2 riflemen aim at brikthulu and kill him for the last time.
They then move up.
The other Assyrian rifleman fires at the lizard.
He kills it. The Brikthulu and Friends Faction is eliminated.
The hero’s mini jet moved closer toward the 2 riflemen, but didn’t get a pic. Also, The medic revived another soldier this turn.
A peach kills a truck driver.
He hijacks that truck too. How many vehicles will the peaches hijack?
Two peaches drag some barrels onto the dump truck and hop on.
A peach takes control of yet another truck.
Achievement Unlocked: Al-Peach-Of!!
Due to the ridiculous amount of vehicles the peaches have hijacked, they are all now terrorists and have a 1d10 bomb on their chests that will explode when they die starting next turn.
The dump truck moves forward and drives onto the dead squid’s body.
The two in the back throw the explosives canisters onto the Assyrians.
...damaging the hero’s mini-flyer and killing the 2 riflemen.
The hero is pissed and does a heroic feat...
...using both of her weapons to kill the 2 soldiers in the back and programming the mini-flyer to crash straight into the driver.
The trucks move up towards the key.
The interviewed peach yells “My wife is DEAAAAAAAAAD!” and kicks the reporter away, disrupting but not killing her.
Seeing the truck driver die, the last soldier charges at the peaches with bloody murder in his eyes. Next turn he’s going to have a party with those peaches.
Captain: Lieutenant, check the radar for any threats up above...
Lieutenant: There are many big objects on appearing on the radar ma’am. They look a lot bigger than the space stations we have up there.
Captain: Alright, I guess we can...
From: Brittannian Frigate Constellation
Captain: Brittannians? I though those morons were on the other side of the galaxy. Hmmph, lieutenant, send them a reply. We would like to alliance.
Captain: Now we are in orbit with the space station and fighter wing. But, WTF, how, well, why is this planet being attacked like this??? All those enemy spaceships...
Part II of Relation-SHIP Problems: The Brikspace Battle!
THE ALLIANCE BETWEEN THE ASSYRIANS AND BRITTANNIANS IS BROKEN. THEY MUST ATTACK EACH OTHER NOW
Space Battle Overview:
Nyphilian Space Forces include a space station, the SHIP, and 10 fighters.
Assyrian Space Forces include a Venus-class destroyer and 2 bombers.
Brittannian Space Forces includes a destroyer, a bomber, and 8 fighters.
(I know that black is not one of the Brittannian’s colors. I just did that to help me distinguish between the Nyphilian and brittannian fighters)
My knowledge of brikspace is very limited, so there will be no fancy-ancy rules in play, and any parts of orders that involve such will most likely fail catastrophically on my part.
Nobody may ally with the Assyrians, (sorry Nat, but that big-arse cruiser almost seems unfair), but the Brittannians may ally with the Nyphilians. In the unlikely event that they team up and destroy the Assyrians, the alliance is broken and they start killing each other again. The alliance may be broken at any time by me, moron, or Ross. And before I forget, the ground battle is still going on.
Assyrian Commander: The point here was to complete our objectives and leave, not to make “your mom” jokes!
Brittannian Commander: Our objectives are completely different, we can work together!
Assyrian Commander: Futile try at reconciling our relationship problems. Say, where did you learn all those stupid, vapid mom jokes? Warhead?
Brittannian Commander: Uhhh,
Assyrian Commander: Ha, you immortal traitor! Die at my hands, now you blood-sucking b*stard!
Brittannian Commander: Our official stance is neutral, and we are friendly with both sides. You know that, don’t you? Besides, your little crush Natalya isn’t going to be pleased if you force her nation to war with us.
Assyrian Commander: Don’t you know that Wikileaks fabricates all the documents it throws out? Besides, that website also leaked confidential diplomatic cables detailing a secret alliance between the Brittannians and the Immortals too, if that website is to be trusted. I am offended by your jokes. You know, a long time ago my mom was snuggled by that stupid Warhead of the Immortals! I order you to submit an apology!
Brittannian Commander: Don’t be a booty bothered, can’t you take a...
Assyrian Commander: That’s it, imma firingz ma lazorz at joo n00bz!
Brittannian Commander: Not if I do it first...
Assyrian Commander: I was the main advocate for the Assyrian’s anti-immortal stance, you know that! When I come back to Assyria, I will rally all to my cause and invade your weakening, sickly, stupid empire!
Brittannian Commander: ...
Assyrian Commander: I may only be a lieutenant-colonel, but I have lots of connections with the power centers in the Assyrian army. I can and will organize an attack on you idiots! Hahaha, yes, Assyria never loses, your proud Brittannia shall be only a...
Assyrian Commander: Ah well, I guess...
Assyrian Radar Operator: Incoming!!!!!!!
A Brittannian bomber charges at the mighty cruiser itself.
Extremely lucky for the bomber, the single missile set off a massive chain reaction (aka massive bonus dice) in the engines, causing a whopping 62 damage, burning the entire back end, most of the engines, and 2 turrets off the cruiser. That one cruiser just created a mini-debris field.
The fighters target the Assyrian bombers.
The bombers are destroyed, crippling the Assyrian forces at this point. Kind of ridiculous, some well-placed Warhead wisecracks on a booty bothered, emotionally sensitive officer resulted in such destruction.
The Assyrian cruiser fires full force at the Brittannians, destroying the bomber and 3 fighters.
The Nyphilian fighters group together to form a spearhead in front of the precious SHIP.
From now on, the Assyrian, Nyphilian, and Brittannian space forces are separate factions, but controlled by the same player. The space battle will be placed after the completed ground battle turn in the battle reports, this turn was just a special one-time placement. Order of initiative is Brittannians, Assyrians, and then Nyphilians.
The n00b miner hero does a heroic feat (fix shuttle), and all surviving miners get onboard.
Miner hero: I found the trail of the SHIP on the radar, let’s follow them!
The shuttle enters the Brikspace battle. You’ll see its location on the map in the final overviews. The n00b miners now also get a separate space faction like the other 3.
Channel 4 Paparazzi Action News Team
They can’t do anything cool until the remaining reporter can get up.
Tyronians: Objective Achieved; Terminated
N00b Miners: Objective Achieved
Channel 4 Paparazzi Action News Team:
Uncovered Scandals: 3
Brikthulu and Friends: Terminated
Tentacle snuggled: 15
Nyphilian Space Force:
Assyrian Space Force:
Brittannian Space Force:
SEND IN YOUR ORDERS NOW!!!