Things are getting way more crazy than I ever expected. And I´m totally not obsessed with the food dimension.
wwfd crew
The WWFD crew continues to beat the crap out of the foodcritters, dismembering them into salable sizes!
apple demons
The green apple demon wants to hijack the armored truck to run over some people.
Apple demon (green): "Get your ass off the driver seat, you headless hobo."
He pushes the remains of a military in the rack.
Unfortnulately, he am not aware that Money Co. has security lock in their truck. As he tries to start engine...
...he turn into solid gold! (feat. critfail)
some rich guy and money co.
The last remnaing soldier takes advantage of situation. He want to drive the armored car himself to run over other people.
He throws out the solid gold apple demon statue. *BONK* He starts the engine.
And while reverse driving, he hit the other apple demon with the car´s side. The demon is sent flying.
The demon is lucky to grab on the edge of the lava trench. He not totally drowns. Phew!
suddnely, an attorney enters the battlefield. "Hey, Some Rich Guy! My man!"
Some rich guy: "Well blow me down! If that isn´t Saul Corningstone III !"
Saul Corningstone III: "Alive and kickin´. Georgy told me there are some legal matters to settle. So, here I am."
Some rich guy: "Why the delay? I´ve talked to George nearly a whole Turn ago?"
Saul Corningstone III: "Well, let´s just say, Lunch at Keaton´s holdings didn´t quite go as expected... Lost some clients, and split with my partner - well, more like: Partner got split. Long story..."
Saul Corningstone III: "But I´m not here for the smalltalk." And he yells to the lawyers at the hilltop: "I´ll be with you in a minute, gentlemen, and we will find a satisfactory solution for these dispute."
menders of construction
Agent Barrow: "Man, this is getting out of hand quickly. We´ll need radical measures to deal with this mess. BOCKSY Drone! Code "JANITOR", now!"
BOCKSY Drone Mk1: *affirmative. Sending code signal on all known frequencies*
MEANWHILE
Deep in the Brikverse, a big broom is floating in space.
It is the StarDuster, trusty ship of Stubby, the janitor! He just receives the signal from the Menders of Construction.
Stubby the janitor: "Well, seems it´s time for a close clean-up!"
He fires up the engines - made of the purest OT - and heads to the source of the signal!
He lands his ship nearby and says to the MoC: "It must be serious if even you can´t handle the mess alone. Well, here I am. Let´s get this place decluttered!" (feat. crit success! Stubby the janitor is now a hero unit of the MoC)
a man... and amanda
Amanda is hungry. She has not eaten in her whole life. She longs for food.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals on the battlefield. He said to the woman, “Yo, Amanda! Have some apple then. Right ´ere on da tree! Yummy!"
When Amanda saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to the A man, who was with her, and he ate it.
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were freakin´ stone golems on a crazy-ass frey, so they looked at each other and said: "Geez, I am certain that this will not incur someone´s wrath."
a mysterious hand
Suddnley, a strange looking hand comes from the sky, pointing at Amanda.
A voice: "How dare you to pick apples from that tree! I´m building all day long to put some insane story to this crappy spambot post, and you´ve got nothing better to do than to disassemble things?"
Amanda: “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
The voice speaks to the serpent: "Well, well, well, Steve. This was the last time I let you loiter around the battlefield unsupervised. I told you what happens if you misbehave once more...!"
Steve the serpent: "Oh, Ssssssh-"
*SNIKT!* "--iiiiiiiiiiit!"
A voice: "Now to you two! So, you're hungry, huh? Are you? ARE YOU?" Well, good news for you! You can have food as much as you want! And where is that food? Can you guess? HUH?"
The hand rises and the fridgeportal begins to glow heavily. It then start to suck in all that is near.
A voice: "There ya go! Stuff your bellies! ALL OF YOU! And have fun over there, in THE FOOD DIMENSION!"
The hand then dissapear, and evil laughter is hear, slowly dying away.
The fridge now sucks in everyone on the battlefield! The Menders of Construction are next...
...follow by the lawyers...
...and there faxmachine.
Bonegnawer, DeMom and the last Appledemon are next.
As well as all the bird and the still burning tree.
The remaining Money Co. Soldier, too.
The apple warden is sucked in, too! He loses grip on the box of apples, which fall down to the dust.
Apple warden: "Nooo! My apples! I swore to protect you! I must fulfill my oath!"
But he still is suck.
Finally, the some nice foodmech is suck into his own creation, too! The curse of the mysterious hand does know no mercy.
The hand of the mech shortly pokes out of the fridge before the door closes. Then there is silence.
A bright, white, frosty place. Somewhere. The silence is suddelny disturbed by incoming screams and sound of people falling.
*KER-BONK!* With much ado, all the creatures that were suck into the fridgeportal are spit into this white world.
Stubby the janitor is the first to realize what have has happen.
Stubby the janitor: "So, this is it, the mystical, often rumoured..."
"...FOOD DIMENSION."
The food dimension is a weird place. All kinds of food, sentient food and food-related creatures gather here.
Food is literally everywhere, and it is never going out. As soon as something vanishes, something new appears.
The inhabiants are neutral, as long as they´re not attacked, or their food is steal. If food is unpossessed it can be take, but if someone already has it, it should not be try to be taken from them.
If asked for food, they maybe give it, maybe not. Vendors always give food if they are given money or something other valuable.
The food dimension has many things to be seen, and many secrets to be found. Some are good, some are bad.
The inhabitants can be helpful maybe, if they are talked to?
...and there are MANY inhabitants here. There´s also Fruitbatman. He often comes here, because he is fruit.
The Children of Dew have found a never-ebbing source of Dew here, and they fill their barrels to bring them away.
In the drink district, one can get all kinds of cocktail, juice and booze. There´s also a giant beer pool to satisfy the thirst!
Weird foodcritters are omnipresent, but they do no harm if they are not harmed themselves.
Short said: It´s a paradise full of food sources and all kinds of useful stuff.
After they all have recovered from the ungentle journey, the factions find themselves at different locations of the food dimension:
Some rich guy, Saul Corningstone III, Money Co. soldier:
[New objectives: defeat the lawyers (by force or paperwork), find ways to make more money]
A flock of birds, a
[New objectives: extinguish the fire, find a way out of the food dimension]
Apple warden:
[New objectives: find a way out of the food dimension (to get to the apples), find more apples to protect]
Menders of Construction, Stubby the janitor:
[New objectives: find a way out of the food dimension, clean up all the mess]
A man and Amanda:
[New objective: 'Cursed is the ground because of you, through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life']
Bonegnawer and DeMom:
[New objectives: Kill everyone, because this dimension sucks and needs to be taken out of existence!]
Apple demon (last one left):
[New objective: Feast on the apples, let nothing come between you and your apples]
WWFD Crew:
[New objectives: collect ALL THE FOOD and get it out of the food dimension to monetize it]
A bunch of lawyers:
[New objectives: Repair broken Fax Machine, then sue the hell out of everyone. This is all an infringement of hygiene regulations!]
The skeleton mumbles some spells to make ghostbutler and the ghosts find him.
*poof!* They sudden are appear!
Ghostbutler: "What have happened? We tried to rise lava to the ground and now we here?"
[New objectives: find a way out of the food dimension, or scare the inhabitants to death]
Some nice foodmech:
[New objective: Summon the Liegelord of all foodcritters, kill everyone - they deserve it]
And already, the giant loaf of bread appears to mumble in a deep voice...
"Whooo daaares to bring so much disturbance heeere?"
end of turn five
final view
Note: All new objectives are optional. Feel free to explore this new dimension at own will!
