TURN 2
Asbjørns Plunderers
Commanded by Vyron
Manly Viking Santa rummages the pile of presents once again. He finds the gift he had instore for the naughtiest boy of them all, the king.
He unpacks it using his Manly Santa Day Spirit SN d10. Inside is... An IG-88 assassin droid.
"ho ho ho motherfucker, time to die"
IG-88 assesses the situation and predicts that the gate must be destroyed before further action can be taken. He launches a grenade from his rifle, destroying the defensive structure.
Manly Viking Santa then calls to the vikings leader, Asbjørn.
"Dear lad, you see, I must be getting ho ho home. The holidays are over and I can feel my Manly Santa Day spirit getting weaker. You'll need to continue this fight on your own."
"Take this awesome helmet, it will grant you my heroic feat for each turn. It'll also inspire your men to redshirt for you"
"HO HO HO"
... and with a big POOF, Manly Viking Santa disappears.
Two vikings yeet their axes at the defender on the wall.
The defender dodges the first, but is struck dead by the second one.
The first viking storms into the castle
He attacks a crown defender. After a few rounds of combat, the defender dies to an Over The Top stab to the gut.
Asbjørn is second through the gates. He decides to use his heroic feat to disarm Sir Duuko.
Sir Duuko, best swordsman in the kingdom, stands no chance on heroic feat territory.
Asbjørn then slays the brave knight
The vikings move up. Two of then manage to climb from the chain onto the wall. IG-88 diverts and climbs the wall, using the commotion to locate his target - the king.
The 2 vikings on the wall head right, climb down, and try to kidnap a peasant.
Hearing their nordic accents, Charles The Not Bald is infuriated. He's had a grudge against vikings ever since one sarcastically kissed his beloved liege, with tongue.
No time to get his horse, he attacks the vikings!
... but poor Charles critfails and stabs the peasant instead.
Cyberman wrote:can't trust the french lmao
Angry with Charles that he just executed their first capture, the vikings decide to murder him in the streets.
The samurai warrior decides to grab a drink.
"Honorable. But stupid. Kampai!"
MEANWHILE
A group of construction workers arrives at the edge of the battlefield...
"What the hell? This isn't according to the schedule! We're supposed to start with the rekonstruktion, right here at this site. Why are these idiots still fighting? Why are they even here!?"
The forewoman calls her manager to discuss the impediments.
Les Leons de Dordogne
Commanded by Cyberman
The Leon hammerer attacks a Dragon Guard swordsman, but critfails and loses the shield. His opponent takes advantage.
This crossbowman tries to take revenge, but jams his weapon.
Two leons enter the gatehouse and explain what is happening outside.
The guards are convinced by the story and rush outside, while the Leons enter the barracks. One inspects the supplies, the other tests the bed.
"Magnifique!"
Big blokbot picks up Small blokbot and lifts him onto the gatehouse
Small blokbot decides to get drunk on guardsman ale
Big blokbot is not amused and climbs onto the gatehouse, reprimanding small blokbot in blokspeak
Big blokbot immediately jumps down from the gatehouse, because he sees magnificent yellow briks downtown. Mr. Samurai is crushed in the process.
This infuriates Sir Alderic, because Mr. Samurai was a guest in this castle. He takes it out on small blokbot.
He then instructs the guard to push off the ladder, as the Leons aren't welcome anymore. The guard does as he is told.
Thus the remaining Leons move to enter the castle via the gate
The front spearman locks in close combat with the defender, but neither deal lethal damage.
Mr. Axe joins the melee but misses his attack
This prompts the second defender to join the skirmish, who only manages to knock back Mr. Axe.
Another Leon swordsman joins in, but critfails
The poor, over-enthusiastic fellow runs himself onto the defenders' spear, deading him.
One of the valkyries then gives it a try. She manages to take out a defender, much to the amusement of her companion.
The Leon who brought the Holy Grail uses the Benny to boost the movement of his squad. They move around the gatehouse skirmish and towards the Dragon Guard, to protect the flank.
Two of them gang up on a Dragon Guardian and take him out.
The second valkyrie engages the classic lookin' DG dude, who clearly has the high ground.
Having the high ground doesn't quite work out - both the valkyrie and DG dude are killed by each other.
The last Leon takes a swing at the DG halberdier, but misses.
MEANWHILE
A sneaky Blacktron Commando is spotted near the yellow tower.
"Operator Schwartz to Blacktron HQ. Intel was correct, there is still pre-rekonstruktion activity at this site. No DSM intervention observed yet. Package has been located, I will begin the extraction. Over."
Dragon Alliance
Commanded by Dienekes
The DG halberdier straight up destroys Holy Grail Pierre
The Dragon Ranger climbs the wall and shoves a defender off the gatehouse.
Second up the wall is Sir Gerhard, who finds himself nicely within range of the heroic Gaspard riding his blokbot.
He misses and strikes the blokbot instead - but the blokbot is undamaged.
Gerhard moves on while two more rangers scale the wall. They take aim at the vikings below.
One kills a viking while the other critfails and drops his weapon.
Last up the wall is the green dragon knight, who challenges Sir Alderic to a duel
But that doesn't end well for him, as he's no match for a heroic swordsman like Alderic.
This ranger tries to coax the bird to drop heavy things on enemies
The bird drops a nice portion of birdshit on the ranger and flies to another tree.
In birdspeak, the animal makes it clear that the ranger should do better than roll 1's.
Lord Dracus commands his fel beast to swoop down and break the viking siege chain. The beast obeys.
The chain snaps, causing he last viking on it to fall.
Dracus then uses his crimson lance to end a viking.
The brave dog begins to growl at the dragon.
MEANWHILE
Gary the janitor looks puzzled.
"I was told to clean up after this battle, in preparation of the rekonstruktion. My lord said we should start BR 2,023 with clean streets. But the battle is still going..."
"I'll just clean a little harder I guess"
Brootalz
Commanded by BrickWarrior
A brootal lancer charges through the carnage to force a breakthrough
The attack doesn't go as planned, but is nonetheless effective. A knight is knocked back but unwounded, and the brootal stumbles into the market square.
But more importantly, the defensive line is broken. Brootalz begin to flood the streets of Brikburgh.
One of the knights in the defensive line attempts to hold off the attackers. He fights a brootal for several rounds - he slays the brootal, but loses his helmet (thus the deflection of his Heavy Armor)
The crossbowbroots try to take advantage, but both miss
This green boi brootalizes a market stand. He commandeers the wares and uses it to construct a pfishkaxe
He takes a swing at the knight... but critfails.
The pfishkaxe proves an unreliable weapon in combat, as the metal component detaches from the organic component.
The pickaxe component flies 11(!) inches, landing outside the walls where it kills a disrupted viking.
2 brootalz with medium weapons attack the mounted knight. The knight dies a cruel death, but bashes a brootal skull in the process.
A brootal slips and falls due to the exceptionally smooth street.
Mr. Fancypants dashes around a defender and ends him
This allows 4 more brootalz to ascend the makeshift staircase safely
One of the attackers flawlessly slays an armored knight
This brootal attempts to perform a aerial deathsmash on the mounted knight
But he trips over the kitten and cracks his skull at the bottom of the stairs - as decided by the fact he critfailed such a difficult action.
This poor brootboy searches the supplies for something to wipe the shit off his hands, and finds...
An even larger piece of shit
Warbawws Skullug takes aim with his giant spear, hoping to end the wizard.
The wizard is just barely missed. The weapon strikes the red window known as the Tribute To 375, destroying it.
The wizard turns around and sees the damage that was done.
"Oh dear lord... that's not good. How I wish that weapon hath struck me and not the Tribute"
RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE
The yellow tower begins to shake and move in it's entirety
It turns around, and speaks.
LUTHER! YOU MADE ME YOUR PRISONER, ABUSING THE IMAGE OF MY ANCENSTOR TO BRAND ME AND CURB MY POWERS. ALL THESE YEARS I STOOD SILENT IN YOUR FORTIFICATION. NO MORE! DEATH TO YOU!
The stucture whips out a giant red sword, connecting to it with nothing but pure yellow brik. It grows even further in size, now towering above the defenders.
It swings the giant weapon and cuts two defenders clean in half, just barely missing the wizard too.
Skullug decides that this was exactly what he meant to do.
The last actionable brootal enters the home of Lord Douglas, where he finds a masked figure. He sees green skin clearly under the white balaclava
"Took ya long enuf! I stole da keyz for da prisonah, lez go!"
The ninjabroot hands the keys to the brootal who just came in.
MEANWHILE
A very rich looking businessman shows up at the edge of the battlefield, with a small police escort.
"What the hell! Why aren't you people doing what you're supposed to do? This battle stops now, it's time to prepare for BR 2,023.
THE REKONSTRUKTION WAITS FOR NOONE!"
The Bulls
Commanded by Mr.President
The bull atop the ladder manages to yoink and kill the 4pion with his axe
Second guy up the ladder swings at the Liossan, but misses.
The skelemancer retrieves his SN dice, disbanding the bone ladder. He joins the men who breached the walls and now face the yellow tower.
He uses his SN dice to bless the 3 attackers with extra strong bones. They get +1d6 armor and +1d6 damage in close combat.
The men know better than to test their superpowers versus a walking tower. They sprint past it, into the castle - that's where the loot is, after all.
One of them finds himself within range of a viking and decides to deliver the first blow. He slays his foe with the help of the skelemancers blessing.
Cedric decides to demonstrate to the tower that he's no fan of the wizard either. He picks up a halberd and prepares to throw it at Luther
He just barely misses
"Yeah I know, but you could clearly see who I was aiming for, right? Right?"
The cart driver decides to search through the resources again. He finds...
A keg of
MANIAC BEER
The yellow tower would sure like some of that. It storms at the Bull, grabs him by the legs, and lifts him into the air.
He places the Bull on top of himself.
"LETS DRINK"
The Bull has never had a drinking buddy this awesome. He pours the Maniac Beer right into the loophole.
Skullug is obviously not happy about this
The archers decide to just let their comrade have his alcoholic fun - they sprint around the wall and join their boss.
This bull arrives at the stack of presents from Santa, and grabs the first one that's in reach.
He unpacks it and finds a techbik beam inside.
"..."
MEANWHILE
3 Rock Raiders show up!
"Ehh, are you sure this is the right place?"
"100%. I double checked the coordinates. This is the spot: Chief said to dig a tunnel here, right after the rekonstruktion happened."
"But what about these medieval folks having it out with each other?"
"Don't worry Buccy, I brought a gun."
They immediately get to work on their tunnel, destroying the castle walls.
Crown Knights
Commanded by me
This guard throws his spear at a brootal on the wall
The brootal ends up very dead
The knight then heads down the stairs and asks his mate what the heck is going on.
Together they decide that they should fling a spear at the Jaw-Jaw policeman.
It's quite effective
Sir Alderic engages Gaspard Lechevallier in an epic, heroic duel to the death.
They duke it out over 5 whole rounds of combat: Attacks, parries and counterattacks following each other in quick succession. But in the end, it is Gaspard, battling from atop his blokbot steed, who suffers a lethal blow.
The last man standing in the gatehouse manages to slay one of the Leon attackers.
The last of the Crown defenders over at Lion Gate swings his hammer at Asbjørn
He critfails: mid-swing, the knight suddenly smells delicious roasted chicken and is so distracted that he loses grip on his weapon.
The medik snake 8vian rolls a 1 on its ker-triage - the knight is now deader than ever before.
One of the knights near Douglas' house attacks a brootal invader. He strikes the shield out of his hand.
As a response, the brootal smacks the defender off the wall too.
The other crown knight nearby attacks, but deals no damage
This brave knight at market square deals no damage either.
The mounted knight with the mace wants to smash a broot, but his horse is scared of fish and freaks out.
Luther realizes that the Crowns forces are stretching dangerously thin.
He acts by spending all his SN dice on a super 6creant: a d6 to summon the creature, d4 to add fire damage to the halberd that the creature picks up, d8 for movement and d12 for an armor boost
The creature proves extremely powerful. With one fell swoop of the halberd it destroys 2 Bull warriors who made it to the hilltop.
This horse is spooked because his rider lost his head, so it runs off and almost tramples a viking
The Liossan is pissed at the Rock Raiders who are destroying his training ground, so he swings at Buccy but misses.
Jet fires her blaster but it doesn't do much against the armor
This knight gets up. Still dizzy from his fall, he painfully smacks a civilian instead of killing a brootal.
End of Turn 2
Skullug, Asbjørn, Gerhard, Cedric and the remaining Leons all wonder what they should do next. This battle is clearly spinning out of control. Should they attempt to accomplish their objective and sneak out before armageddon? Or should they embrace this carnage and murder their way towards the end of the brikverse?
Overwatch
