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This is an MS Paint CYOA. I'll pick the choice randomly, unless there's one I think is really awesome.

HELLO.

YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN FOR AN ADVENTURE.

PLEASE INPUT NAME.

Shaquille O'Neal

Timothy Thompson the Third

Buttiflex Maximus

Ass Dan

Chu Sir Ona Venture

INTERESTING.

SO YOU ARE NAMED SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.

INPUT YOUR RACE, SPECIES AND GENDER INTO THE WORD MATRIX.

RACE: Baller

SPECIES: Human

GENDER: Male

Race: space jam
Species: space jam
Gender: space jam

Race: Butthead
Species: Dawg
Gender: Red

INTERESTING. SO YOU ARE A SPACE JAM, SHAQUILLE O'NEAL.

YOU WEAR A TIGHT GLASS JAR AROUND YOUR AMORPHOUS BODY, AND YOUR MOVEMENT IS DETERMINED BY TWO MECHANICAL LEGS YOU CAN CONTROL VIA A TELEPATHIC BOND. TO DECORATE YOUR JAR AND TO KEEP MODESTY, YOU ALSO KEEP A UNIQUE LABEL.

AS A SPACE JAM, YOU HAVE MANY ABILITIES USEFUL FOR ADVENTURING. SUCH AS:

• NO NEED TO BREATH

• THE ABILITY TO TAKE ANY FORM YOU DESIRE

• THE ABILITY TO DIGEST NEARLY ANYTHING

YOU ALSO HAVE WEAKNESSES.

• INSATIABLE HUNGER

• ENEMY OF THE SPACE BREADERATION

• LACK OF STYLE

NOW YOU ARE ALMOST READY TO GO ON ADVENTURE. ALL YOU NEED NOW IS A TRAGIC BACKSTORY. INPUT TRAGIC BACKSTORY.

Tragic Back Story:

For many years I took the form of a pro basketball player.
One day out on the basketball court I slipped on a slice of bread and hurt my BACK.
I told this STORY to the general manager, but because I told it so bad...
I lost my job due to a TRAGIC BACK STORY.
And now I am an adventurer... like you.

You are mighty warrior Shaquille O'Neal, champion of the lost jam people. You have survived countless Food Wars and continue to defend the innocent from the ruthless Toast Empire.

Your greatest highlight was during the Bacon Invasion of '83 where you sropped the bacon leader, General Pork, into a frying pan in front of his whole army and then proceeded to smash right through said army with nothing but your spreading knife and pure rage.

A while ago, during one of your rampages through Oliveland (damn round bastards) your village was attacked by an unknown enemy (it was probably the Toastians) and the entirety of the jam populace has gone missing.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find your people and beat the living shit out of anyone who gets in your way.

Jam on, my friend.

Zupponn wrote:You are mighty warrior Shaquille O'Neal, champion of the lost jam people. You have survived countless Food Wars and continue to defend the innocent from the ruthless Toast Empire.

Your greatest highlight was during the Bacon Invasion of '83 where you sropped the bacon leader, General Pork, into a frying pan in front of his whole army and then proceeded to smash right through said army with nothing but your spreading knife and pure rage.

A while ago, during one of your rampages through Oliveland (damn round bastards) your village was attacked by an unknown enemy (it was probably the Toastians) and the entirety of the jam populace has gone missing.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find your people and beat the living shit out of anyone who gets in your way.

Jam on, my friend.

INTERESTING.



YOU ARE IN LAVENDER SKIES REFUELING DEPOT. BEFORE YOU STAND TWO SHIPS, AND TWO CAPTAINS. YOU ARE A FREE JAM. WHAT WILL YOU DO?

Lure a captin to a private setting, kill him, and use your jam morphing powers to take his shape. Steal said captain's ship.