The End

The Magic SOB forum is for posts of story sequences that are frequently vignette-based. Put those here while actual battle reports can go in Reports From the Field.
You must talk like James T. Kirk in this forum at all times. Leonard Nimoy is fine too.

Moderators: Zahru II, Magic Soap, Thesson

Post Reply
User avatar
Theblackdog
Pooplord
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:30 pm
Contact:

The End

Post by Theblackdog » Thu Jul 04, 2019 1:58 pm

Part 1
The battle for New York continues...
Image
"Bloody hell, we're outgunned!"
"The Admiral's ship is hit!"
"Steady, men! Keep calm and carry-"
"The Drake's been destroyed! All ships retreat!"


Image
Admiral Blackdog: "Do you think he can really kill an Immortal?"

Image
Professor Michael Lincolnshire: "It could be. According to the Law of Fudge, there is no such thing as an unbreakable law of the universe."
Admiral Blackdog: "But the Law of Fudge is a law of the universe, so doesn't that contradict itself?"
Lincolnshire: "Better minds than us have wasted their lives on that question. But I will say this: universal laws are incredibly difficult to break. And they have a nasty habit of reasserting themselves just when you think you've found a way. If Bob the Unbuilder really has found a way to kill an Immortal... the Brikverse will exact a heavy price in exchange."

Meanwhile, on the surface...
Image
President Bob the Unbuilder: "TAKE ME TO WARHEAD, YOU SCUM. TAKE ME TO THE BIG ONE."
Immortal Soldier: "Heh... he'll be here... soon..."

Image
Bob: "That's all I needed to hear."

Image
"I guess this is the Antimortallium, huh? Looks weird. Kinda like a-"

Image
Image
Image
"-teleporter."

Image
"Fuck, even dead that bastard is making me jump through hoops. It better be in this thing."

Image
President Austin: "If you're seeing this, then you have followed the path laid out for you, and at last made it to your destination."
Bob: "Shit!"
President Austin: "When I first learned of the Immortals, I felt that their existence was an offense to the order of the BrikVerse. How could this universe ruled by violence and murder permit the existence of beings who cannot die?"
Bob: "Dammit, you are NOT making me listen to some boring concluding speech that summarizes every fucking thing! Just give me the antimortallium!"

Image
Lieutenant Hawkins: "Captain, we have a massive warp signature incoming."
Captain Fury: "That must be what we're waiting for. All hands, stand by to engage."

Image
Lieutenant Hawkins: "Target dropping sublight... now!"

Image
Warhead: "FIRE!"

Image
Lieutenant Hawkins: "A.T. Field stable at 94%."

Image
Captain Fury: "FIRE!"

Image
Lieutenant Hawkins: "Captain, I have signatures leaving the wreckage. Shuttle and pod sized."
Captain Fury: "Launch interceptors."

Image
"You know the plan. Disable the lead ship's engines once it's inside the planet's gravity well. Destroy the rest."

Image
President Austin: "And so I began my research, looking for a substance that could kill the Immortals. For this, I earned the hatred of the Galaxy, and for years my research was totally fruitless."
Bob: "JUST-"

Image
President Austin: "Having exhausted all other leads, I turned in desperation to old battle footage, searching recordings to see if any weapon or technique used in combat had the slightest effect on an Immortal Core. Of course, nothing did. But I found something else, something extraordinary."
Bob: "GIVE IT-"
President Austin: "In countless battles I watched in my laboratory, I saw many great minifigs - heroes, rulers, leaders of nations - die. But sometimes even the mortal Minifigs returned from death, even when there was no logical reason they could. As if they themselves were Immortal."

Image
President Austin: "I analyzed the instances where minifigs were killed in battle and when they did and didn't die. And in the end, I found a pattern."
Bob: "ALREADY-"
President Austin: "Great leaders - important characters in the grand story that is the Brikverse - only died when their deaths would have meaning. When they would alter the destiny of the Brikverse in some meaningful way."

Image
President Austin: "The implications of this are staggering. The truth is that mortality and Immortality are not separate states as we had always assumed, but two different aspects of Plot."
Bob: "YOU FUCKING-"

Image
President Austin: "And so I formulated my final hypothesis. In a minor skirmish that will have little effect on the grand narrative of the Brikverse, even an ordinary minifig can be immortal. And in the most dramatic moments, when the arc of history converges to a climax... perhaps even an Immortal can die."
Bob: "SHIT-"

Image
President Austin: "This is the congealed essence of all the drama that my research and writing on Immortality created throughout the Brikverse. If brought into contact with an Immortal Core, it may cause the Core's ultra-dense plot armor to collapse into a plot hole, which will then remove itself from the universe. In theory, anyway. It is my greatest regret that I will never be able to see the outcome of this, my last experiment."

Image
Bob: "Is this it? Eww."

Image
"Well, I guess I had better go find Warhead."

Image
BOOM

Image
Warhead: "Well, this is pathetic. I could have warned you, Bob the Unbuilder. Everyone who goes in search of Antimortallium... just ends up with their hands full of shit."

Image
Lieutenant Hawkins: "The pod we disabled has hit the surface near the President's position."
Captain Fury: "Focus our main telescope on the site. There's no way I'm missing this."
Lieutenant Hawkins: "Just a moment. We're receiving... some kind of transmission."
Captain Fury: "Dammit, I thought we taught everyone in this sector not to mess with us. What is it?"
Lieutenant Hawkins: "It sounds like... :666:, sir."
Captain Fury: "Let me hear it."
Lieutenant Hawkins: "On speakers now, sir."

Image
Captain Fury: "Oh no."
Last edited by Theblackdog on Thu Jul 04, 2019 2:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
[21:30:33] Scritch: you can put it in theblackdog

Image

User avatar
ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
Posts: 1476
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:04 pm
Location: Now I'm in New York, making bacon pancakes

Re: The End

Post by ninja_bait » Thu Jul 04, 2019 2:29 pm

Oh man this is epic... Well done sir :tiger: looking forward to the next installment
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
sahasrahla
that is a fantastic question to which no satisfactory answer will be forthcoming
Posts: 710
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2017 5:40 pm

Re: The End

Post by sahasrahla » Thu Jul 04, 2019 4:32 pm

yesssssss i lub it

User avatar
Theblackdog
Pooplord
Posts: 2666
Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:30 pm
Contact:

Re: The End

Post by Theblackdog » Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:18 pm

Part 2
Image
Warhead: "You know 'President Austin' was never anything more than a bullshit artist, and a bad one at that? Whatever he's convinced you that piece of shit does, I guarantee you it's a fairy tale. It won't actually kill me."
Bob the Unbuilder: "Yeah? Then why are you here?"
"I just want to show the whole Brikverse what a lying bastard he was. Once and for all."

Image
"Let's show 'em something, then!"

Image
WHAM

Image
"Even if that thing can kill me, you'll have to hit me with it first. And you can't do it."

Image
"FUCK"

Image
"YES"

Image
"I"

Image
"CAN!"

Image
"Heh. This is gonna be fun."

Image

Image
"Oof."

Image
"YAAAAA-"

Image
"-What?"

Image

Image
"Time to see if this thing actually works."

Image
"GET FUCKED!"
"Funny."

Image
"I'M NOT YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT!"

Image
SPLAT
"Shit!"
"Yeah."

Image
"It was."

Meanwhile, in orbit...
Image
"Shit! Incoming!"
"We're hit! Controls are out!"
"Two-by-two help us, I thought it was just a myth-"
"It's headed straight for us! What are we gonna do!?"

Image
Lieutenant Hawkins: "Captain, its vector... it's headed straight for the President's location!"

Image
Captain Fury: "Like hell it is."

Image
Lieutenant Hawkins: "Weapons fire is ineffective! It's just bouncing off!"
Captain Fury: "Focus the A.T. Field in front of the ship! Ramming speed!"
Lieutenant Hawkins: "Yes, sir!"

Image
Lieutenant Hawkins: "A.T. Field is failing. We're taking damage to the hull!"
Captain Fury: "Brace for impact!"

Image

Image

Image
Captain Fury: "Damn it!"
Lieutenant Hawkins: "The ship's finished. We better evacuate before the Core explodes."
Captain Fury: "No! We need to get the President out of there!"
Lieutenant Hawkins: "Sir, there's no way we can make it in time. Besides... if anyone can survive that thing, it's him."
Captain Fury: "Fuck!"

Image
Warhead: "Well, that's a fitting memorial to President Austin's legacy. What are you going to do now that your antimortallium is gone?"
Bob: "Oh, I don't know about that."

Image
"Austin said that an Immortal could be killed if the moment was dramatic enough. And getting revenge on the person who destroyed my world, while the universe falls to pieces around us... what could be more dramatic than that?"

Image
"For the record, I have no idea what my shard did to your homeworld. I bet it was hilarious."

Image
"All right, that's it. You're gonna die, one way or another."
"We'll see about that."

Image

Image
"I'M FUCKIN' IMMORTAL!"

Image

Image

Image
[21:30:33] Scritch: you can put it in theblackdog

Image

Falk
Oh no whatever will we do without the buttplugs
Oh no whatever will we do without the buttplugs
Posts: 1121
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2011 1:43 pm

Re: The End

Post by Falk » Thu Jul 04, 2019 5:28 pm

This is great
BrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
Empire of Luchardsko WIP wiki page

User avatar
ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
Posts: 1476
Joined: Sun Oct 30, 2016 12:04 pm
Location: Now I'm in New York, making bacon pancakes

Re: The End

Post by ninja_bait » Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:15 pm

:shock: that split planet effect is... Just wow...
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
ImageImageImage

User avatar
Kommander Ken
an avid fan of large round cannons
an avid fan of large round cannons
Posts: 2006
Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2012 12:25 am
Location: Getting Brootalized

Re: The End

Post by Kommander Ken » Thu Jul 04, 2019 7:30 pm

Holy shit this is the coolest soap I've seen in awhile. :omnom:

User avatar
sahasrahla
that is a fantastic question to which no satisfactory answer will be forthcoming
Posts: 710
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2017 5:40 pm

Re: The End

Post by sahasrahla » Fri Jul 05, 2019 12:52 am

YESSSSS I LUB IT

User avatar
Quantumsurfer
Thank god for Kool-Aid™
Posts: 2331
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 5:27 pm

Re: The End

Post by Quantumsurfer » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:39 pm

Brilliant.

Post Reply