Assault on Goatse Bunker
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RagnarokRose
- u a MILLION wus and only then shall you become the MISTRESS
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Absolutely. Just kill off your five original troops, and your four backups will arrive at your original spawn point.MasterEcabob wrote:If this is pretty much over then would it be possible for the rest of us alive to call on our four backup troops? It would make the inevitable dash for the edge way more interesting and has the potential to add more corpses, which always looks good in the final overview.
(I don't actually have nine of all of the troop types on the table, so I need the originals dead for recycling.)
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Bragallot
- MULTIPLE, SIMULTANEOUS AND DEVASTATING DEFENSIVE DEEP STRIKES!!!
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It's freakin' maniac beer! Of course everyone would abort their current plans for it and send troops...
Remember their space-faring cousins. Wasn't it bad enough already to have the immortals after you? 
I would be the first to know, but I'm not gonna spoil it : )RunsWithLegos wrote:what do you think the rest of the Falx are doing?
Declaration of war spotted!Ross_Varn wrote:Getting their asses kicked by the superweapon my FELC work crew was taking a lunch break from building?
That sounds about right.
Remember their space-faring cousins. Wasn't it bad enough already to have the immortals after you? 
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RagnarokRose
- u a MILLION wus and only then shall you become the MISTRESS
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The How Do I Shot Web Men are making off with the Beer!
Thanks to the Crazy Horse killing the gunner he was fighting, the Akkadian at the gun turret is free to run over and take the HDISW Man down. They wrestle briefly over the keg, but in the end the Akkadian is victorious and the HDISW Man takes a dive in the lava pit.
AKKADIANS HAVE THE BEER
"Go long!" The burnt Akkadian takes a break from axing the last gunner robot to line up for a catch.
Too late! The Mandalorks grab the gun turret and turn it on the Akkadian who abandoned it. He's torn to pieces. Shots hit the beer and the HDISW Man at the other turret as well, but they survive.
AKKADIANS NO LONGER HAVE THE BEER
The Shitgoats and Vol continue battling, but it looks like the Shitgoats are getting the upper hand. Another Vol takes a bath in the lava.
The burnt Brikian jumps up out of the lava to dunk the Matey who shoved him in. Despite a penalty for being on fire, he succeeds. The Matey and his brick form useable stepping stones across the lava, so the other Brikians quickly run up to cross. For one of them, this means trying to Withdraw from Close Combat with the Necromancers, and the dice go against him. He's chopped into tiny pieces.
The wigged final Matey sees his chance, and uses his fallen companion as a stepping-stone as well. All's fair when there's Maniac Beer on the line.
Resourceful Peach Raiders are resourceful. With all the decapitated corpses lying around, they each arm themselves with a head.
They use their heads to beat a Boy Scout to death.
The Naked DSMs want that bridge! They run forward shoving Necromancers out of the way. One is successfully shoved, but lands safely on the crust. Lucky for him, it doesn't break.
The Necromancers see that the Beer is on the move and begin to panic. "Mateys! Brikians! Join forces with us or -"
Too late, another Necromancer loses his shit. "Game over man! It's game over! The fuck are we gonna do now? What are we going to do??"
The Necromancers are demoralized and start killing everyone they see. Amazingly, every single one of their attack rolls hits. Blades and decapitated heads come down in desperate swings, putting an end to the last gunner and all of the remaining Naked DSMs.
GUNNERS ELIMINATED
NAKED DSMS ELIMINATED
Sir Pablo's Men run straight into the fray. One Necromancer goes flying, but luckily lands right on the Naked DSM he just shoved in himself, and so escapes the lava. The armed Pablo's Man manages to cut down one of the Necromancers, as if the Peesaber is taking revenge for the Naked DSMs.
The Blurans jump the Tanaris, knocking one into the lava even as their own leader falls through the crust. Another Bluran picks up his sword, but gets shoved back out onto the crust by the Tanaris he attacks. The other Tanaris fights with the two FELCs, but no one manages to hit and the FELCs begin falling back further onto the fingers.
The FELC on the burnt horse skeleton is frustrated with the ineffective Ewoks. "Fucking Ewoks! You didn't do us any good at all!" He betrays the alliance to backstab C3P0. He doesn't have a weapon, but 4d6 Inevitable Betrayal dice are enough to make up for the difficulty of picking up Greedo's headless corpse and beating C3P0 to death with it.
EWOKS ELIMINATED
He takes C3P0's sword and chucks the corpses.
The FELC manning his machine gun turret abandons it to take a ridiculous leap across the lava pit. He makes it! Barely! But still an inch away from reaching the Beer.
Behind him, the Old Dudes are yammering on about the bridge they built on the dead ewok.
Old Paper Salesman: "Is this Ewok head capable of bearing our load?"
Old Engineer: ":twss:"
Cresting the island, they discover the Beer is gone!
Old Paper Salesman: "They killed the buffet!"
Old Engineer: "You bastards!"
Old Paper Salesman: "We could have got some, it's our fault for not coming sooner."
Old Engineer: ":twss:"
The Big Boob Girls are angry at the Steampunk Engineers. "Ditch us, will you!" A hairbrush to the face and an Engineer goes down.
The last Crazy Horse is crazy. It runs past the Beer, past the HDISW Men, and down to the lava to carry out its secret plan.
Step 1: Drink a bunch of lava.
Unfortunately, the Crazy Horse doesn't survive step one.
CRAZY HORSES ELIMINATED
The last Brittanian grabs the last stick of dynamite to throw at the HDISW Men.
Perimeter breach!!!
The relatively weak explosion kills the Brittanian but fails to accomplish much else.
BRITANNIANS ELIMINATED
The Old Paper Salesman takes the dead Brittanian's knife as a Response Action.
The Vikings abandon their gun turret to make a run for the Beer, but they're not quite able to reach it either. Another Viking climbing up behind them claims the gun turret again.
The Yodas, McNinjas, and regular Ninjas continue their bridgework towards the island. The last Ninja in line cuts down the bridge behind them.
The UNDF spot the Blue DSMs building a bridge across the lava and decide to interfere. Beating one of them with a severed UNDF torso isn't very effective, but another one gets shoved into the lava. He survives, but is set on fire and burnt into a Black DSM.
The Cosplayers and Jesuses run out from under cover to cause some mayhem. A Cosplayer grabs the nightstick from the Space Mall Cop sinking in the lava, and uses it to beat down one of the rearward FALX. She gives the FALX's saber to her knife-wielding compatriot, but she fails to kill the other FALX with it.
Meanwhile, the Jesuses band together to Shove the tank trap and a couple more Space Mall Cops in the lava. "Matthew 21:12-13!" they explain.
The FALX on the bridge respond by chucking their bricks at the Cosplayers, knocking one over but doing no real harm. The FALX on shore swings his brick at the Cosplayer attacking him, but she easily parries it.
That's it for that round, if you didn't move this time it means I didn't get orders from you. Here's the overview of the center island:
Ready for next round!
Thanks to the Crazy Horse killing the gunner he was fighting, the Akkadian at the gun turret is free to run over and take the HDISW Man down. They wrestle briefly over the keg, but in the end the Akkadian is victorious and the HDISW Man takes a dive in the lava pit.
AKKADIANS HAVE THE BEER
"Go long!" The burnt Akkadian takes a break from axing the last gunner robot to line up for a catch.
Too late! The Mandalorks grab the gun turret and turn it on the Akkadian who abandoned it. He's torn to pieces. Shots hit the beer and the HDISW Man at the other turret as well, but they survive.
AKKADIANS NO LONGER HAVE THE BEER
The Shitgoats and Vol continue battling, but it looks like the Shitgoats are getting the upper hand. Another Vol takes a bath in the lava.
The burnt Brikian jumps up out of the lava to dunk the Matey who shoved him in. Despite a penalty for being on fire, he succeeds. The Matey and his brick form useable stepping stones across the lava, so the other Brikians quickly run up to cross. For one of them, this means trying to Withdraw from Close Combat with the Necromancers, and the dice go against him. He's chopped into tiny pieces.
The wigged final Matey sees his chance, and uses his fallen companion as a stepping-stone as well. All's fair when there's Maniac Beer on the line.
Resourceful Peach Raiders are resourceful. With all the decapitated corpses lying around, they each arm themselves with a head.
They use their heads to beat a Boy Scout to death.
The Naked DSMs want that bridge! They run forward shoving Necromancers out of the way. One is successfully shoved, but lands safely on the crust. Lucky for him, it doesn't break.
The Necromancers see that the Beer is on the move and begin to panic. "Mateys! Brikians! Join forces with us or -"
Too late, another Necromancer loses his shit. "Game over man! It's game over! The fuck are we gonna do now? What are we going to do??"
The Necromancers are demoralized and start killing everyone they see. Amazingly, every single one of their attack rolls hits. Blades and decapitated heads come down in desperate swings, putting an end to the last gunner and all of the remaining Naked DSMs.
GUNNERS ELIMINATED
NAKED DSMS ELIMINATED
Sir Pablo's Men run straight into the fray. One Necromancer goes flying, but luckily lands right on the Naked DSM he just shoved in himself, and so escapes the lava. The armed Pablo's Man manages to cut down one of the Necromancers, as if the Peesaber is taking revenge for the Naked DSMs.
The Blurans jump the Tanaris, knocking one into the lava even as their own leader falls through the crust. Another Bluran picks up his sword, but gets shoved back out onto the crust by the Tanaris he attacks. The other Tanaris fights with the two FELCs, but no one manages to hit and the FELCs begin falling back further onto the fingers.
The FELC on the burnt horse skeleton is frustrated with the ineffective Ewoks. "Fucking Ewoks! You didn't do us any good at all!" He betrays the alliance to backstab C3P0. He doesn't have a weapon, but 4d6 Inevitable Betrayal dice are enough to make up for the difficulty of picking up Greedo's headless corpse and beating C3P0 to death with it.
EWOKS ELIMINATED
He takes C3P0's sword and chucks the corpses.
The FELC manning his machine gun turret abandons it to take a ridiculous leap across the lava pit. He makes it! Barely! But still an inch away from reaching the Beer.
Behind him, the Old Dudes are yammering on about the bridge they built on the dead ewok.
Old Paper Salesman: "Is this Ewok head capable of bearing our load?"
Old Engineer: ":twss:"
Cresting the island, they discover the Beer is gone!
Old Paper Salesman: "They killed the buffet!"
Old Engineer: "You bastards!"
Old Paper Salesman: "We could have got some, it's our fault for not coming sooner."
Old Engineer: ":twss:"
The Big Boob Girls are angry at the Steampunk Engineers. "Ditch us, will you!" A hairbrush to the face and an Engineer goes down.
The last Crazy Horse is crazy. It runs past the Beer, past the HDISW Men, and down to the lava to carry out its secret plan.
Step 1: Drink a bunch of lava.
Unfortunately, the Crazy Horse doesn't survive step one.
CRAZY HORSES ELIMINATED
The last Brittanian grabs the last stick of dynamite to throw at the HDISW Men.
Perimeter breach!!!
The relatively weak explosion kills the Brittanian but fails to accomplish much else.
BRITANNIANS ELIMINATED
The Old Paper Salesman takes the dead Brittanian's knife as a Response Action.
The Vikings abandon their gun turret to make a run for the Beer, but they're not quite able to reach it either. Another Viking climbing up behind them claims the gun turret again.
The Yodas, McNinjas, and regular Ninjas continue their bridgework towards the island. The last Ninja in line cuts down the bridge behind them.
The UNDF spot the Blue DSMs building a bridge across the lava and decide to interfere. Beating one of them with a severed UNDF torso isn't very effective, but another one gets shoved into the lava. He survives, but is set on fire and burnt into a Black DSM.
The Cosplayers and Jesuses run out from under cover to cause some mayhem. A Cosplayer grabs the nightstick from the Space Mall Cop sinking in the lava, and uses it to beat down one of the rearward FALX. She gives the FALX's saber to her knife-wielding compatriot, but she fails to kill the other FALX with it.
Meanwhile, the Jesuses band together to Shove the tank trap and a couple more Space Mall Cops in the lava. "Matthew 21:12-13!" they explain.
The FALX on the bridge respond by chucking their bricks at the Cosplayers, knocking one over but doing no real harm. The FALX on shore swings his brick at the Cosplayer attacking him, but she easily parries it.
That's it for that round, if you didn't move this time it means I didn't get orders from you. Here's the overview of the center island:
Ready for next round!
Yep. The Akkadian shoved one into the pit this turn, you've got two left. One's at the machine gun, where he just survived getting shot in the face, and the other is just standing around to his right. They didn't do anything this time around because they didn't have any rders.aoffan23 wrote:Didn't I have 3 HDISWM left? Maybe not, I've lost track.
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Cpt. Zipps
- Mega Blok
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RagnarokRose
- u a MILLION wus and only then shall you become the MISTRESS
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ikensall
- Princess Cauliflower
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Oh well atleast my engineer holds a world record,
The first person to be decapitated by a hairbrush(I think).
The first person to be decapitated by a hairbrush(I think).
My Stuff:- http://www.brikwars.com/forums/viewtopi ... 62#p237262
- http://www.brikwars.com/forums/viewtopi ... 17&t=11297
It says it's a railgun.
- http://www.brikwars.com/forums/viewtopi ... 17&t=11297
It says it's a railgun.
I tried to follow them, but they rolled a lot of ones this time around and none of their efforts succeeded. When the Vol's turn rolled around, the Shitgoats had already moved into spots where you couldn't use your Angry Inch to improve your position.Tuefish wrote:It kinda seems like you glazed over the Vol turn there. did you receive my orders?