APPLE BATTLE - Turn 6

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MadMario
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APPLE BATTLE - Turn 6

Post by MadMario » Tue Jun 22, 2021 4:56 pm

After entering the food dimension, our protagonists have to deal with several new threads, quests and objectives!


apple demon (remaining)

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The last of the apple demons knows he has not many options left.
Apple demon: "I know what I must do. It is the right choice."



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He sink on his knees, starting strange ritual.
"I alone cannot win this war, but I can guide those here who will!"



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And with great lighnting and thunder the apple demon flashes up, he sacrifice his body...



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...to create a LEY LIME!

Secret objective unlocked: All apple demons in the brikverse can - from now on and forever - directly travel to and from the food dimension by the use of Ley limes!

Apple demons are have gone!





apple warden

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The apple warden picks up a pineapple near him and ponders:
"I have no more apples to protect. Until I find new apples, or get back to my apples, you have to be close enough."



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But just as he puts the pineapple on his back, his eyes fall onto an object on the horizon he not see before.
If he had jaw, it would dropped have now.
"What... is this I see? I can´t believe!"



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He sprints across the field towards the object. It is, of course, giant apple!



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"You are the purpose of my life! I will protect you! Forever!"





wwfd crew

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The food delivery crew is shocked and overwhelmed by the sheer amount of food they see around.
After regaining countenance, they make a simple plan:
"OMG WTF SO MUCH FOOOOOD WE MUST COLLECT ALL OF IT NOW IMMEDIATLEY!"



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And they fan out in every direction in a Foodrush™, collecting all food items in their respective way.





some nice foodmech

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the some nice foodmech has had it with the Bonegnawer. He kick his ass and sends him flying!



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*splash!* The Bonegnawer lands headlong in the beerpool!



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When he resurface after some time, he is really angery, but also very drunk.
Bonegnawer: "Whooewwer dat was, I`ell haw rrrewench!" *hiccup!*



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Then the some nice foodmech uses his p(s)ieonic powers to summon himself a companion.
"I could use some help. And I know how things work around here. So, arise, my fleshy fellow!"



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And before him rises aBurgre Boi!





a man - and amanda

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Amanda: "I ate from the apple, but I am still hungry. I long for food."
A man: "There is not enough food nearby for us to eat. But if there can grow an apple tree from a single apple, maybe we can grow our own trees here?"
Amanda: "Your thoughts are wise, husband. We will do as you say."



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Amanda: "I´ll grow myself a fancy pork tree."
And she grabs a nearby Pigman. (insert 'porklifting' pun here)



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*SPLURTCH* She smashes the Pigman in the ground and waits for the pork tree to grow.



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A man: "I´ll have some pizza, I guess."
And he clutches the head of the WWFD Pizza guy who happen to walk nearby him.



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*SCHRONNK*
He just pushes the Pizza guy into the ground. And he is looking forward for some nice pizza from the tree.
"Now we just have to wait a bit."





a flock of birds / a bunch of trees

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The birds grab their still burning tree friend and bring him towards the dew can.



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They shove aside the Children Of Dew and make way for the others at the fountain.



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*Kwsssshhhh* The flames are vanish and the tree is relief. He is save now.



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The birds then fly to the nearby giant bread and start to eat its crust. They are hungry after a long day of work.



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But as soon they start picking, the bread moves and shakes and speaks:
"Oouch! Hoooow daaare yoou too pick oon the miighty Liiegeloord!"



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They awakened the Liegelord Of All Foodcritters!



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The LOAF steps forward and smashes the flamingo, and in the same movement bites the head off the ostrich!
The other birds flee in sheer panic! The tree thinks: "Oh, shit. I Hope he doesn´t like greens..."





Money co. military

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Some rich guy: "Wow, that was an unexpected journey, but there´s much profit to be made here!"
The wristwatch of the soldier beeps. "Well, it´s closing time. And the command doesn´t pay for overtime. I´m off."



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Soldier: "What´s the most expensive wine you have?"
Barkeeper: "This is the food dimension. We have all the wine."
Soldier: "Excellent! I`ll have a glass of 'Domaine de la Romanée Conti Grand Cru 2016' then"
Barkeeper: "Here you go, sir."



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The soldier sips on the wine, perfectly satisfied. "This is really the place to be."





some rich guy

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Some rich guy: "Good personnel that works for free is hard to find these days. I´ll have to make the money myself. Again."
The Barista guy of the WWFD approaches at high speed with a shopping cart full of food he collected.
Some rich guy: "Hey, if it isn´t my old business partners from the WWFD! Wanna make a new, more lucrative deal?"



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The barista stop nearby, totally ignoring some rich guy, collecting more food from the ground.
Some rich guy: "Oh, I know you´re angry because my food turned into a foodgolem that built a foodmech that built a fridge portal that brought us all into this weird place, but hey, it isn´t really my fault..."



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The barista still collects food and ignores some rich guy.
Some rich guy: "Okay, okay. Heres the deal. You collect food for me, I sell it in my chain stores, and you get 5% of the earnings pre-taxes. Sounds good?"
Barista doesn't react.
Some rich guy: "10%? --- 15? --- No? 17,5%, last word!"
(feat. fail)



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Barista walks off with the collected food, not hearing what some rich guy says, because he´s still in a Foodrush™ like a zombie.(insert 'graiiins!' pun here)





a bunch of (annoying) lawyers

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Lawyer 1: "The machine is broken, how do we get more standard forms now?"
Lawyer 2: "We must repair it, of course."
Lawyer 3: "But paragraph 3 section 1 in the manufactures field manual forbids self-repair of the machine."
Lawyer 2: "Meh. Those rules are from another dimension. They can´t be applied here."
Lawyer 1: "That´s all well and good, but we´re still lawyers, not engineers..."
Lawyer 2: "Pah, how hard can it be to repair such a thing?"



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They repair the fax cannon with all kinds of stuff they find around, and with tools they considered appropiate.
Lawyer 2: "See? Like new!"
Lawyer 1: "...yeeees. And you are sure this will work?"



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Lawyer 2: "There´s only one way to find out!"



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He smashes the 'on' button. The machine immedilatey rattles and vibrates heavily, making charging sound effects...



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Then the sounds die down, and the machine breaks into pieces, now far beyond repair. (feat. fail)



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Lawyers 1-3: "Well, in this case..."



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"It´s time for alternative negotiations!"
They get weapons out of their suitcases and begin to distribute the 'more direct' forms of cease and desist orders, starting with some rich guy.



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Yet they only manage to serve the forms to some pumpkin laying around. They are bad engineers AND bad marksmen.





saul corningstone iii

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Saul Corningstone III approaches the lawyers.
"Gentlemen, this is getting out of hand, don´t you think?"



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"If your lawyer apprenticeship should have teached you one thing, then It´s that automatic weapons are never suitable to settle a conflict."



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"Pumpguns are more versatile, reliable and armor piercing on short distances. Let me demonstrate:"



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*BLAM* The head of Lawyer 1 goes off in a red fountain.



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The other lawyers lower their weapons, still in shock.
Lawyer 1: *bleeds to death*
Lawyer 2: "Well, you surely made a point..."
Saul Corningstone III: "My friend, this beauty uses size B / 4.32mm (.170") steel pellet birdshot cartridges. I`m pretty sure that I´ve made SEVERAL points."





demom

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Meanwhile, the DeMom is going full rampage. She doesn´t even care to seek revenge on the some nice foodmech for kicking her dear son in the butt, she just starts to incinerate everything in range!





ghostbutler and frends

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The ghostbutler says: "I want to take revenge on the food, for I am still angry with him for killing me. Follow me, fellow ghosts!"



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They teleport to the back of the portal, and start to push...



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The portal starts to slowly tip over. The some nice foodmech is standing right beneath!
Some nice foodmech: "Well, shit."



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*KER-BLONK!* The some nice foodgolem just manages to escape the mech right before it is smashed by the portal! One of the WWFD crew is buried alongside of the foodmech frame underneath.





menders of construction

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Stubby the janitor: "Geez, look at this mess! And it´s getting worse every minute! We must act fast! Everyone in sweeping position!"



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And the Menders of Construction start to sweep clean everything in their path, while Stubby the janitor charges his supernatural broom with sweeping power...




bonegnawer

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Meanwhile the total drunk Bonegnawer tries to leave the beerpool for taking revenge.
"Yealll gonnaw pae fooa disss. Yool seee!"



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*Pfawp* He not comes far. He again lands headlong, this time in a giant cupcake. Now he stuck.




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And in the beerpool is more going on. The beer starts bubbling and suddnely...



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...the water beer spirit emerges at the surface.
Beer spirit: "Eyaam da beeeer sprit nao, andissis my Paarty crowwwd! Umyeah! That´s the spirrid. Now, whaddawe gowwin tadoo nekks?" *hiccup*





end of turn six



final view

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There´s still much to discover / unlock in the food dimension! Bring it on!
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ninja_bait
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 6

Post by ninja_bait » Tue Jun 22, 2021 5:14 pm

A Man and Amanda have fucked around, now it's time to find out.

They begin to observe the world around them and record their observations. They develop deep insights into the nature of the food dimension, such as "pizza man make pizza tree" and "light is both a wave and a particle"
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 6

Post by Gold » Tue Jun 22, 2021 9:54 pm

The lone soldier continues on his crusade to try all the food this dimension has to offer! He's here; might as well! Let's name the soldier, actually! His name is Dave, and he loves food as much as he loves money. Rich Guy, frustrated, tries to reason with the cleaners, "Hey! Let's do a deal! You clean the food, I sell it, and we both take a percentage of the profits! How 'bout it?" As for Corningstone, he continues to talk his way through this situation with the lawyers.

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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 6

Post by Food_Truk » Tue Jun 22, 2021 11:21 pm

The foodgolem will D I S C O M B O B U L A T E demom in the jaw with a swift punch before using his feat to ASSUME CONTROL OF THE LEY LIME and summon himself a new body/mech made of apples or whatever comes out of the damned thing.

Oh and burgerboi's just going to hunt down lawyers.

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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 6

Post by sahasrahla » Wed Jun 23, 2021 11:33 am

god damn, this is so good... just, so good

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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 6

Post by Mr. President » Thu Jun 24, 2021 8:04 am

Okay, you know how some trees can secrete chemicals that repels insects? The tree is going to secrete a different chemical which calls to green-type foods in the food dimension and makes them march over like Ents and start hitting things that look like they're hostile to trees. So, hitting pretty much everything, I guess.
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 6

Post by Falk » Mon Jun 28, 2021 6:03 pm

Applewarden begins setting up defenses around the giant apple
BrikWars 2010 Rules wrote:BrikWars ... stands in pretty direct opposition to many fundamental elements of the LEGO® philosophy, such as "Not Teaching Kids How Funny It Is to Set People on Fire."
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MadMario
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Re: APPLE BATTLE - Turn 6

Post by MadMario » Thu Oct 07, 2021 5:09 pm

Turn 7 is up!
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