[RK26] Loot-a-Palooza Finale

[bertinator]

Turn 2 - Skion

Elyana and her troops shift their full focus to Bertinator, following the stunt he pulled last turn. The PartyBattleBus driver tries to run him over, but deals no damage.




"Seeing all these brave Skion troopers fallen… it saddens me," Elyana says in a deep, heavy voice. "And for what? They could have been protecting our beautiful homeworld instead. What good is loot if no Skion citizens remain to behold and cherish it? No—Skion itself is what requires protection!" she continues, her voice rising almost to a scream, before her gaze falls upon the demon heart clutched in her hand.
"This demonic heart, taken from the Guardian of Hell… it understands my grief. This dreadful fear of losing the one thing you hold most dear."




"For Skion!" she cries as she swallows the dark heart, pulsing with red energy, in a single motion.




The immense power of the heart casts her into darkness.



Reborn as Guardian Hellyana, she readies her glaive and speaks in a terrible voice,

"You cling to ideals while Skion bleeds. I did what was necessary. Stand in my way, and you will fall with the rest."



Hellyana fails her heroik attempt to draw power from only the dead skion troopers - the blood magik consumes two live ones as well.

"Your sacrifice will not be forgotten. As for you, Bertinator..."



"DIE NOW!"

KZAAAAAA!!!




"I'll be back!" shouts Bertinator...



... as he's sent on a one-way trip to Bloody Hell.




Hellyana has one trooper and the PartyBattleBus remaining - they advance on the battlefield to defend Skion some more.

[bertinator]

Turn 2 - Studlanders

"Oi, that forcefield last turn, did that come from you?"
"Indeeeeeed, my master. I protect all those who carry me as their burden."
"Do you mind taking out these SpaceCops for me, then? I'm kinda stuck in close combat with them."



The dwarven Studlander doesn't wait around to hear the orb's answer - he guns down the SpaceCops officer.

"Attaaaackk - I can not. Disengage, you must, and I will protect you as you retreat."



An so the Studlander disengages. Unfortunately the orbs' protective d10 fails miserable, and the Studlander is slain at the hands of Kit Blister.

"Booo-hoooooo....."




Meanwhile, two studlanders open fire at the damages IMA trike, destroying it.




The Studlanders IFV opens fire with its' machine gun turret. Two shots miss their target, but a Skion trooper is killed by the third.




The driver then puts the pedal to the metal and prepares to run Hellyana over.




The driver of the PartyBattleBus proves an amazing redshirt - he pushes his hero out of harms way...




... at great cost.




From the IFV disembark 4 Studland melee troopers.




The SpaceCop driving their guncart is swiftly slain, but a second is spared as the Studlanders get their weapons tangled up mid-strike.




The Studland heavy, wielding the OTC looted from Hell, moves to engage the Calpis dooters.



An intense fight for life and death ensues-

RRAAAAKK! ZAAAUM! VRRRR-SKRRRAAACK!




Ms. Heavy stands victorious.

"Hey, I might be able to put these bones to good use" exclaims the Studland mechanik enthousiastically.
"I'm not touchig that pile with a ten-inch pole." scoffs Lucivyr.




The Studland mechanik gets to work right away with a construktion action.




Huzzah! A mighty sword, forged from OTC and pure Calpis Calci(c)um.

[bertinator]

Turn 2 - MadMario's Mercs

The crew of the trike gun down one of their Studland attackers.




Three grunts ready their weapons to dispose of mage Nervyr.




But with a supernatural flick of his hand, their weapons turn to dust.




Three of the cursed entities are able to break their spell and perform an attack - red devil, green armyman and the sheep charge at nervyr.




Magevyr puts up an elemental barrier to keep them at bay.




But it shatters! The mage is forced to bail out of the way, to the safety of the bar.



He soars through the skies!

"Ohhh how wonderfull it is, to spend die after die of supernatural..."



"dice."

SCHPLRRUNCH




Nervyr dies again, swatted like a magikal mosquito by the Cyborks' massive hands.




Outside the Boulder, MadMario deals with the Iriorian who damaged his bike.




He instructs his mercs to strap the sheep to the fighter jet.




Powering it with the DreamSpeeders' outlet, he sends the high-speed offering flying towards the Cybork.




It barely misses the brute! (feat failed)




The ritual sacrifice crashes into the heavily damaged SpaceCops mecha...




... destroying it completely.




...

End of Turn 2 Overview

[bertinator]

Post-Turn 2 - Reinforcements

More clankers arrive. They've brought Bragallot latest invention from the workshop - ROBOT HAMSTER!

As I got up today I finally realized what I wanted. A ROBOT HAMSTER. Think about it. The hamster may run in its wheel, generating energy, but the hamster will eventually get tired and stop running. It may also stop to eat or take a nap. You're trading energy for energy. A robot hamster on the other hand, does not get tired, does not sleep or eat and can keep running forever. By obtaining a robot hamster, I will have created Infinite Energy!

The SpaceCops receive reinforcements from the SpaceFireFighters! They're not afraid of anything, not even the fires of hell! So they went back to Vomarsks' place and brought with them and back to life... Officer Spongelove Craftpants!.




Skion reinforcements arrive just in time! They're accompanied by Skulls Mackenzie, adventurer of the first hour. The squad has helped him search for his signature weapon, the RaveGlaive, but with no success as of yet.




With their hero dead, the Studlanders realize that evacuating as much loot as possible makes the most sense at this point. The spend their budget on movement inches, hurrying towards the edge of the battlefield.




They make it out, carrying two noteworthy loot items - the protective orb, and the BoneswOTC



Reinforcements arrive for the I.M.A. as well.

No more mercenaries this time though - the Menders Of Construktion, who sponsor MadMarios' efforts this campaign, have sent on of their own delegations to ensure max profit.




Lastly, the splattered body of mage Nervyr starts to bubble and glow...




He's revived, again!



...

Pre-Turn 3 Overview

[bertinator]

Turn 3 - SpaceCops

The mecha pilot channels her inner Sgt. Al Powell and screams into her radio.

"They're turning my mech into Swiss cheese! I need backup assistance now!... NOW, GODDAMMIT, NOW!"




Dasher instructs his grunts to seize the Studland guncart and regroup at the other side of the portal.



The two SpaceCops in his squad who have their hands free dispose of a clanker.

"Kit, take my portaling device. Lead our firefighting brothers into the Boulder - I'll get the droid."




The guncart moves into position, and one of the SpaceFirefighter squads advances in attack formation behind the hovercar.



"LIGHT EM' UP BOYZ!!"




The squad is wildy ineffective at engaging the clankers. Two miss their shots, one deals zero damage, and the last two brought the wrong supersoakers.




The guncart is slightly more effective, taking out one clanker but missing two others. The last laser bolt ricochets off of Cleet-o-bots armor.



Under the cover of their fire, Dasher gets down on the ground, sniper rifle at the ready.

"You won't run away from me this time, clanker."



He fires a shot underneath the hovercar, right at AstroMikes legs!

"OW!!"



The droids' legs are surprisingly unscathed.

"GAHHH, that was low, even for you, Dasher! You hadn't thought I'd take extensive anti-kneecapping measures when I heard we'd run into you lot of brutal brigadiers!? These legs will outlast even the worst you Uncivil Prosecutors can throw at it!"




At the other front, the SpaceFirefighters work in unison to lift the mechs giant blaster into the air.

"Officer SpongeLove, you're up!"
"I... uh... me!?"




"Little to the left... more to the right... up! up! up!"
Together they take aim at the Cybork.



KER-BLAMMM!

With their combined efforts, the SpaceFirefighters are able to take a huge shot at the Cybork, who deploys another forcefield. Its defence holds, but takes a big chunk out of this turns Supernatural dice pool.




The Hammers of Justice then advance into melee range while their two ranged reserves try their luck with their puny blasters.



KA-BANG-BANG!

And they won't regret it! Catching the Cybork completely by surprise, their 2d6 damage roll far exceeds the 2d10 armor roll. The brootal wishes he hadn't been so cocky and deployed at least some supernatural defences, as one of three points of Size Damage is chipped away.




And then the hammer falls! The four SpaceCops batter down on the Cybork, who deploys its' Deflect-o-Mat from the waist to parry the incoming attacks.




The Cybork then farts in the general direction of the SpaceCops melee troopers to disperse them.



Fire Chief Odin McLoud steps up. He wields an infamous weapon: a rocket launcher gifted to the SpaceCops by Speedrunner Coincident after their adventure in Hell.



SWOOOSSHHH BADA-BOOOOMM!

Naturally, McLoud shoots the rocket right into the Cyborks face, but is unable to overcome its defences.




To conclude the SpaceCops turn, Kit Blister admires his new portalgun, and decides to put it to good use. He steps into the hovercar portal...




... and appears inside the bar! Immediately he fires the portalgun, to create another exit.



He uses it to warp to the other end of the bar, and... to chugg an entire can of RT Maniak Beer in seconds.

Then it's into the portal again, and...




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!




KRRRASH-VZZZ!!!!!




The defensive RT force field shatters from the blast, breaking apart into a number of supernatural minifigure accessories.

[bertinator]

Turn 3 - Nervyr

Dr. Nerv performs a quick medical analyis of the Cybork.

"Great muscle buildup, strong heartbeat, amazing reflexes. But it's missing a brain altogether.

Conclusion: dead.

My advice - You gotta die a lot to live a little"




Dr. Nerv shows that he takes good care of his own physique as well as his patients - he lifts the brootal into the air.




"Spontaneous brootal combustion (SBC) is NOT pseudoscientific!!!"




YEET!!!




The cybork crashes through the wall and hits the PartyBattleBus. It lives, but is Disrupted and on fire.



Dr. Nerv then takes a look at his arm because he felt a little tingle.

"Fascinating. An acute mutation that mimics the supernatural physiology of the original specimen. That means... I'm the real deal now."




Dr. Nerv picks up the broken pieces of his beloved android C4N-D and makes her whole again.



He regroups with his squad.

"Ahh golly sir, we thought we lost you. Again. And again. And again, sir. And here you are, sir, even putting C4N-D back together, how splendid, golly, sir!"
"Yeah yeah, keep your blood pressure down, good lad. Let's take cover behind the bar."




Nerv, the Iriorian, C4N-D and their Immortal friend prepare response actions for the rest of the turn.

[bertinator]

Turn 3 - Ze Clankers

Bragallot sprints across the bar as soon he lays eyes on the RT minifigure gear.




He channels his inner superhero - the White Wizard Sarufig - and summons his battlefield commander to his location.




"Do you know how ze Brootalz first came into being? They were coffee once, taken by ze dark powers. Tortured and mutilated, put back into ze ground..."



Cleet-o-Bot lets out a mechanical growl.

"... a ruined and undrinkable form of life. But now, by ze vill of ze programmer... perfected: my fighting Clankers."



"Whom do you zerve?"
"Brag-a-lot"

"Hunt it down! Every last coffeebean carries something of great walue. Bring zem to me, in a machine, and unspoiled. Kill ze others!"




Under immense mechanical screeching and whirring, the Clankers storm into the bar. Nervs' troopers open fire in response, but to no effect.




Clanker MG-1 sprays the dudes behind the bar with autofire.




C4N-D takes a shot to the head and is taken out - again.




More shots whizz through the bar as the clankers blast the defending grunts until they're both dead.



Nerv is then backed into a corner by two melee droids.

"And so, we begin. Again. Man, versus machine, as has always been my fate."




The first droid leaps and stabs Dr. Nerv in the neck. In response, Nerv demolishes the droid with his OTC.




A quick syringe from the pile of supernatural supplies helps Nerv recover before the next droid attacks.



ShieldBlokBot critfails its attack roll... so it drops its shields.

"Uh- Oh."




WHRRAAAM!!!



At this point, the Bar Manager takes the coffee machine from the shelf.

"Uhhh, excuse me. Have you considered just handing over the coffee machine to Mr. Brag? I mean, if a customer wants to..."
"Absolutely not, you put that back, woman!"




It's too late - Roger Roger has his scopes on the prize.



KER-KRASSHHHH

ROBOT HAMSTER propels itself through the last remaining windows and into the Boulder.




With infinite elektricity at its disposal, robot hamster works some magnetism shenanigans to fire a tractor beam.




It lifts the coffee machine out of the hands of the bar manager and into the air.



*squeak squeak*

Bragallot is presented with a smoking hot, fresh brew.



"ZUM WOHL!!!"

Ze Clankers crank the volume up to 180 to celebrate that their overlord can finally drink his morning coffee and start the day.

[bertinator]

Turn 3 - AstroMike and the brain

AstroMock heads over to MadMario to annoy him.

"beep boop. CLICK HERE! Your dreamspeeder has a virus!"
"I, uhh, oh, well... If one of Bragallots clankers says so, it's probably true..."



MadMario takes the bait, and...

beep boop! HoT SiNgLeS iN YouR AREA Are DyiNG To MEeT YoU!!!
"... fuck!"




MadMario is knocked off his ride by the lady in her undies.
AstroMock steals the DreamSpeeder and heads off. (feat success)




With AstroMock approaching on their getaway vehicle, AstroMike deploys a firewall, 6d6 strong, to keep the firefighters and cops busy.

[bertinator]

Turn 3 - Skion

Guardian Hellyana adresses her troops -
"Warriors of Skion! A vile creature roams these lands. We must fight! Fight! Fight! Tooth and nail, blaster and knife, to keep our beloved Skion, glorious homeworld, safe! We shall..."



Skulls Mackenzie interrupts her.

"Brik almighty! Blaster and knife, fer fucks sakes. The PartyBattleBus is right there, missy! I'll show ya. And do you mind if I take a stroopwaffel?"




"Ayy-hop! I've been waiting for this, you wouldn't believe."



Skulls gets behind the wheel of the PartyBattleBus and begins to turn it around.

"Hi there. Ye're my copilot today. See that red button over there? Press it when I tell ya. Get ready to shred some ork!"
"I... uhh... this one?"
"Now! Do it now!"




The button swings open the backdoor of the bus, revealing an immense speaker array. Intense dance music begins to blast at full volume, sending the Skion troopers into the rave of their lives.



"You wanted me to turn on the music?"
"HARR HARR HARR!"
"..."
"Just messing with ya, young lady. Press the green button."



"EAT SHIT IN HELL YOU BROOTAL BASTARD!"

VRAAAUM-KRRRACK!!!!



The cybork is minced into tiny blocks of brootal meat, leaving only its biomechanical hardware somewhat intact.
"How did you pull that off? The use rating on that thing has got to be insane."
"It's called Disruption, sweetheart. Look it up - gets you a nice, clean automatic hit."




"Didn't I tell ya the PartyBattleBus was the tool fer the job!? Now buckle up, we got incoming!"




Skulls changes the music to a more ominous background track as the Skion troopers take on defensive positions - the I.M.A. approaches.

[bertinator]

Turn 3 - MadMario

The newly arrived Menders of Construction take out their powertools, brikblasters, blueprints, and coffee, and get to work on rebuilding the destroyed trike.




They reshape the rubble into a modern day siege weapon!




The I.M.A. troops approach the foreman to inquire about the build.
"This is the M.O.C. patented SiegeTowerTrike!"
"But... it provides zero cover! Nothing! Nada!"
"We'll get shot to bits if we board that thing - how does this help us in battle!?"
"That is for you warboys to figure out! Hah!"



MadMario swiftly wraps up his conversation with the fine lady.
"Apologies, miss. My... talents are required elsewhere."




He hurries to his troops, carrying the corpse of the keycapped I.M.A. grunt on his shoulder.




"This'll solve the problems with the SiegeTowerTrike, foreman." he offers.
"I've never seen a brick like this. What is it? Is it even brick? Does it construct?"
"Press it."




The foreman presses the F11 key, and the SiegeTowerTrike transforms from windowed mode into fullscreen mode!




All I.M.A. grunts swarm aboard their awe-inspiring siege-tower trike and thunder into battle upon it, a colossal war-engine carrying them straight into the heart of Hellyana’s full and fearsome might.




As soon as the troops enter the killzone, a dizzying amount of gunfire is exchanged between them. 3 Skion troopers and 2 I.M.A. grunts are killed as a result.




At the same time, the I.M.A. Killkopter unloads its autogun on the Skion troopers below.




Two more skion troopers are killed, as their buddies return fire, their bullets barely making a scratch.




Hellyana draws power from all fallen Skion troopers and sends a terrifying beam of magik energy at the heli.
The killkopters' armor roll is simply outstanding, resulting in only a single point of Size Damage taken.




In her insatiable rage, Hellyana leaps from atop the PartyBattleBus and swings her glaive at the armored vehicle that mocked her.




Unfortunately, she fails her heroik feat roll and falls flat on her face.



...

End of Turn 3 Overview

[bertinator]

Turn 4 - SpaceCops

The two dudes who forgot their blasters decide to roast some marshmallows in the firewall.




Three of their buddies then aim their airtanks at the flames. One of the campers takes out his knife...




*whoosh!* The sudden blast of air spreads the fire towards its arsonist.




But not quite far enough! AstroMike can feel the heat, but remains on the safe side of the firewall.




Inside the bar, the firefighter commander shoots a rocket at RobotHamster. Its' armor holds.




The 3 hammerers then attack, dealing 1 Size Damage and toppling the big droid, exposing the weaker underside.




Two SpaceCop grunts unload their blasters on the machine, dealing another point of Size Damage. One remains. RobotHamster is heavily damaged but remains operational.



"Times running out, chaps!" then shouts Kit Blister across the bar. "Grab some lootables and hurry back!"

The two grunts comply.



They join the loot-exodus back to SpaceCop HQ.

"Kit, glad you're back. Help me get that droid - I have a plan. But..."
"What?"
"You''ll have to toss me."




Yeeting his hero into the air is right up Kit Blisters' alley.




Dasher uses his sniper feat to double portal on AstroMikes position.




BA-ZAPP-ZAPP "WOAHHH!!"



"AAAAAAAHHH!!"
"AAAAAAAHHH!!"

One portal opens up directly below the brain and one directly above, trapping AstroMike and the brain in a rapidly accelerating fall between them. (feat success)




"Yo fireguys, we've found some loot and caught the bad guy. Time to leave! Let's go, double time!"
"You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Hmmm."




"Alright madlads, one final shot! Let's give 'em hell before we hit the road. Heave! Take aim!"
"Wait what"




Officer SpongeLove has the privilege to pull the giant trigger one last time. The SpaceFirefighters almost blow a big hole in the PartyBattleBus - the shot is slightly off and destroys a speaker.




"Amazing, HAHAHA! Let's go! RUN!"
"Wait up motherfuckers!"

[bertinator]

Turn 4 - Nervyr

"Bragallot, you festering cyst of a minifigure! Your clankers are a cancer and that koffee addiction is going to be the death of us. Especially of you, because here's a diagnosis - you've got a bad heart and doubling down on the kaffeine will kill you. Leave now, or meet your maker."
"I am not zkared of no dokzer."



Dr. Nerv pounces forward with his OTC.

"HUAAHHH!!"
"HUAAHHH!!!!"




Brag is unreasonably spooked by the sight of Dr. Nerv swinging his heroik weapon, and spills his koffee over a droid.




Another clanker redshirts the attack, pushing Bragallot out of the way of lethal damage.




Brag hands the koffee machine to Cleet-o-bot and whips out his wand. "Open fi-ah!" he commands his clankers. Three shots are fired at Dr. Nerv, who deflects with a supernatural shield.




"Brag, you know what they say, an apple a day..."




"... GETS YOU THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!"




Bragallot decides to rely on his supernatural RT armor and shield to deflect the incoming apple.




But that's a gross miscalculation as the damage roll far exceeds his defences - Brag is killed in the most brutally healthy way!

[bertinator]

Turn 4 - Clankers

"The terms were clear, clankers. Vacate this bar immediately, and take that dirty coffee machine with you."




Ze Clankers comply and begin to make their way off the battlefield, void of any remaining objectives nor heroik inspiration.

[bertinator]

Turn 4 - AstroMike and The Brain

AstroMock heads over to his plummeting commanders, awaiting instructions.

"aaaAAaAaaAAaAAA.... AstroMock! Finally we have infinite energyyyyyy aaaAAAaaaAAAAaaA, but regardless..."
"This. Situation. Is. Hopeless."
"Exactly. Save yourseeeeeaaaAAaAaaAAaAAAaaalf!"




AstroMock nods and turns around the dream speeder, leaving the battlefield alongside the clankers.

[bertinator]

Turn 4 - Skion

First thing the Skion troopers do is load the PartyBattleBus full of loot. They grab the IM pistol, two stroopwaffels, the cyborks' blaster-arm and a chunk of its meat.




Three of them then open fire on the I.M.A. Killkopter, dealing 1 Size Damage.




Three others fire at the fast approaching SiegeTowerTrike. They deal 2 Size Damage, blasting apart a big windowed section.




Hellyana gets up and raises her glaive at the Killkopter.




She fires a nuklear warhead at it.




But... HOLY SHIT! An amazing piloting maneuver, and perhaps the 'incoming missile' alarm, allows the Killkopter to dodge the projectile.



"Target in sight."
Hellyana realizes she fucked up. (feat failed)




The Killkopter, now having made a full 180, fires a missile in response to Hellyanas hostilities.




It launches her into the air...




... and straight into the puddle of calpis.