Lambda Studios

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Lambda Studios

Postby Colette » Wed Jun 27, 2018 1:52 pm

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"Imagine the perfect TV show that always knows what you want. A comedy that always makes you laugh, a drama that makes you cry every time, a deep psychological thriller that makes you ponder the mysteries of life."

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"Thanks to our cutting-edge machine learning algorithms and Big Data analytics, our lovingly crafted anime always knows what you want."

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"We're the brain trust behind acclaimed shows such as Sort Art Online beloved by trillions of our fans across the galaxies. We're Lambda Studios, and we're in the business of manufacturing fun!"

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Co-CEO Dr. Murai Minakami: It still feels like yesterday when we set up shop in a messy Trattorian apartment with a pile of quantum servers. Anime has always been a part of Trattorian culture, but it historically it has remained a low-margin business. We felt our AI technology and Big Data could disrupt the industry and really improve the quality of the art we produce here.
Co-CEO Dr. Anant Sahai: Even when no Trattorian investor would back us, we went all the way to the USA's Silicon Nebula and found forward-thinking venture capitalists willing to actualize our bold vision. It's clear who got the last laugh - today, we're a ₮180 trillion intergalactic company, and we've expanded beyond anime into manga, light novels, video games, music, and even news.

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CTO Dr. Chan: Lambda Studios is a thought leader in the fields of machine learning and computer vision, thanks to our founding disruptions that resulted from the doctoral work of myself and Dr. Minakami. Leveraging the power of convolutional neural networks, generative adversarial algorithms, and cycle-consistent meta-learning criteria has allowed us to take not just anime, but entertainment itself to the next level. Unlocking the value of data has only further allowed us to respond to consumer needs and democratize the medium. When some people look at us, they only see an anime company. But we're really a tech company, and we create real value through our innovations and solutions.

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CTO Dr. Chan: Here at Lambda we never forget our ties to the Silicon Nebula, and though we went public several years ago, we still tend to think ourselves as a startup in our hearts and our culture. Our engineers never fear proposing the next big thing or optimizing our processes.

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Dr. Swansea, Senior VP of Marketing: Of course, we recognize that we are more than the sum of our parts, and our engineers are one crucial part of a team that has to work together to make our products successful.

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SVP Swansea: For example, Lambda recognizes the quintessential effort of our voice actors and singers. They are the public, human face of the company, and our liaisons to our many dedicated fans.

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SVP Swansea: Our Lambda Security forces serve invaluable roles in protecting our voice actors and executives, protecting our intellectual property against pirates, and assisting the Allied Nations in humanitarian efforts to distribute free anime and manga as educational resources to children in need. Any other reported involvement is unsubstantiated slander from a biased media.

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Mr. Bogart, VP of Community Outreach: But of course, our most valuable people aren't even on our payroll - they're our legions of trillions of dedicated fans across the BrikVerse. Without their boundless enthusiasm and passion for our work, none of this would be possible.

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Random fan: Oh my goddess, Mio my waifu! I love this anime soooo much!
VP Bogart: Hey, we're filming a promo reel right now, you can't - cut the camera!

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"Lambda. We turned art into a science."
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Re: Lambda Studios

Postby Colette » Wed Jun 27, 2018 1:52 pm

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"We've turned art into a science"...but science is an art, too.

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Lambda's senior executives and co-founders, from left to right: Chief Technology Officer Dr. Chan, and Co-Chief Executive Officers Dr. Sahai and Dr. Minakami.

"A computer scientist, a mathematician, and a professor walked into a bar...and conquered one of Trattoria's last safe spaces for creative types with their labcoats and formulas and AI."

CTO Dr. Chan: Dr. Chan's "invent first, ask questions later" has produced more than one problem with Trattorian regulators and worse...

Co-CEO Dr. Sahai: Despite his position at the top of the corporation, the former professor is rumored to detest anime. But not the money or the stock options, of course.

Co-CEO Dr. Minakami: Dr. Minakami's penchant for playing anime pop music at corporate earnings calls and board meetings annoys the hell out of an investor and executive class used to Mozart and Beethoven.

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Lambda Security. For, um, basic protection, humanitarian missions, and "minor" enforcement actions against pirates and pornographic doujinshi authors.

When the Trattorian Legislature objected to an anime company needing armed forces, complete with tanks and missile-armed aerial drones, a single uncensored Googel Image Search was all the evidence Lambda's lawyers needed to change their minds.

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Normal Lambda security mercenaries, usually found around company offices or other assets.

Some fanboys love anime so much that they're willing to die for it, all in the name of a corporate employment contract and a 20% discount on anime figures.

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Lambda Security's special forces are usually pulled from veterans, and are a part of Lambda's recent efforts to circumvent the Trattorian Science Department's Black Box Bureau and TRFs in finding and retrieving anime-related anomalies in the name of profit. Unfortunately, even these elite mercenaries are usually heavily outmatched by the eldritch objects and monstrosities they encounter, and usually the BBB and a TRF team has to get involved to clean up the resulting mess.

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Lambda special forces on a typical anomaly recovery mission.

"Extradimensional waifu goddesses can fetch hundreds of billions, even trillions of dollars in black-market auctions to eccentric trillionaires ranging from Bavarian princes to 45th Union oligarchs to USA Silicon Nebula startup founders to Scythian lords.

If you can catch them. Without the entire retrieval team dying. Or the nearest city. Or the planet they're standing on."


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With the covert, publicly denied approval of the Trattorian government, Lambda researchers also secretly conduct research into anomalous memetic agents. Thanks to Lambda's wide consumer base, inserting these into their products such as anime, manga, music, novels, or even news articles can sway entire populations with subtle influence. Hopefully in Lambda's favor, although poorly understood memetics backfires just as often as it works.

"Intensified waifu wars and internet shitfights over anime taste were anticipated, if unfortunate side effects of the memetics research and deployment program. The concomitant hyperpartisanship, populist rage, fake news, and breakdown in public institutions that occurred in targeted minifig audiences surprised and horrified Lambda's memeticists. But it only piqued the interest of Trattorian military leaders."

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In a much ballyhooed move, Lambda Studios was approved to purchase several military-grade Pascal drones. Lambda insists they're for "peaceful purposes", such as providing free internet to third-world planets. Lambda maintains that the missiles merely came with the drones as part of a package deal with Sun Engineering Corporation.

"When a corporate memetics lab gets overrun by memetic zombies or a recovery mission goes horribly wrong, who you gonna call?"

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The trillions of fans across the Nehellenium Galaxy and its satellites are what really give Lambda Studios its power. Hordes of basement-dwelling neckbeards, self-proclaimed "teeaboos", are obsessed with any new show and use their allowances to buy up any merchandise the company produces. Although most Lambda executives and Trattorians in general look down upon these folks, they will gladly take their money and, if not even that, eyeball time for ads and personal data.

"Teeaboos who actually visit Trattoria are usually disappointed to find, rather than harems of hot girls falling over them like in some dumb isekai plot, a dystopian authoritarian regime with the strictest laws in the galaxy, where even hand-holding or chewing gum can land you in jail."

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Some fans go even further, cosplaying as their favorite characters. Some even use teknology or magik to emulate their abilities.

Spoiler: show
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Somehow Rei went from leading bands of roving Spartans in battle to leading this cosplay legion, while Asuka was out of a job after the AN-TA War.

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RARCom denies any involvement in engineering espers, and insists these A Certain cosplayers are just nuts.

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Sort Art Online is one of the most popular and yet somehow one of the most hated animes in Lambda's repertoire.

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Nobody knows from whence the Madoka Mathica magical girl squad draws their powers, but some have their suspicions.

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These guys are kind of useless. Nano the android has her talking pet cult Sakamoto, while Hakase is armed with a rollcake.
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Re: Lambda Studios

Postby Omega Prime » Wed Jun 27, 2018 3:33 pm

Somewhere on a war torn planet...
The planet's cities are ravaged by war, streets destroyed and torn up. Soldiers take up positions in rooms formerly holding luxury bars, while shooting up what used to be the city's highest end apartments. The battle is fierce, with the native defenders forming a tough resistance to the Trattorian forces, who are unwilling to simply pound the planet into submission due to its high strategic value. Instead, they opt to use... more exotic methods.
"Hey, do you hear that noise?" A native defense force soldier, taking a break from the fighting, remarks to his companions. "Sounds like a bunch of girls." True enough, a high-pitched giggling can be heard on the horizon.
"What the hell?" As one, the warriors climb to their feet, peering through the smog. One pulls out macrobinoculars. "Holy shit..."
Just then, the horde of anime anomalies surge over the horizon. The base's alarms start to blare, soldiers taking defensive positions and firing at the approaching horde.

But it is already too late.

Jesus this shit is actually scary tho
gotta love knitting needles. i can make you a scarf. i can make a hat. i can stab your eyes out. i can make mittens.

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i can make a hat
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Re: Lambda Studios

Postby ninja_bait » Wed Jun 27, 2018 3:55 pm

Is this what the Brikverse has instead of zombie hordes?
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Re: Lambda Studios

Postby Omega Prime » Wed Jun 27, 2018 7:47 pm

ninja_bait wrote:Is this what the Brikverse has instead of zombie hordes?

No, we have both. It's just a matter of which one is scarier.
gotta love knitting needles. i can make you a scarf. i can make a hat. i can stab your eyes out. i can make mittens.

What was that middle part again?

i can make a hat
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Re: Lambda Studios

Postby stubby » Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:35 pm

Colette wrote:Co-CEO Dr. Minakami: Dr. Minakami's penchant for playing anime pop music at corporate earnings calls and board meetings annoys the hell out of an investor and executive class used to Mozart and Beethoven.

Mozart and Beethoven? A little pedestrian for that class, don't you think
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Re: Lambda Studios

Postby Colette » Wed Jun 27, 2018 9:57 pm

stubby wrote:
Colette wrote:Co-CEO Dr. Minakami: Dr. Minakami's penchant for playing anime pop music at corporate earnings calls and board meetings annoys the hell out of an investor and executive class used to Mozart and Beethoven.

Mozart and Beethoven? A little pedestrian for that class, don't you think

Figured people getting the joke about rich people stereotypes was more valuable than some random reference to Schubert or Mendelssohn.
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Re: Lambda Studios

Postby stubby » Fri Jun 29, 2018 1:14 am

Colette wrote:Figured people getting the joke about rich people stereotypes was more valuable than some random reference to Schubert or Mendelssohn.

The more I think about it, the funnier it is. Trattorians, nuanced appreciation of hard sciences, only the basest appreciation of humanities. "Mozart was on the Baby Genius CD, therefore it must be for smart people"
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Re: Lambda Studios

Postby Colette » Fri Jun 29, 2018 8:55 am

stubby wrote:
Colette wrote:Figured people getting the joke about rich people stereotypes was more valuable than some random reference to Schubert or Mendelssohn.

The more I think about it, the funnier it is. Trattorians, nuanced appreciation of hard sciences, only the basest appreciation of humanities. "Mozart was on the Baby Genius CD, therefore it must be for smart people"

I can get behind this interpretation.

Although I was mainly referring to the international, cosmopolitan minifig bourgeoisie only made possible by the longest period of horrifying peace between the major star nations (wink wink nudge nudge time to get some wars going). Unless they're also rubes too, which I can also get behind.
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