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I have everyone's orders except for the Mercenary Survivors'. This battle has become huge and even a single turn can take quite a bit of time to resolve, photograph and upload, so I've only processed one turn so far, will post this one now and the rest later.

INQUISTADORES



Two inquistadore troopers double back and pick up one of the explosives. Careful with that chainsaw, Eugenio.



Together they throw the explosive a whopping 6 inches, landing it perfectly in the middle of the manly men. The shock from all around causes reality to blur for a second.



A custodian takes aim... These are stable explosives so they've not that easy to set off. However! Overskill roll! Premature Detonation!



FOOOM!!!

Two Manly Troopers, MFS and an unfortunate inquistadore trooper are blown to bits. Outside of the center of the blast zone many inquistadores and the last Manly Trooper are knocked violently off their feet and disrupted. The tree stoically stands his ground.



The Hyena Mech lobs a grenade over the wall, blowing up a Prussian trooper.



He then executes the one on the tower.



The nobles and custodians switch places again. Nobles shoot the skeletons in their way, killing one of the armoured ones.



They then crash through the skeletons in their way, sending bones flying everywhere. One hover bike takes a point of damage from the collisions.



Custodians open fire on the rednecks, turning gramps into a red skid mark.

The Suspense is Too Tense

I have many regrets. My (continuous until end of battle) orders for the last Marksman is to avoid getting killed and slowly pick off anyone that's an easy target. Good luck to the rest of you!

Poor MFS.

That’s what you get for messing with the Inquistadores!

PLANETARY GARRISON



The defense turret opens fire on the hover tank. The armour holds, barely.



The raven's main guns blast the Hyena mech, damaging it for 1 SP.



The garrison gives the warp daemons another volley. Two headshots, two kills! The rest crit fail or don't deal enough damage.



The troops at the gate are less efficient, failing to get rid of the skeletons.



"This is NOT what I meant by 'bring down the gate on them'!" Johanna shouts into her communicator.

THE MANLY MEN



The last Manly Trooper picks himself up, and sees that he is in a bit of trouble.



Deciding to go out with a bang no matter what, he tries to sprint towards the last known location of one of MFS's explosives, but he trips and falls flat on his face. I don't rate his chances of survival.



"Fuck it, bigga booms!" Psycho Dad shouts as he takes aim at a nearby explosive.



He manages to set it off, and it blows up the nearest bitchy witch. The chasm thankfully shields him from the resulting explosion. Someone is going to be very grateful to him for this.

THE WOLFPACK



The Psychobots prioritize taking out Valeera. Harrier deploys his gun and Viper takes aim. Both miss, but a blast from Jolt's plasma cannon finally finishes her off.



The wolves, relatively unopposed, continue towards the hatch.



Johnny Blitzkrieg searches Red's murky depths to find a better weapon.



Ironic punishment ensues as his heavy pistol disappears into thin air.

SHITGOATS



The shitgoats rush the wall. Chetty uses the ancient shitgoat technique of poopulsion to launch himself over it. Seeing the threat, a guardsman shoots at the encroaching shitgoats, but doesn't do enough damage.



The dungans meanwhile have plans of their own. They charge amongst the mercenaries and butcher all of them with savage stabs. Only Troll and a Blue Sun mercenary on the other side of the tank are left standing.



Chetty slams into the disarmed Johnny from above, striking him hard in the chest, but apparently not hard enough.



The poomancers get stuck in the fountains of dung they tried to summon underneath the tank. They'll need help digging themselves out.

The rest of the round will be posted tomorrow!

WARP DAEMONS



"KILL!" Garmatron bellows as he and his shock troops somewhat uncharacteristically gather near the broken gate. Behind him, his ranged troops start pelting the Raven mech with everything they've got.



A horrendous 56 damage roll could've been enough to destroy the mech, but luckily for the machine it managed a pretty good armour roll itself, and 'only' lost 2 of its 4 SP.

MERCENARY SURVIVORS



Flamer sets two dungans ablaze, but a piss poor damage roll means they don't die to the flames (yet).



The last Blue Son continues to trade fire with the last peach infiltrator.



He misses, and the peach quickly shows him how it's done, with a well-aimed headshot.



Troll, stuck in combat, tries to use his heavy bolter as an improvised bludgeon.



He fails, and is smashed apart by a savage counter.

THE ARMY OF THE DAMNED



The necromancer and bitchy witch retreat from the inquistadore nobles. The witch buffs the necromancer's armour by a puny '1' and covers his back while he goes to raise one of the peach mutants.



With grinding damage slowly adding up, the gate finally starts to crack under the weight of the skeletons, who thus add to the planetary garrison's already considerable problems.



Crossbow skeletons spread their fire between flamer and the dungan warriors. A bolt slashes into one of the dungans that was on fire and puts him down.



The mutant is successfully raised. Great, 'cos we didn't have enough undead to deal with already.



Baron Demorte's skeletons advance. Predictably, the disrupted Manly Trooper is cut to pieces.



Crossbow skeletons mass fire on one of the inquistadore troopers. His heavy armour keeps him safe, for now.



One of the Custodians, despite defending himself bravely, gets overwhelmed.



The Baron and his riders go to look for bigger prey. They try to take out the other Custodian, who is in the way, but fail their attacks.



The Custodian counterattacks... and fails.



His comrades all dead, Psycho Dad goes into Even More Psycho Mode and gains hero stats + abilities and a Last Man Standing Benny!

"For Queen and country!" Hey, what the-

THE BRITTANIAN LEAGUE has arrived!



motorhead fan is here!



"Well, this is just swell," one of the Wolves who climbed down the ladder says as he watches the Brittanians pass by.



A full battalion led by none other than Princess Ossum and her loyal handmaidens, the Brittanians are sure to create some serious trouble.

++++++++++++++++OVERVIEWS++++++++++++++++



Having already delivered ironic punishment once, the IPD stands idly by this round and quietly survives the chaos.



That's all, folks. Send orders for Round 5!

Oh shit, here come the redcoats.

Shitgoats and Dungans are on fire! Literally and figuratively. Move outta the way or get shat on!

Someone should probably ping Scratch.

Craigallot wrote:Someone should probably ping Scratch.

Can do!