War of the Work METAL

From BrikWars
Jump to: navigation, search

"Seriously. Do we really need to have music blaring at full blast every time we load or re-load a page on this domain?

I was sitting at work, minding my own business when I decided to check out the latest here at Brikwars, when suddenly the METAL started blaring out of the speakers. As it filled the room with rifts and strums and drums and distorted hums, my coworkers became very upset with me. They demanded that I turn the METAL down, but it was too awesome and I couldn't do it. That's when things turned ugly. My friend Derek, who never gets upset at me, picked up his chair and attempted to smash it over my head while screaming, "THE METAL IS TOO MUCH AND I MUST OBEY!" He missed and broke his chair. Our boss heard the crash and the METAL and came out of his most illustrious office to see what all the racket was about. As the METAL resonated throughout his ears, he became incensed, lifted his big, bulging hand to me and shouted, "You're fired!!! This is no place for your METAL shenanigans!" I lost my temper, cranked the METAL to an extraordinary new level of volume and aimed a speaker at him. A Dm chord (D as in Death) played and struck his body with a fury that Odin All-Father himself would have been proud to see. The chord vibrated throughout his body until it just couldn't take it anymore. The ripping began at his finger tips and spread until his skin completely peeled off, leaving a bloodied mess of organs, muscles and pain. You see, I work as a substitute teacher when I can't get a camera gig, so as you can imagine, the students did not like seeing this. One of them stood upon his desk, revealed a flag under his coat and rallied the others to his cause. It may have been the tequila, but I'm pretty sure the METAL had driven them mad. Using the finest marble that was available, they began to construct an artifice that would free them from the shackles of unchecked capitalism in our modern society. A few measures later, they absorbed the darkness that is the METAL and brought the artifice to life. The living statue, imbued with the hatred and malice of the METAL, turned on it's masters, took those closest to it in it's stony hands, and began to tear them apart. Body parts flying at me made it difficult to contend, with my once good friend Derek, who insisted that I perish under the blade of his mighty battle axe. Blow upon blow fell on me until my shield broke. I was just about to accept my fate when all of a sudden there appeared my father's father's sword in my hand. His ghost appeared to me and said the two words that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

"For Frodo."

With renewed energy and strength, I repelled my friends attack and altered the matter under his feet to become a water fall. He fell to his watery death and was never heard from since. The students were all ripped to pieces and all the while the METAL filled their souls.

Now I'm facing multiple counts of inciting a riot, disturbing the peace, indecent exposure, homicide, manslaughter, treason and trespassing. That's why the music should stop playing on this site." From the great warrior hero Semaj Nagirrac.

Personal tools
Namespaces

Variants
Actions
Navigation
Toolbox