Lesson One: We used to be the number one high school in teh USA before a bunch of texas ruffians pushed us off.
Lesson Two: Taking AP Calculus BC is totally cooler than hooking up with someone- you're considered cooler the earlier you take it. AP Computer Science is better than sex.
Lesson Three: After taking AP Biology and AP Chemistry, one is eligible to take a college-level course named "Orgy" Chemistry.
Lesson Four: There are weird fellow students stalking me even though I'm two years younger. Strange.
colette's Biology Teacher:
Quotes: "My sex life is none of your business, and neither is yours. Hopefully."
"And when you're 50 years old and have to take your digital prostate exam, you'll think of me."
"*stuff about prostate exams*...and then you feel violated."
"Biology is all about sex and violence, which is over sex."
colette's Chemistry Teacher:
Testimonial from student: "I learned about sigfigs in chemistry class today. The teacher even told us about a kid who made an improvised flamethrower in his class 31 years ago. He also said up until a few years ago he would randomly light tables on fire during labs to test the students' ability to use a fire extinguisher. He's even going to get a cat eyeball and dump it in acid for teh lulz and warn us to wear safety goggles all the time. Last class he told us about tracing phone calls, hiding a dead body, and hot wiring a car. There's a reason why he's called the best chemistry teacher."
Quotes: "You probably don't want to spill this chemical, because its name has the word cyanide in it."