MoronStudios wasted no time raiding Blitzen's base.
The Bounty Hunter hero still doesn't really feel bad about throwing a sword through this guy's neck
He looks around for some new weapons, but can't decide which would be the coolest
Meanwhile, jifel's medic spends a full turn pulling harpoon's out of the RuiNation demo's lifeless corpse
The soldier with the missing hand casually pops it back in and takes cover behind a rock
Jifel wanted him to then get up and go attack Blitzen, but I determined that that was too many actions for one turn. I decided that the best way to settle this would be with a What-I-Say-Goes roll. I won.
Okay, even I admit that this was a bit excessive, but I'm pretty sure I was baked at the time...
NecroBenny seems dissatisfied with his ol' flame stick
He suddenly remembers that he has the unique ability to convert any gun into a flame thrower! He grabs the dead demo's cannon and rejoices
This noble warrior bravely shoots the unarmed Electrocutioner medic in the head from behind
OneEye's medic is not quite so fortunate as he scoops out the soldier soup with a shovel
The Venture demo gets up and shows OneEye's trooper who's the boss (Tony Danza
, by the way)
So he decides to go back and play with the Flubber he found before
Apparently Flubber doesn't appreciate sitting in a barrel, and it really doesn't appreciate being abandoned. It turns into a large piece of fried chicken!
Looks like the other Venture trooper is in trouble as Killbot 9000 catches up to him!
Even after having both his legs sawed off, this badass soldier chooses to go down fighting. Though not quite hard enough, it would seem. Killbot survives, burply
Back on the other side of the battlefield, this Electrocutioner valiantly rolls back down the hill
And discovers a treasure chest with a remote control! Without hesitation, he pushes every available button
It works, the turbolasers are now online! The less-than-honorable RuiNation soldier dies a less-than-honorable death to the face
Oh yeah, and this guy got up and found himself some kickass swords
Another coin in the catapult produces a special surprise... ZOMBIE LINCOLN
He immediately goes for a ride...
And lands face-first in jifel's graveyard
WHERE HE RESURRECTS! "All parties today appreciated war; but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive; and the others would accept war rather than let it perish..."
While all this is going on, IV's medic hops in the dune buggy singing "Now I have a car, ho ho ho". The OTC trooper hops on the back and together they charge at the Aeronauts
The Orange Transparent Chainsaw
claims its next victim...
With a head making for incredibly metal cannon ammunition, the Nihilist demo makes his way up to the facility
Freddy Nietzsche leaps out of the mine cart and up into the Railgun nest
Where he is attacked by a radioactive spider! What will happen to him? Hopefully it will not be cancerous...
Seeing an opportunity and having had enough of OneEye's injured soldier, Killbot jumps into the minecart and begins riding down the mountain! The pirate skeleton involuntarily comes along for the ride
Pesgores' second dead trooper awakens from his slumber and surveys the battlefield while the increasingly efficient Aeronauts medic heals the heavy trooper. He gazes longingly at the wide-open baseplate before him
His other surviving soldier runs over and blows the shit out of the OTC-wielding Nihilist! Shit just got real...
In keeping with my tradition of accidentally screwing up at least one thing in every battle report, I lost a picture I took of one of pesgores' soldiers re-securing the gattling turret. So here's an equally awesome picture I took of a rollercoaster I went on in Las Vegas last month. (It was on the same memory card)
Send in your turn 5 orders!