Meritocratic Republic of Trattoria

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Meritocratic Republic of Trattoria
Tek Level 7
200 systems, 3 extra-galactic colony systems
None listed
Allied Nations

Anti-Pwny Alliance

Anti-Immortal Alliance



Immortal Empire

Third Alliance

Notable People
see Trattorian Characters

The Meritocratic Republic of Trattoria, or more tersely known as the Trattorian Empire, is a large empire spanning 200 systems and has the ability to conduct inter-galactic voyages. In fact, 3 systems lie outside this galaxy and supply the attinium needed to make the inter-galactic voyages possible and economical. It also has a huge economy relative to its size, being the second-largest in the brikverse by GDP, and also the most highly advanced science and research communities in the galaxy. The government is officially a democracy, with a unicameral legislature, a president and lower executives, and a court system. The only difference is the elusive fourth branch, a council of 5 scientists, that seems to have absolute power yet no power, with many theories on what it actually does. It is best not discussed with Trattorians in polite company. Recently, with the overthrow of the government by Intelligence Director Siri, it has been replaced with an absolute kaiserdom. This was mysteriously reversed in the first days of G.R. 2014, allowing Trattoria to revert to its old system of government and elect President Kuroki.

Trattorians have demonstrated technological prowess in its military forces, having built SHIPs and SHDTs, along with other classified black-ops projects and more mundane upgrades to the rest of the military. The technological sophistication of the army is considered impressive by most, and while it does seem to suffer a smaller infantry force than most other nearby empires, it makes up for that with a large amount of vehicles and an extensive navy that puts nearby ones to shame.


A sample of some of the units in the Trattorian Army in G.R. 2011.


A Trattorian Athenia-class dreadnought, with a Midgetman-class frigate to scale.


History of Trattoria

The history of the empire is relatively uninteresting and unchanging. Many philosophize and wonder why they are there, and who dropped them there. According to one theory, they in fact are the survivors of an escape ship from a large 5-galaxy dominion that fought a long and bloody war of 500 years against another galaxies-spanning dominion led by a man with a flaming skull. Whether the Trattorians’ mother empire won or lost is unknown, but at the time of the launching of the escape ships, the galaxies were in a horrible condition and the dominion was crumbling and burning. The fleet of massive ships were ambushed and only one escaped, albeit slightly damaged. Few actually believe the theory because its source, a history textbook, states such impossible things as an undead who can live forever and had his head constantly on fire, among other things.

Regardless, the Trattorians know as solid fact that they were space-dropped onto a habitable planet at the fringe of this galaxy, along with blueprints for war-machines as well as resources. They began building, and within a year, launched a spaceship into the next system. The colonization has been unstoppable since then, until it stopped at 150 systems due to security concerns. The last five systems colonized, the farthest away, demonstrated these problems as they broke away to form the Paladins against the Peaches.

The Trattorians later pieced together the fate of the colony ship that dropped them. In fact, it zoomed towards the opposite fringe of the galaxy, where it self-destructed over a seemingly barren planet so as to prevent the discovery of inter-galactic travel and hopefully ensure that they would never meet the Flaming Skull and his terrible army again. Alas, the self-destruct mechanism was damaged by the Flaming Skull’s ships as it attempted to leave the extra-galactic war, and so a couple war machine blueprints and a bar of shiny silver metal survived, propelled into the territory of a now-obliterated empire, Nyphilis...

The silver bar, known by its name of antimortallium, survived the immortal invasion somehow and ended up in Trattoria, where the government immediately discovered neutrinas, and soon after, inter-galactic ships, much to the displeasure of Trattoria’s long-dead forefathers...

Recently, an intelligence director by the name of Siri overthrew the government of Trattoria and established herself as the infallible Kaiser of Trattoria. She has done a complete 180 of all of Trattoria's policies, making Trattoria a member of the Third Alliance. She has established for herself the position of foreign relations and intelligence in the Third Alliance.

Siri was recently assassinated, reverting Trattoria to its old democratic government.

Politics of Trattoria

Trattoria has become a major player in galactic politics. Currently, it is anti-immortal, anti-Peach (but not genocidal) and a major backer of the Allied Nations.

At the onset of the AN-TA War, Trattoria took an active role in the Allied Nations. During an engagement with the Third Alliance the Trattorians were forced to fire on a Scythian Emperor-class battleship, ruining their relations. Additionally, with Siri's new government Trattoria has joined the Third Alliance. Rumors abound of rebel elements within Trattoria, though.

After the assassination of Kaiserin Siri and the overthrow of her government, the new President Kuroki has returned Trattoria to its old partners the Anti-Immortal Alliance and the Neu-AN.

Although politicians and diplomats are prominent in Trattorian society, the real power rests with the scientists. Prioritizing economic growth over military strength, the scientists have attained a near extra-legal status though their role in shifting the LRAS and increasing the GDP through research and development. At the forefront of the galactic scientific community, the science department of Trattoria has produced such wonders as perfect miracle-cures, galaxy-destroying neutrina bombs, a complete physical Theory of Everything, and deadly chlorine-trifluoride throwers among countless other innovations.

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The Council of Scientists

Culture of Trattoria

Trattoria highly values intelligence and academic prowess, believing intellectual acuity to be the key to its prosperity. Consequently, Trattorian citizenship requires a Ph. D. that satisfies national education standards, which is most easily achieved through attending a Trattorian university (which are consistently ranked among the highest in the brikverse, paid for entirely by the government for prospective citizens). After completing such rigorous training, a Trattorian citizen is then entitled to a near-utopian lifestyle free of crime, poverty, sickness, hunger, etc. with a usual median salary of around six to seven figures. Combined with heavy underpopulation, plentiful resources, and Level 7 Tek, the Allied Nations consistently ranks Trattoria as having one of the highest qualities of life in the brikverse.

In exchange, Trattoria lacks or bans many activities that other countries in the brikverse take for granted. There is no sex, no marriage, no drugs (except for RbT, which has by now been quashed), no metal music, etc., a lifestyle which minifigs outside of Trattoria believe is abhorrent. Reproduction is conducted artificially, with heavy genetic engineering geared towards maximizing intelligence, and marriage is replaced by an 18-year legal contract to raise a child, often assigned via lottery.

Like many other great nations in the brikverse, Trattoria's prosperity is built upon the backs of slaves. Or in this case, prospective citizens who failed academically and therefore forfeited their right to citizenship. Those incapable of following Trattoria's rigorous curriculum are usually assigned as conscripts in the military, or even as scientific test subjects in more egregious cases. This attitude extends towards the rest of the brikverse as well, with the phrase "unenlightened imbeciles" commonly used to refer to foreigners.

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Life in Trattoria is good, as long as you're on the right side of the scalpel.

Paladins against the Peaches

Please refer to Paladins against the Peaches.

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