Metric Unit of Manliness
|Emperor Piltogg (SigFig)|
|Akkadian Empire of Ultra-Badassery|
|Hope's Last Stand||Forum Battle||Silverdream as Piltogg / Akkadians (victors)||Forum Thread|
|Quest of Piltogg||Battle Reports||Quest of Piltogg||Piltogg as himself and Akkadians (victors)||Forum Thread|
|Krysto||Forum Battle||Quest of Piltogg||Silverdream and Aoffan as Piltogg and Akkadians (victors)||Forum Thread|
|Battle for the Head Separator||Forum Battle||Quest of Piltogg||Piltogg as himself and Akkadians (victors)||Forum Thread|
The Paladin of Purity
Self-portrait of Piltogg, self-appointed Paladin of Purity. Piltogg's inability to get into art school is often cited as a primary source of his frustration.
Piltogg gets bored a lot and then does stupid things without thinking about the consequences. Most observers agree that this is awesome, with some exceptions - notably Blitzen, thanks to his predilection horrendous spelling and grammar. He has a strong distaste for anything not yellow and pure, and leads genocidal campaigns against the NegaVerse and Peach forces.
Piltogg claims that he is the Paladin of Purity, and was once the third-highest-ranking prophet of the Great Builder. (His job was to rid the universe of all things that the Great Builder had created but no longer wanted around.) However, he turned against his former master after the Bayounikal Revolution, as it showed him that half of all the Great Builder's MOCs were built with POOP, just like in the NegaVerse. He took it upon himself to destroy the Great Builder, so that all of his creations could be destroyed. After completing the destruction of the Great Creator's silly idea of a BrikVerse, Piltogg planned to reshape it in his own refined image so that his eternal labor would end and minifigs would be at peace with all their fellow minifigs just like the Great Creator had originally intended.
The Artifax of Pre-Creation
Piltogg and twins, from Warhead's Warriors, Entry Four
He was eventually able to confront the Nega-BlokTrix herself, and their battle lasted four months. On the 121st day of the battle, the Nega-BlokTrix surrendered her mightiest weapon so that her race might be saved from extinction. That is how Piltogg gained the Sword of Inhuman Strength, the first of The Nine Artifax of Pre-Creation. With it, he gets a +1 bonus to all rolls he makes for every living thing that he has slain, although even its power doesn't protect him from the occasional Critical Failure. Now, after years of slaughter, all his rolls are so great that even when he is hit by a car (a very common death among minifigs), he escapes unscathed and the car is obliterated.
With the power of the Sword, Piltogg became a fast-rising Hero of the Akkadian Empire of Ultra-Badassery, and was eventually crowned Emperor. Of course, power corrupts, and Piltogg's desire to undo the Great Builder's work had never lessened. He became obsessed with gathering all nine of the Artifax, and in R. 2,010 he embarked on a massive quest to collect them all, becoming the very best like no one ever was. This became known as the Quest of Piltogg, and is currently ongoing.
Allies and Enemies
An Akkadian Kommand Squad, lead by Piltogg
Following his rise to power in Akkadia, he also began accepting bribes the DarkTron anonymocracy, who wanted to use his powers for evil (obviously). Piltogg had no problems with this alliance because the DarkTrons also wished to promote universal domination.
Piltogg has gathered several significant allies on his Quest, including the Akkadian hero Vas Kallas. Moronstudios, Lord Von Krus, and Ross Varn also joined his party following a cowardly ambush by two Noobs, Brik-Hed and the Man in the Top Hat, but he also gained an additional enemy in the deadly sniper Cpl. Halan.
During the battle for the Hammer of Discipline, Piltogg used an inspirational speech to gain the personal allegiance of all soldiers in the VladTron Empire, although not that of Lord VladTron himself, who was reported to be less than pleased about this development.
|Inhabitants of the Universe|