1. Who are you?
To wave your finger, you musta been out your head. I am Legend, I once killed a man with a toothbrush, I am almost completely recyclable, I run on chicken parmesan and trinitrotoluene, I'm dynamite, sometimes I make a slight buzzing noise (but this is quite normal), I am wanted in 46/50 states and unwanted in the rest, I am your worst nightmare, I am detective John Kimbel, I run 70hz AC through my body at all times, I exist in the 10th dimension and therefore my qualia is universally applicable, I am Iron Man, I am divisible by zero, I am double spaced, I am nonlinear, I am Jack's medulla oblongata, I defeated Muammar Qadafi in a life-size game of chutes and ladders, I hail from a 500 year old city known as Ouagadougou, I have been where the wild things are and left no survivors, I am the walrus.
2. Do you live with your mom?
I exist in a superposition of states. As soon as I am observed to be living with the FBI, my cult dies.
3. Where do you come from?
I was raised by rare and wild, surfing penguins.
4. What is your quest?
To bash the peons.