Goldman Sucks

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Distinctions: Fortune 666, Dow Jones
CEO: Dr. Kirisaki
Country: Meritocratic Republic of Trattoria
TRX: GS 252.71 +4.65 (1.87%)

"The bank that rules the galaxy."

The Goldman Sucks Group is a multinational financial company, and is one of the largest investment banks in the Nehellenium Galaxy and its satellites. Catering primarily to institutional clients like large corporations and countries, GS provides investment banking, asset management, securities, and mergers & acquisitions, and other financial services. Although a public corporation, the firm is still led by a group of about 300 meritocratically-selected Partners.

Founded in G.R. 1869, Goldman Sucks has an illustrious history with many executives moving on to lead the BrikVerse’s financial sectors, including the USA Secretary of the Treasury, the Trattorian Chief Comptroller, and the Governor of the Bank of Britannia, a trend that earned it its nickname of "the bank that rules the galaxy". An internal cult-like culture of loyalty to the firm and secrecy prevails, with an emphasis on absolute meritocracy - GS employs minifigs from across the galaxy, turning a blind eye to their origins or eccentricities so long as they make money for the firm.

Average minifigs across the galaxy primarily know Goldman Sucks as one of the most evil corporations in the BrikVerse. They deny loans, pillage savings and pensions, bankrupt entire countries with sovereign debt, and crack open companies like financial pirates. It also works with dictatorial, minifig-rights-violating regimes, fixes commodity prices, and engages in regular insider trading with a corrupt culture that rivals the Space Mafia. Many of the non-Trattorian bankers in the New York and New London offices regularly hold stripper and cocaine/RbT parties.

Although it successfully beat the 2004 BrikVerse Financial Krisis and managed to continue making money through the period, GS successfully lobbied and raided governments ranging from the USA, Trattoria, and Britannia for bailout money anyway. Afterwards, it gave out trillions in bonuses to its top executives using that taxpayer money, resulting in some of its top officials making more than some entire small star empires. To this day it regularly lobbies legislatures across the galaxy to repeal financial regulations and for further favorable treatment. Although not technically sovereign, practically speaking Goldman Sucks' power is such that it can not be controlled by or answers to any galactic government, even its country of incorporation Trattoria.

Key Financials (Amount) (% change)
Revenues: ₮38.0 trillion 2.2%
Profits: ₮5.90 trillion 28.2%
Total Assets: ₮1.27 quadrillion
Total Shareholder Equity: ₮84.1 trillion
Market Value: ₮101.7 trillion
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