APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

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MadMario
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APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

Post by MadMario » Thu May 13, 2021 6:23 pm

The mayhem continues...



construction demon (remaining)

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The construction demon (remaining) runs away from the apple demons and cries. "Mom, I´m scared!"



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Every time a demon says that, his mom really is summoned. Few people know this.



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DeMom: "Hush, hush my dear. Have the other demons been not nice to you again?"
Construction demon (remaining): "Yes, mommy!"



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DeMom: "Aw, everything will be fine. Here, have some foot."



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DeMom: "...and YOU GUYS! You better be nice to my boy, or so help me!"



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Apple Demons, in unison: "Yes, Missis DeMom..."
The green apple demon thinks: 'Man, she is definitely a hot-tempered DILF...'




apple demons

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The apple demons resume their initial mission. To gain apple. They long for apple badly. So they start to run to the Apple Warden.
"Give us these apples, for we long for them. Just do it. You have no right to have them for yourself."




apple warden

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The apple warden thinks: 'These are my apples. There are many like them, but this ones are mine. I will protect these apples'
He yells at the apple demons: "Not on my Apple Watch!"



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He starts to run away from the apple demons. Where his feet were, vines start to grow out of the ground. They make a natural grown wall.




a man

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A man realizes he´s all alone.



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a man: "AARGH I'M GETTING LONELY!"



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"You... won´t like me..."



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"...when I´m GETTING..."



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"...LONELY!"
He turns into the Inedible Sulk. He immedietelay looks angry and pouts.



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"SULK NO LIKE LONELY! SULK HUG FRIIIEENNNDSS!"
He jumps at the house and wants to hug the spirits to dead...



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...but he only gets to grab the porch roof and falls on the back. (feat. critfail)
"...SULK CRASH!"




ghostbutler

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The ghostbutler calls together the other undead. He has a plan.
"We can combine our forces. I mean that literally. Assemble!"



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The ghosts and skeletons say in unison:
"Who you gonna call?"
It is old ghost fusion ritual saying.



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They start to form a ghostly ghostmech, with there bodies as limbs.



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"Now we will take revenge!"



some rich guy

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Some rich guy pats on the keyboard once again.
"There´s some things money can´t buy. For everything else, there´s MORE MONEY!"
He buys an Army and orders them to imedialety sent forces. He wants to get rid of all the trespassers.



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some rich guy: "Hey, you food people! I will pay you for the food the food ordered. But you help me to get all those people off my lawn. And after that you go away, too. Deal?"
The crew of WWFD happily accepts the deal. They like some rich guy. He gave them money for the food.




world wide food delivery

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The crew of WWFD think: 'If he has so much money for the food, he sure has much more money. How we can get more money from him?'
And the Pizza-Tron guy has the answer. He hacks into the supercomputer with one of his guns - which is casually also a supercomputer hacking device - and starts to steal much money from some rich guys accounts.




water spirit

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some bubbles swim up to the pizza canoe.



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*SHLURP* The pizza canoe and the remaining pizzas disappear.
"Hmm, the breakfast of champions!"



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Soon, a straw made of water sips from the giant coffee cup.
"Hmm, I´m lovin` it!"



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An arm of water grabs the ButcherBike and starts to pluck the delicious meat off the bed.



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"Hmm, Where´s the beef?"




a wheelbarrow

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The a wheelbarrow suddenly removes itself from the trees and extends an antenna.
wheelbarrow: "Agent Barrow to M.o.C. Headquarters, do you copy?"
unknown:"Yes, we hear you. Is everything okay there?"
agent barrow: "NOTHING is okay here. All those people do weird things. They all ignore the law of conservation of mass! There are more things here than before. More than should be. We have to intervene!"
unknown: "Okay, we send reinforcement for you. You can return to your normal form meanwhile, and start restoring the original state of the place."
agent barrow: "Alright. Agent Barrow over and out."



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totally original mechanical noises



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*gasp!* Agent Barrow was a M.o.C. Reclamator drone the whole time! It is surprise everyone!




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He imdetilaley starts to cruise the battlefield, willing to collect all the ABS that is there.



a bunch of trees / a swarm of birds

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The trees start to rustle. They are calling other trees nearby. they want to call in an Entmoot. But the roots only hear:
'Please hold the line. All our Ents are currently speaking with other customers. The next free Ent is reserved for you. You are on place #*%$ of the waiting list. Please hold the line...' (feat. fail)

The birds gather around the thrown tree. They want to help it get back.



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They start lifting the tree and want to throw it back where it come from. But it is heavy. They can not hold it for long.
"Uh, oh..."



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*SPLURCH!* The tree falls onto the two smallest birds, who cannot catch it. They are died by the tree. (feat. critfail)



some nice foodgolem

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The some nice foodgolem sits and is joy about the much more food he has now.
"Yeah, Motherf***ers, I pity the food who just gives up! Let´s get this party started!"

some nice foodmontage

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"Hell yeah, now we´re talkin`!"



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The ghostly ghostmech sees what the some nice foodgolem is do, and it says:
"I see what the some nice foodgolem is do, and I do not like it. We must destroy the food!"



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Then it jumps in the air as highestest as can be getting.



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At the highestest point, it turns around and extends one fist.



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With all its might, it flies directly back to the roof of the some rich guy house...



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*SMAASH!* ...and smashes the roof to pieces!



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When the dust settles, the ghostly ghostmech disappeared. And the house. The ghostbutler and the ghosts and one skeleton are alive. One skeleton is not. The house is ruin.
some rich guy: "Oh no, my house! What did you do? Butler! Is that you? You´re fired!"



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ghostbutler: "Merdè! It is all the foods fault. I knew it was bad!"
A shadow appears behind a ghostbutler and a deep voice say:
foodmech:"Bad? You never have seen me bad..."



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"...But don`t worry, you´ll soon learn how bad this food can get!"



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Sudden, squealy tires can be heared across the road. an armored car arrives and picks up an apple golem with its bull bar.



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the car squishes the apple demon under its tire. It then is stopped by a rock.



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Soldiers jump out of the car. There uniforms are full of gold and money, and also there weapons are made of money and gold.
"We are the Military of Money Co., and we demand all of you to go. Other we will kill you away! Understanding?"



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As they speak, the Menders of Construction arrive. They look at the battlefield. They imeddiatley become despair.
"Geez, look at this sh*t! Man, you don´t even know where to start with cleaning that helluva mes__


"STOP. THIS. BATTLE. IMMEDIATLEY!"


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At the Mountain, a lawyer appears. And then more lawyers.
"We have been informed of several gravely copyright infringements going on here! We already underlined most of them."



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"Everyone who continues to battle has to face the consequences. Namely, everyone here is getting sued!"
And the lawyers all start to wave with cease and desist orders. Secret faction unlocked! - A bunch of annoying lawyers - Player: SpaceBunny)


end of turn three



final view

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Kills - 4 (2 Birds, 1 Skeleton, 1 Apple demon)
Creations - more yes. (Armoured car, ghostly ghost mech, food mech, bunch of annoying lawyers...)
Objectives - yes. (...and they start to define as factions build up friendships and hostilities)
Fun - yes, all over again!
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

Post by ninja_bait » Thu May 13, 2021 6:40 pm

The A Man realizes the thrilling biblical possibilities of the moment. He rips out a rib from his side to summon A Woman. They begin to name things.
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

Post by Gold » Thu May 13, 2021 7:48 pm

"LAWYERS?!? Well, good thing I can hire my own!" says the Rich Guy, spending EVEN MORE MONEY to not only counter the lawyers, but also to sue everyone for the destruction of his property (except the army, of course!). He ignores the hacking for now; more important fish to fry. And besides, it's only his personal account they're hacking. The army begins to fire at the threat closest to the Rich Man. HIS LIFE IS PRIORITY!

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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

Post by RedRover » Thu May 13, 2021 8:12 pm

Mender immediately start cleaning. Vcuming up the water golem and using it to hose down all the blood

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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

Post by Mr. President » Thu May 13, 2021 9:15 pm

Bunch of trees is dismayed by long waiting times at Ent call center. They must protect tree now, so they use their roots to suck water directly out of the river and then hose it at people so hard their skin comes off. I think roots work like that, right?
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

Post by Falk » Thu May 13, 2021 9:38 pm

The apple warden realizes the best way to protect the apples it to make sure everyone has some. He eats an apple, then poops out the seeds and uses them to plant an apple tree which grows more apples. That’s pretty neat!
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

Post by Food_Truk » Thu May 13, 2021 11:04 pm

The some nice food mech sees the mess of house and scolds ghost butler for not doing his job and making a mess of house. Then it proceeds to build the giant fridge-shaped portal to food dimension. Only laws that food cares about are expiration dates and table manners. (Serving size is just lie.)

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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

Post by lordintype » Sun May 16, 2021 2:29 am

The river will try to flood and turn the area into a swamp/bog/wet place while the water spirit will water the seeds of the apple planted by the apple warden, hoping for long term benefits
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 3

Post by Space Bunny » Sun May 16, 2021 1:28 pm

The lawyers, distressed by the amount of carnage and unethical treatment of everything, bring into the battlefield their fax machine cannon to release a barrage of cease and desist documents

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