Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

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Scribonius
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Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by Scribonius » Thu May 09, 2019 3:26 pm

(So you know, picture comes first, then text describing the picture.) It had been a week since the Hobgoblin 5th had been deployed to Lavarenthe. They have received no orders. Instead, they have been sitting around semi-idle, enjoying the peace and quiet of their billet: An open field with a damaged runway, surrounded by trees.
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You'd think they would look happier about some down-time, wouldn't you? Suddenly, the sound of motorcycle engines echoes through the nearby canyons!
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The Scout units have returned, and they're in a big hurry for some reason!
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"Hoy! What's de password?"
"Fuck off, Strengov! You know who we are!"
"Oh, right. Hallo, Lieutenant! How was your mission?"
"I don't have time for that! Where is the Major?!"
Strengov points over his shoulder, and within seconds the Lieutenant is running across the grass. "Major Kezzler! We have an... a... what are you doing?!?"
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"Hallo, Lieutenant! I'm drinking vine an eating cheeze! Vhat's it look like?"
"Sir, you need to get mobilized! We're in huge trouble!"
"Can't."
"What do you mean, can't?"
"Tank's busted! Vhy else would I be drinking vine and eating cheeze? Arty's trying to fix it, but ve had to take it apart down to the base bricks. It needed a complete overhaul..."
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The Lieutenant turned to look, only to find Arty the mechanic and Fizzle, the unit's techno-mage, trying to rebuild their Scorpion-Class Walker tank from the ground up:
"Shit, shit, shit! Boss, we're in huge trouble!"
"Hoh, it can't be all dat bad, can it?"
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Suddenly the sound of marching feet can be heard echoing from the caverns to the West.
"Major, it's the AN - they sent a Peacekeeper force here! They apparently planned to purge our ranks of anyone with orc blood, but something happened and now they're trying to purge everyone in the Hobgoblins! They wiped out most of the 7th! We managed to get away, but one of their outriders saw us leaving!"
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Indeed, an AN Peacekeeper force was emerging from the pass! A squad of soldiers with a heavy and sergeant (blue helmet), one officer, a mage, a mechanic, an outrider on a motorcycle, and a Pirahna-Class Scout Walker! Overwatch:
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"Ho, dat's not good! Looks like dey mean business! Dat scout walker's gonna be an issue!" Major Kezzler sets his bottle of wine on the chair he'd been sitting on and grabs his sword from where he'd left it. "To arms! Ve're under attack!"
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Quickly realizing the trouble they were in, many of the Hobgoblins grab weapons and scramble to their feet!
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An orc with a rocket launcher finds his mark and tries to shoot the AN soldiers behind the bushes... successful hit!
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...and not even cover benefits will save you from a really bad dice roll...
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The result is two AN soldiers blown to bits!
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Unfortunately, these two aren't so lucky with their shooting. Yelkara's machine gun hits, but fails to punch through AN armor.
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AN soldiers move up and open fire.
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A lucky shot from a soldier sets off the spare rockets, blowing launcher, loader, and the pile of rubble they were using for cover to bits.
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Pirahna-Class Walker moves up, just smashing aside any trees and shrubs in its path.
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Zhukov tries to play chicken with the AN Scout biker, but the Scout biker makes an awesome series of rolls and knocks Zhukov to the ground instead!
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As Dryzna runs to her jet-fighter, Zelnik grabs his trident from the bush he'd stashed it in and prepares to make an attack run. Yelaria the sniper takes aim, and...
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Blam! Scratch one Scout biker!
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Shooting from the rest of the Hobgoblins knocks parts off of the Pirahna Walker.
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The AN Sergeant runs a Hobgoblin through with his sword as Yelkara watches.
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Forced to open his canopy to see what is going on, the Pirahna driver (backwards hard hat and all) decapitates another Hobgoblin, but his shooting does nothing to anyone else.
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Zelnik's attack run takes out the AN Sergeant, but AN troopers take out Yelkara before she can hit anyone with her machine gun.
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Dryzna makes it to her jet and begins to taxi down the runway!
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As the rest of the Hobgoblins pour fire into the Pirahna, taking off a few more parts, Fizzle moves up and begins to cast a spell.
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His opposite number among the AN soldiers - Technomage Goldbat - tries to stop it.
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Fizzle gets it off (Goldbat rolled double 1's), but nothing happens. Yet.
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The AN heavy opens fire with his plasma detonator!
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Would that his aim was better. He destroys the table.
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Dryzna takes off - as she rockets down the runway, the AN heavy and one soldier are knocked down, and another AN soldier is decapitated by her jet's wing!
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Fizzle and the Pirahna Walker meet in melee... somehow the techno-mage survives the Pirahna-Walker's attacks! Using the power of the spell he cast earlier, Fizzle jumps up...
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And sticks the landing! A quick swing of his greathammer and the Walker's driver goes down, taking the walker out of action! At that point the AN troops decide enough is enough and flee.
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The aftermath. I have GOT to get more blood splatter bits. This is a pretty gore-free battlefield. It needs more blood...
Hobgoblins Win! ...but lose more than half their number in the attack.
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Major Kezzler: "Hey, look! My wine bottle survive ze fight! Sure you dun want a drink?"
The lieutenant rolls her eyes, but accepts the bottle. "After this I could use one. What are we going to do, Major? The AN apparently wants all of us Hobgoblin units dead!"
"Dat's a good question. Personally, I think ve should strike back! Scrounge up any other Hobgoblin survivors, and take dis planet for ourselves! How's dat for an idea?"
She takes a long drink from the bottle, then hands it back to the Major. "I've heard worse ideas. We're going to need better equipment and some allies though."
"Vell, not the AN, obviously. First tho, ve better find a starship."
"Why a starship?"
"Ve need an inter-stellar communicator. Send coded messages to all de other Hobgoblin units to come here, and ve'll have a proper army!"
"Now you're talking!"

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TheLEGObrick
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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by TheLEGObrick » Sat May 11, 2019 4:52 am

I have no idea what kind of campaign or storyline or something that fight belonged to, but it was pretty cool nevertheless :D

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Falk
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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by Falk » Sat May 11, 2019 9:43 am

I think if you stopped unnecessarily using question marks you would sound a lot less confused.

Also,

Wat?
BrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
Empire of Luchardsko WIP wiki page

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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by stubby » Sat May 11, 2019 9:31 pm

It occurs to me that I could end a lot of headaches just by editing out all the unnecessary punctuation every time TheLEGObrick posts.
Natalya wrote:Wtf is going on in this thread?

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Scribonius
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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by Scribonius » Sun May 12, 2019 9:07 pm

stubby wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 9:31 pm
It occurs to me that I could end a lot of headaches just by editing out all the unnecessary punctuation every time TheLEGObrick posts.
Also, should it worry me that most of the commentary under this battle report has nothing to do with the battle report itself? Obviously this is a direct result of the lack of blood splatter bitz in my battle report. I must rectify this egregious oversight before I post another... :evil:

Which as we all know really just gives me an excuse to buy more bricks... :mrgreen:

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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by TheLEGObrick » Fri May 17, 2019 2:15 pm

Falk wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 9:43 am
I think if you stopped unnecessarily using question marks you would sound a lot less confused.

Also,

Wat?
Yes, I don't use use unnecessary questionmarks, whenever I'm not being confused or unsure of things, which in turn means you've made the false assumption of assuming that I wouldn't actually be confused.

Edit:
Scribonius wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 9:07 pm
stubby wrote:
Sat May 11, 2019 9:31 pm
It occurs to me that I could end a lot of headaches just by editing out all the unnecessary punctuation every time TheLEGObrick posts.
Also, should it worry me that most of the commentary under this battle report has nothing to do with the battle report itself? Obviously this is a direct result of the lack of blood splatter bitz in my battle report. I must rectify this egregious oversight before I post another... :evil:

Which as we all know really just gives me an excuse to buy more bricks... :mrgreen:
I think that's more likely because of my presence here, despite the fact that I'm the only one to actually have put a message actually related to the battle report, so I will apologize for that, and remove my presence from here.

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Falk
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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by Falk » Fri May 17, 2019 2:59 pm

See? Just removing the question mark made you post so much better.
BrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
Empire of Luchardsko WIP wiki page

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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by Scribonius » Sat May 18, 2019 8:23 pm

TheLEGObrick wrote:
Fri May 17, 2019 2:15 pm
Scribonius wrote:
Sun May 12, 2019 9:07 pm
Also, should it worry me that most of the commentary under this battle report has nothing to do with the battle report itself? Obviously this is a direct result of the lack of blood splatter bitz in my battle report. I must rectify this egregious oversight before I post another... :evil:

Which as we all know really just gives me an excuse to buy more bricks... :mrgreen:
I think that's more likely because of my presence here, despite the fact that I'm the only one to actually have put a message actually related to the battle report, so I will apologize for that, and remove my presence from here.
Nope, I'm voting lack of blood splatter bitz. Time to go order some. Back in a while with MOAR BLOODS!!!

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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by AnnoyedZebra » Sun May 19, 2019 7:52 am

fall of the ministry of jorts
Image Image

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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by Scribonius » Sun May 19, 2019 9:41 pm

AnnoyedZebra wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 7:52 am
fall of the ministry of jorts
Magitek Order Justicarus, or more popularly the Menagerie Of Julian because the core of their troops come from the vanquished alien/fantasy tribes on the tech-limited world of Julian (now destroyed).

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Re: Fall of the MoJ: The Kezzler Rebellion

Post by lordintype » Sun May 19, 2019 11:19 pm

Scribonius wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 9:41 pm
AnnoyedZebra wrote:
Sun May 19, 2019 7:52 am
fall of the ministry of jorts
Magitek Order Justicarus, or more popularly the Menagerie Of Julian because the core of their troops come from the vanquished alien/fantasy tribes on the tech-limited world of Julian (now destroyed).
Do they wear jorts?
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