Marital Strife

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Marital Strife

Postby ninja_bait » Thu Aug 09, 2018 7:07 am

Played my first game of Brikwars with Mrs_Bait last night.  It was a success, there will be further games.

I played as the Children of Dew, led by the Almighty Benny Gesserit.  He is supported by two infantry men and two Sour-Dew-Kar.  She played as the Hammer Gang, no army pic though.
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The Children of Dew set up in this abandoned structure to defend their precious Dew.
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But the forest is full of Hammer Gang members, hoping to steal the can for themselves.  The Hammer Gang boss, Mrs. Peen, is here; she has the biggest hammer.  The hammers are not their penises.
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The Sour-Dew-Kar venture into the forest to find their prey.  They find them and fail to kill them.
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Immediately, the Hammer Gang swarms them.
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It is at this point my wife starts to understand the appeal of Brikwars.
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These guys throw their hammers, but all three hits are absorbed by the shield.
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This guy lands a kill.
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This guy tries, too.
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Just not my day, I guess.
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The Almighty Benny Gesserit fires into his can of refined Dew, causing a natural geyser to erupt under a gang member's feet.
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These guys pick up their hammers and try again, failing again to kill the elite Sour-Dew-Kar.
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"Back to the trees!"
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This guy tries out some new weapons.
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There's a bunch of double-fisting.
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This guy finally makes his mark, everyone else whiffs.  At this point I was going to use my feat to call for reinforcements but I had told my wife at the beginning that she couldn't hold guys in reserve, so I lost that ability.  The reinforcements are really cool though, I'll post them later.
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The double hammers are very effective.
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The double hammer gang members are not.  They once again retreat to the trees
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A heroic feat fails.  That's right, I pulled out a stumble die, bitches.
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The Sour-Dew-Kar continues to be useless at killing.
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The infantryman kills double hammer guy.
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Repeated blunt force trauma finally pulps the Sour-Dew-Kar.  I was going to just toss the whole dude back in the bag at which point my wife said, "But I want the weapons!"  So the weapons were all that remained of my elite guard.
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Mrs. Peen picks up the hammer but cannot do anything with it.
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Some thrown hammers make short work of my infantryman - I guess the helmet was just for show.
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The Almighty Benny Gesserit attempts a feat but fails, instead getting thrown clumsily by a gush of Dew to the ground.  ("And he drops his weapons!" said my wife.)
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In a bit of anti-climax, this Hammer Gang member shoots him dead.  He's never seen a shield before, I guess.
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Thank you for your consideration.  As always, here is my empty promise of more to come:  More battles to come!
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Re: Marital Strife

Postby Craigallot » Thu Aug 09, 2018 11:36 am

Your wife seems to have caught the hang of it pretty quick. :) This is probably the best possible outcome, I remember playing Brikwars with my sister years ago, and winning, and she didn't want to play it again afterwards. :why:
Zahru II wrote:'HEROIC MEAL TIME DRUNK OFF THAT YE OLDE JACK DAGNALS. HATER PREPARED TO BE MASHED LIKE TATERS, CUZ WE DON'T F*** AROUND. Ah whaddup, dwarf SAWSE.'

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Re: Marital Strife

Postby ninja_bait » Thu Aug 09, 2018 11:51 am

Bragallot wrote:Your wife seems to have caught the hang of it pretty quick. :) This is probably the best possible outcome, I remember playing Brikwars with my sister years ago, and winning, and she didn't want to play it again afterwards. :why:


Yeah, I have more success introducing new games when she wins them :lol:
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Re: Marital Strife

Postby Falk » Thu Aug 09, 2018 12:12 pm

I had the same problem when playing with my brother.
BrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
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Re: Marital Strife

Postby Duerer » Thu Aug 09, 2018 1:06 pm

:protip: Always lose your first demo battle in order to lure your pal into further playing the game.
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Re: Marital Strife

Postby Craigallot » Fri Aug 10, 2018 3:28 am

I tried but my dice rolls were way too good. :why:
Zahru II wrote:'HEROIC MEAL TIME DRUNK OFF THAT YE OLDE JACK DAGNALS. HATER PREPARED TO BE MASHED LIKE TATERS, CUZ WE DON'T F*** AROUND. Ah whaddup, dwarf SAWSE.'

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Re: Marital Strife

Postby Cakeman » Fri Aug 10, 2018 3:05 pm

Bonus points awarded for getting your wife to play. And another bonus point for the witty Children of Dew. All around good fun :)
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Re: Marital Strife

Postby motorhead fan » Sun Aug 12, 2018 5:34 am

I once played a game with my mum, I got the 1st kill and she sighed audibly and was like: "Ooooh ok"
After that I didn't get a single kill and she killed all my guys, we still didn't play another game though.
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Re: Marital Strife

Postby Zupponn » Mon Aug 13, 2018 8:18 pm

ninja_bait wrote:Mrs_Bait

So that makes you Mr_Bait.

Mr_Bait - Masturbate.

Hmmm...
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Re: Marital Strife

Postby ninja_bait » Mon Aug 13, 2018 8:56 pm

Zupponn wrote:
ninja_bait wrote:Mrs_Bait

So that makes you Mr_Bait.

Mr_Bait - Masturbate.

Hmmm...


Marital strife
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
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Re: Marital Strife

Postby Zupponn » Mon Aug 13, 2018 9:06 pm

ninja_bait wrote:
Zupponn wrote:
ninja_bait wrote:Mrs_Bait

So that makes you Mr_Bait.

Mr_Bait - Masturbate.

Hmmm...


Marital strife

She will hold no power over you.
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