Crack-Cola Company
| Distinctions: | Fortune 666, Dow Jones |
| CEO: | Muter Kent |
| Country: | United Systems Alliance |
| Website: | www.crack-cola.co.us |
| ▼ NYSE: KO | 40.66 -0.09 (-0.22%) |
"Open happyness."
The Crack-Cola Company is an international beverage corporation that manufactures, sells, and markets non-alcholic drinks, concentrates, and syrups throughout the BrikVerse. It is best known for its Crack-Cola soda, a carbonated drink invented in G.R. 1886 and packaged in a distinctive glass bottle. The success of Crack-Cola is mostly due to the addictive cocaine added to the drink which keeps customers coming back for more. The Crack-Cola Company is proud to say that many of its customers never abandon the brand once they get a taste.
The Crack-Cola Company is a fierce competitor with PopsiCo, which produces the rival drug-free soda Popsi-Cola. In response to the USA's Drug Enforcement Agency cracking down on Crack-Cola's shipments of crack, the company partnered with the Space Mafia to secure a reliable supply of the key ingredient. Many have criticized the company for its deceptive marketing and underhanded retention methods. Michelle Obama especially spearheaded an effort to get the sugary, drug-laden drink out of schools, a move Crack-Cola resisted heavily.
The Crack-Cola Company tried to change the formula for Crack-Cola to New Coke, but the move failed miserably - Crack-Cola immediately reverted to its original recipe. It also started producing Diet Coke, a soft drink with less sugar and no cocaine when compared to normal Crack-Cola.
| Key Financials | (Amount) | (% change) |
| Revenues: | $46.9 trillion | -2.4% |
| Profits: | $8.58 billion | -4.8% |
| Total Assets: | $90.1 trillion | |
| Total Shareholder Equity: | $33.2 trillion | |
| Market Value: | $170.3 trillion |
