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(Previously: Analytic Continuation)

Commercium system, Meritocratic Republic of Trattoria


Commercium is the outermost star system in Trattorian space. Almost all trade passes through here and is screened for hazards and customs compliance.




Ensign: Dr. Desroches, I bear urgent news!
Stratego Dr. Desroches: Not right now, can you not see that I am occupied?


Ensign: With all due respect honorable doctor, but are you doing math again? Should you not be commanding our fleets-


*thwack*
Stratego Desroches: How dare you question me, non-Ph.D. uneducated scum? It is not your place to dispute my pursuit of rarefied intellectual pursuits. It is precisely these mathematical and scientific inquiries that prove my superiority to rabble like you.


Ensign: I understand, honorable doctor. However, our scanners detect a large group of vessels inbound to Commercium. Does this not raise concern?


Stratego Desroches: Check the instruments again, it must be a mistake. Trattoria controls the fate of galaxies and universes, no enemy in our history has ever reached the impudence requisite to invade our home territories. Such an insensate move would ensure their total annihilation, in any case.

"All ships, please proceed through the scanners in orderly queues. Oversized vessels please divert for manual inspection."




Suddenly, an Immortal fleet warps into the system, including 9 battleship-class vessels.


Accountant: It's hot drop o'clock!
Mentat Arima: All Immortal ships, prepare for immediate engagement with Trattorian forces.
Accountant: Thank you for your assistance, Mentat. I'll show Sting who the Immortals truly need!


Stratego Desroches: What the entropy? Why didn't you inform me of this earlier, ensign?
Ensign: ...
Stratego Desroches: Erect an immediate no-fly zone over Commercium. Nothing gets in or out of the system until this situation is resolved.


Overview.

Trattorians: Dilanski

Objective: Destroy the Immortal forces.

Immortals: DJ Squidley

Objective: Spread fear and terror, destroy as much of the Sector V fleet as possible, additional secret objective.

Turn order:
Immortal sub-capitals (excluding battleships such as Misanthrope, Serpentia, Battlegrinder's unnamed) -> Trattorian sub-capitals (excluding Heisenberg, Athenia, Helios) -> Trattorian capitals (Heisenberg, Athenia, Helios) -> Immortal capitals (the battleships)

Capital diagrams:

Spoiler

Show

Yellow is capital, red is non-capital


There is actually one more destroyer to the right that got cut off. Also because of the angle the Heisenberg on the left is in both yellow and red, however it is a capital not a sub-capital.

The ZMC would like to respectfully protest this no fly zone. We have deliveries to make and our customers are not going to be happy with any delays that this no fly zone will cause.

Immortal Sub-Capitals


The 4 Immortal frigates to the left move to the center, while the 5 Immortal frigates to the right bunch up in formation and move to flank on the right.

The Naga cruisers move up.


On the left, 4 frigates and 5 Naga cruisers combine fire on one of the Trattorian scanner stations.


They totally demolish it.


Meanwhile, the 5 other frigates combine fire on the Heisenberg and knock off 16 HP. The remaining Nagas focus theirs on the Helios satellite to the right.


The orbital defense platform is shredded, with some metal sheets still glowing.

Trattorian Sub-Capitals


All sub-capital ships move up, while the Curies launch all their fighters.


Everyone fires on their Immortal Naga counterparts.


Together, they manage to pop all the Nagas.


The fighters launched from the Curie then swarm ahead, focusing fire on the remaining frigates.


All the Immortal frigates disintegrate, but their wreckage barely adds to the already substantial debris field. All Immortal capital ships now have partial cover.

Immortal Sub-Capitals eliminated

fuggin epic

Trattorian Capitals


The Helios orbital defense platforms fire while the Athenia dreadnought moves out of the way.


The crew of the main Immortal battleship brace for impact.


Despite the devastating attack, advanced Immortal shielding and thick armor result in only the loss of 21 hit points.


The Athenia fires its main Mjolnir cannon, knocking off only 2 hitpoints from the Serpentia battleship to the right of the center (from this view).


The Heisenberg battleships charge up their Quantum Tunnel Cannons, as small packets of relativistic protons circulate through their particle accelerator rings to unimaginable speeds...


...teleported straight into the bridges and reactor cores of two Immortal Misanthrope battleships. Two bright flashes blind every ship on the battlefield with the brilliance of a binary star system, as the two mighty warships are atomized in an instant. The Heisenbergs will now have to recharge their QTC's for a turn to use them again.


The Athenia then readies the rest of its weapons, aiming straight at the Immortal flagship.


Mentat Arima: My apologies, Accountant, but a captain must go down with her ship. Goodbye.


The Immortal flagship cracks apart under the firepower.

Immortal Capitals


The Misanthropes combine fire on the wounded Heisenberg.


They manage to bring it down, as the battleship cracks apart from stressed and malfunctioning physics equipment.


Meanwhile the Serpentias focus on the other Heisenberg, and knock off 14 HP.


Two of the Serpentias on the left proceed to crawl ahead.

Trattorian Sub-Capitals


The Trattorian Faraday destroyers and Curie cruisers move up while targeting the Misanthropes and any Serpentias of opportunity.


The armada’s overwhelming firepower reduces the two Misanthropes to slag, with some leftover guns to spare for the wounded Serpentia.


The Trattorian fighters move up.


They then combine fire on the other Serpentia towards the center, reducing it to literally its last hitpoint.

This is how to start 2018 off right.

Trattorian Capitals


One Helios and the Athenia team up on the left Serpentia.


It gets vaporized, and the gamemaster is clearly getting lazy/tired of making debris.


Meanwhile the other full-health Serpentia gets reduced to 6 HP (the Immortal forces at this point consist of two Serpentias, one at 1HP and the other at 6HP).

Immortal Capitals


The Serpentia on the right (from the Trattorian perspective) moves up and fires everything it has at the remaining Heisenberg. Unfortunately, its large, inaccurate turrets are a poor mix for the debris cloud and it only knocks off a single hitpoint.


The other Serpentia attempts to do a Holdo ram and FTL straight into the Trattorian Athenia dreadnought.


Unfortunately it crit fails the feat, and instead its FTL drive malfunctions and implodes.

Trattorians


Stratego Desroches: Enough of this. To the remaining souls aboard the Immortal vessel. Your fleet lies in ruin, your commander dead. Fear not, I promise your demise here will be swift.


The Heisenberg revs up its Quantum Tunnel Cannon again...


...resulting in another spectacular light show as the last Immortal ship is annihilated.

Final Overviews









Trattorian Victory

My drunk defence of Trattoria worked spectacularly.

is it me or was this battle skewed towards trattoria?