APPLE BATTLE - for real! (closed signup!)

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MadMario
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APPLE BATTLE - for real! (closed signup!)

Post by MadMario » Sun May 02, 2021 5:11 pm

The appearance of a suspicious post of a fresh 'user' (who´s most likely a spambot) badgered me more than it should have. Long story short: Here it is - The APPLE BATTLE, as described and suggested by this cursed allegory-like post. We´ll see where it will lead us to. Will it lead us anywhere? Who knows? Anyway - let´s go!



A man was going to the house of some rich person.
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As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road.
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He said, "I do not want to eat those apples, for the rich man will give me much food,..."
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"...he will give me very nice food to eat."
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Then he took the apples and threw them away into the dust.
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He went on and came to a river.
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The river had become very big, so he could not go over it.
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He waited for some time...
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...then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."
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He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food.
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He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the dust and eat them.
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LET'S FIGHT!

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Factions:

-A man [ninja_bait]

-Some rich person [Gold]

-Some apples [Falk]

-A river [lordintype]

-The butler of some rich person [Archduke]

-Some very nice food [food_truk]

-Two construction workers [Infinity]

- A bunch of trees [Mr. President]

- A wheelbarrow [Red Rover]

-One or more secret factions (as seems fitting) [Bolicob] [HobieWan] [SpaceBunny]


Objectives:

- :mystery: - but hey, this is Brikwars! Be creative!


So, now you think "What the fuck is going on here???" - and yes, you´re right!

What are the construction workers digging for? Why didn´t the river eat all of the apples? What´s the mysterious computer terminal in the hills for? And did the rich person gather his wealth with Krypto-Kurrency? WHO CARES?

Important note: This is going to be weird af. I have no idea what I´m doing, completely honouring the weirdness of the original post that inspired this. If you decide to take a spot in this battle, don´t expect it to be serious. You have been warned.
Last edited by MadMario on Mon May 03, 2021 7:45 am, edited 6 times in total.
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ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by ninja_bait » Sun May 02, 2021 5:16 pm

As the protagonist of Brikwars, I will play The Man
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
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Infinity
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by Infinity » Sun May 02, 2021 5:21 pm

Two construction workers please
The most dangerous enemy you can fight is a man with nothing left to lose

:studgod:

Falk
Oh no whatever will we do without the buttplugs
Oh no whatever will we do without the buttplugs
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by Falk » Sun May 02, 2021 5:27 pm

As the antagonist to ninja bait, I will play the apples
BrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
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lordintype
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by lordintype » Sun May 02, 2021 5:44 pm

Hahaha, I'll take the bait and play as the river
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Gold
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by Gold » Sun May 02, 2021 6:23 pm

Sure! Why not, let's play the rich guy.

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Archduke
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by Archduke » Sun May 02, 2021 7:56 pm

I'll take that Buttler, if not, just give me an open spot. Many thanks!
Natalya wrote:
Thu Oct 10, 2019 9:53 pm
Why would anyone get banned for this?
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HobieWan
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by HobieWan » Sun May 02, 2021 8:19 pm

My first time participating in a forum battle? I have to go with being a wheelbarrow or if that is taken I would like to be a secret faction
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Bolicob12
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by Bolicob12 » Sun May 02, 2021 8:52 pm

Awesome


I will take a secret faction if available

Mr. President
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by Mr. President » Sun May 02, 2021 10:09 pm

Is anybody being the bunch of trees yet? If not, I will be the bunch of trees.
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by Space Bunny » Mon May 03, 2021 5:29 am

If I can have a secret faction, that would be great

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ninja_bait
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
I can make this man. I can let him touch the butt. I cannot promise his safety
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (signups)

Post by ninja_bait » Mon May 03, 2021 6:46 am

The Man realizes he may be able to cross the river using the apple crate as a boat. He checks the water for crocodiles by tossing an apple in.
I make apocalypses and apocalypse accessories.
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Gorvoslov
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (closed signup!)

Post by Gorvoslov » Mon May 03, 2021 11:00 am

Let the record show I was told in the Discord that I can be a random blade of grass that if anyone steps on it will scream and then die!

Falk
Oh no whatever will we do without the buttplugs
Oh no whatever will we do without the buttplugs
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (closed signup!)

Post by Falk » Mon May 03, 2021 3:56 pm

The apple cries as it gets thrown in the water. "I don't wanna baaaaaaaath!!" The other apple dreads the day it will meet the same fate as the other apples.

The apples already in the water float to the surface.
BrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
Empire of Luchardsko WIP wiki page

Mr. President
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - for real! (closed signup!)

Post by Mr. President » Mon May 03, 2021 7:45 pm

The trees near the Man rustle in the wind, in a way that tends to attract birds and/or pterodactyls.
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