͝E̸̡͔̥͓̦͓̠͙̼͍̙͇̥̰̣̦̲͂̍͆̇̇͑̃͆̆͊͐͐͒Ẹ̴͒̉̽̍̈́͑̂̄̓͆̔̋͌̎̃̇̈́̀͊͘͝͝E̶̢̡͓̱̗̪̳͍̳̱̘̳̞̺̦̯͕̥͉̗̿̊͂̆̋́̒͆̎̌́̀̂̉̊̈̿̎̆̑̆̔͂͋͒͐̇͐̚̕͜͜͜͝ͅE̵̝̪͚͂͂́͌̍͝E̵̡̻͓͇̩͔̱̰̮̞͚͔̣̥͍̦͖͕̹͓͕̺͖͇̺̻̦͔̓̒̔̉͆͐͗̔̌͘͘͝ͅE̴̡̧̢̧̧̜̙̜̳̯̩̝̟̭̺̳̐̅̍͒̈́̋͛̃̄͐ͅȆ̶̢̢̡̮͓̤̜͓͇͖̻̜͇̪͇̮͍͔̺̝̮̥̭̥̝̫̼̀͆͜͜"

To be continued...
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Re: Lambent Light

Postby Steel_Valkyrie » Sun Jan 14, 2018 3:12 pm

This is beautifully cringey.
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Also sounding like a whiny bitch
 
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Re: Lambent Light

Postby Omega Prime » Mon Jan 15, 2018 1:39 am

I like where this is going. Also, NANI??
gotta love knitting needles. i can make you a scarf. i can make a hat. i can stab your eyes out. i can make mittens.

What was that middle part again?

i can make a hat
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