Battle in the Chat: Battle of Fairhope

[Colette]

Overwatch turn 3.

[Colette]

USA


The three USA soldiers, knowing their rifles are not enough to penetrate the thick TTSJ tank armor, instead aim for its main gun, and successfully disable it.

[Colette]

Immortals


The Immortal phalanxes eliminate the remaining Trattorian soldiers and S1 drones.


Thanks to an amazing sprint roll, the other Phalanx squad and the Sigma Shard join up as they head towards the USA infantry.


Meanwhile the legionnaire with the hard drive continues sprinting away from the battlefield.


The Sigma Shard leaps into the air, aiming his halberd straight into the Trattorian Laplace tank's barrel.


Unfortunately he misses (failed feat), landing and eviscerating one of his own troops.

[Colette]

TTSJs


The TTSJ tank chugs full speed ahead at the Trattorian tank. Also it tries to shoot it with its secondary guns, but the bullets barely dent the latter.

[Colette]

Trattoria




They are the panzer elite, born to compete, never retreat (ghost division)

The tank rams through the Phalanx wall, killing 4 Legionnaires and the Optio. Warhead manages to bail out of the way.


To add insult to injury, the Trattorian tank knocks off 2 hit points from the TTSJ tank.

[Colette]

USA


The USA troops take cover behind the wreckage of the Immortal tank, but fail to penetrate the Phalanx wall.

[Colette]

Immortals + TTSJs


The Immortal Phalanxes fire on the remaining USA troops.




USA eliminated.


The other Phalanx clambers on top of the Trattorian drone tank, and aims his rifle point-blank at the missile rack.

Inhaling one final time, he bellows at the top of his lungs, in an act of faceless bravery, "IMMORTALIS!"


The explosion rocks the Trattorian tank, knocking half of its HP off in one action (3 out of 8 HP remaining).


The TTSJ tank then rams its Trattorian counterpart, knocking off another hit point (2 out of 8 HP remaining).


The Sigma Warhead Shard then attacks the tank with his OTC, but fails to do damage.


In a fiery rage, he flips it over in frustration.


The Legionnaire with the hard drive continues sprinting.


What is it with Scratch's luck this turn?


At this point, with the only opposition being a heavily damaged, flipped over Trattorian tank several human-scale feet away, I think the hard drive is safely in Immortal possession.

Immortal + TTSJ victory.

[Colette]

Final overviews.






(guy in the top right is the Legionnaire with the hard drive.)

[Scratch]

Good battle, soon we'll be at the gates of wash-a-ton.

[Colette]

Sting: Excellent work, Sigma Shard, Immortal High Command will be pleased with this result. With the Billary Clinton emails and the Trump golden shower video, the potential for subterfuge and political blackmail within the USA political world is incalcul -
*crunch crunch crunch*


Sting: What the fuck are you doing?
Sigma Shard: *mouth full* I WAS HUNGRY.
Sting: Are you - are you fucking eating the hard drive? Are you insane? Now we'll never know what was truly in those emails. Also battery acid and electronics are bad for yo-
Sigma Shard: STOP MOTHERING ME, YOUR MOTHER WAS A DIRTY WHORE. ALSO I'M IMMORTAL YOU TWAT.

[Kommander Ken]

The Immortals will never die.









wait.

[Omega Prime]

Is it just me or do the Immortals basically win 90% of the Chat Battles that Colette hosts?

[sahasrahla]

yeah, i mean, they're the fucking immortals

[Colette]

Is it just me or do the Immortals basically win 90% of the Chat Battles that Colette hosts?

Out of 11 chat battles I've hosted that had the Immortals, they lost 4 of them and won 7 of them (really 3.5 and 7.5, since in one of them the Immortals failed their objective but the Sigma Shard achieved his individual one). So they win more often than they lose, but it's not 90%. Operation Glass Leviathan was a notable defeat for them.

I think there are a few reasons behind the Immortals' good track record. Scratch usually plays them and he's a good commander, and the Phalanx shields are actually noticeably effective.

[Omega Prime]

I think there are a few reasons behind the Immortals' good track record. Scratch usually plays them and he's a good commander, and the Phalanx shields are actually noticeably effective.

So what happens? Do people just forget that shooting directly at the shields is a terrible idea?