To Hell with this Campaign - Turn 5
Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2024 5:32 pm
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Teleports
Due to the Cops messing with the portal network, no new demons teleport in this turn.
or... at least not in THIS part of the battle.
Demons - Group 1
Malevolence hits the Pupkin Man with his Argent blade, but the marine#s armor holds.
He takes a few steps back to aim at the other Marine. The Tyrant fires off two rockets, but one of them explodes in the cannon and rips apart his weapon.
The other Missile hits and blows up the second Marine.
He gets up and laughs at the Cyber.
"Ha! You think a rocket to the face could stop me?"
Pumpkin Man meanwhile gets behind the Cyberdemon and punches his booty again.
His Berserk-powered fists punch through the Cybers defenses easily, dealing 2 damage to the beast. Malevolence is still alive, but barely holding on.
Demons - Group 2
The Cacodemon near the red teleport attempts to fire at the Skion troopers on the Blood bridge, but fails and starts choking on his own spit.
Finally having something in range, the Skion shotgunner opens fire in response, pulverizing the Caco.
Brootals
"oy, Boyz! You call dis runnin'? Get ova 'ere!"
"Right with ya, Boss. just gonna kill s'm of them demons on the way!"
"Guh... Morons."
The Boss jumps through the portal alone. His attempt to inspire his Boyz didn't work.
He ends up in the same Arena as MadMario. For... reasons he decides not to fire yet.
The two Brootals that had to run from the Zombies before make it through the orange teleporter and finally take out the last revenant.
The 'eavy Broot on the house of pain is not as lucky, having his weapon overheat while trying to murder Lucivyr and his Zombies.
Demons - Group 3
The Trites jump Buzz. Due to Buzz rolling exceptionally well on her armor saves, nothing noteworthy happens
Studland
"Grab what you can, we need to get out of here!"
While the Rocketeer does exactly that, Bert drives toward her to get back to the Bloodfalls and leave hell.
The Rocketeer grabs the dead Immortal Commander's Chainsword and legs it towards the start.
Just to immediately trip over a corpse and face-plant into the rocky ground.
Demons - Group 4
The two Imps run in to claw at one of the cops.
Only to be greeted by responsive flamethrowing.
One imp geets vaporized, the other shrugs the fire off.
He goes in to scratch the Cop but fails miserably.
Lucivyr and Friends
"You have failed your rescue mission, Bert. You won't make it to the artifact in time either. You might as well stay here. Join me. give in to Hell's power!"
"Sorry, no can do. But hey, I came here to get a Nervyr out. As you said, mine sadly got kidnapped. do you want to join us instead?"
"I... uh... sure?"
"Great! just grab a helmet off one of those dead guys!"
The Zombie Engineer meanwhile finishes his repairs on the Cyberdemonette's cybernetics.
"Uh... Brainz?"
Looks like he doesn't know how to re-attach the head.
He calls for the Scientist - who's an expert in keeping dead things alive. He takes a look at the demon's head.
But it looks like this is out of his field of expertise, so he just kicks the head off the tower.
The Zombie Soldier fires at the Brootal Machine gunner, but thanks to his light armor, he doesn't care.
Well, if he can't revive the Cyber, the Engi might as well use her rocket launcher himself to shoot the Brootal off the roof.
Sadly it looks like he did a shotty job and the cannon explodes, blowing up the Engineer.
Skion
Skion's troops leave the Blood bridge and go through the Portal. nothing is in range, so they decide to hold their fire in case MadMario does something stupid.
The Cult of Cain
Speaking of doing something stupid, these idiots keep attacking me. One of them misses and the other... fuck. They shot my notes. Uhm... well, I'm not gonna remember the rest of this battle without a noteblock. Gimme a sec, I'll be right back.
Intermission from another Hellhunt
"Hey, Mario, spare a second?"
"Hi Vomarsk! What can I do for you?"
"Well, I had my notebook um... getting 'lost' by some Chainsaw Enthusiasts. And I know you always have lots of paper around..."
"Say no more..."
"It must be somewhere here in the pile..."
"Ta-daa! A backup copy of your notes, complete just to the point where you 'lost' it."
"How did you..."
"No questions about that, okay?"
"Alright, thanks, buddy, I owe you one!"
"I´ll come back to it soon. Bye, Vomarsk!"
And with that, back to the battle.
Alright, what did I miss...? Looks like Buzz successfully slaughtered every demon around her except Luigi.
"ha ha, missed me!"
While Luigi is laughing at Buzz, Gunter sneaks up behind him and...
Takes off his head! Uh, I mean hat. Luigi LIVES!
Betty meanwhile nukes the nearby Zombie group with a well placen incendiary grenade.
MadMario's Mercs
The remaining Mercs also leave the Blood Bridge (I can finally make that fucking thing disappear... god, that was unstable) and go through the portal. Like Skion and the Brootal before them, they end up in the same arena as MadMario.
Mario meanwhile approaches the chainsaw's shrine. but as he gets close...
The shrine sinks into the ground.
On the other side, a new portal forms.
Thick arms reach through the dimensional rift, as a large demon tries to pull itself through.
The Monster rises from the portal, leaning on the nearby temple structures.
A Guardian of Hell stands before the group.
The two Mercenaries immediately open fire, but the beast shrugs it off.
Space Cops
Meanwhile, back in the main area:
"Officer down! Give him a proper sendoff!"
The two Cops grab the rifles and prepare for a 21 shot salute. Going directly into the Cyber's chest.
Dasher himself is apparently too shook from losing Spongelove and accidentally kills the Pupkin Marine. Luckily, his two officers manage to finish off malevolence without him.
"Thanks for the help, but... who are you guys? where am I? I was supposed to clean up in the tomb of Malevolence with Decino... This did not go to plan. Ah, well. Might as well help you blow up some demons while I'm here."
Coincident has joined the Space Cops.
Demons - the Guardian
The Guardian charges at MadMario, prompting response fire from... basically everyone in the arena.
The Brootal Boss shoots first, but "accidentally" hits the Mercenary in front of him in the back of the head.
More annoyed than hurt, the Mercenary turns around and gives the Brootal a disappointed look. he expected more from the Boss than two crit fails in a row.
The Skion Squad... at least hit their target, but don't do a lot of damage.
MadMario himself is more successfull, greeting the charging demon with two blows to the temple.
Roaring in pain and fury, the Guardian reaches up to come smashing down on the Hero who hurt him and wants to take his treasure.
Luckily, the Mercenary takes a break from laughing at the Brootal to jump in and redshirt.
Just in time so MadMario doesn't get squished.
This would have been the damage roll, btw.
"Phew..... Too close.....too close"
Overwatch
Arena:
Main:
These Brootals have made it to the second layer.
Luigi and the Cultists are still over here, chilling on a pile of corpses.
speaking of piles of corpses, there's another one over here. I keep forgetting this chaingunner exists.
There's also this weird situation between Bert and Lucivyr still going on
The Rocketeer might be lying on a pile of corpses, but she herself is not one. she's just... resting for a bit.
This situation is also still ongoing. But hey, at least you managed to kill my Noteblock... idiots
Oh, and Coin and the Space Sops are still around.
Teleports
Due to the Cops messing with the portal network, no new demons teleport in this turn.
or... at least not in THIS part of the battle.
Demons - Group 1
Malevolence hits the Pupkin Man with his Argent blade, but the marine#s armor holds.
He takes a few steps back to aim at the other Marine. The Tyrant fires off two rockets, but one of them explodes in the cannon and rips apart his weapon.
The other Missile hits and blows up the second Marine.
He gets up and laughs at the Cyber.
"Ha! You think a rocket to the face could stop me?"
Pumpkin Man meanwhile gets behind the Cyberdemon and punches his booty again.
His Berserk-powered fists punch through the Cybers defenses easily, dealing 2 damage to the beast. Malevolence is still alive, but barely holding on.
Demons - Group 2
The Cacodemon near the red teleport attempts to fire at the Skion troopers on the Blood bridge, but fails and starts choking on his own spit.
Finally having something in range, the Skion shotgunner opens fire in response, pulverizing the Caco.
Brootals
"oy, Boyz! You call dis runnin'? Get ova 'ere!"
"Right with ya, Boss. just gonna kill s'm of them demons on the way!"
"Guh... Morons."
The Boss jumps through the portal alone. His attempt to inspire his Boyz didn't work.
He ends up in the same Arena as MadMario. For... reasons he decides not to fire yet.
The two Brootals that had to run from the Zombies before make it through the orange teleporter and finally take out the last revenant.
The 'eavy Broot on the house of pain is not as lucky, having his weapon overheat while trying to murder Lucivyr and his Zombies.
Demons - Group 3
The Trites jump Buzz. Due to Buzz rolling exceptionally well on her armor saves, nothing noteworthy happens
Studland
"Grab what you can, we need to get out of here!"
While the Rocketeer does exactly that, Bert drives toward her to get back to the Bloodfalls and leave hell.
The Rocketeer grabs the dead Immortal Commander's Chainsword and legs it towards the start.
Just to immediately trip over a corpse and face-plant into the rocky ground.
Demons - Group 4
The two Imps run in to claw at one of the cops.
Only to be greeted by responsive flamethrowing.
One imp geets vaporized, the other shrugs the fire off.
He goes in to scratch the Cop but fails miserably.
Lucivyr and Friends
"You have failed your rescue mission, Bert. You won't make it to the artifact in time either. You might as well stay here. Join me. give in to Hell's power!"
"Sorry, no can do. But hey, I came here to get a Nervyr out. As you said, mine sadly got kidnapped. do you want to join us instead?"
"I... uh... sure?"
"Great! just grab a helmet off one of those dead guys!"
The Zombie Engineer meanwhile finishes his repairs on the Cyberdemonette's cybernetics.
"Uh... Brainz?"
Looks like he doesn't know how to re-attach the head.
He calls for the Scientist - who's an expert in keeping dead things alive. He takes a look at the demon's head.
But it looks like this is out of his field of expertise, so he just kicks the head off the tower.
The Zombie Soldier fires at the Brootal Machine gunner, but thanks to his light armor, he doesn't care.
Well, if he can't revive the Cyber, the Engi might as well use her rocket launcher himself to shoot the Brootal off the roof.
Sadly it looks like he did a shotty job and the cannon explodes, blowing up the Engineer.
Skion
Skion's troops leave the Blood bridge and go through the Portal. nothing is in range, so they decide to hold their fire in case MadMario does something stupid.
The Cult of Cain
Speaking of doing something stupid, these idiots keep attacking me. One of them misses and the other... fuck. They shot my notes. Uhm... well, I'm not gonna remember the rest of this battle without a noteblock. Gimme a sec, I'll be right back.
Intermission from another Hellhunt
"Hey, Mario, spare a second?"
"Hi Vomarsk! What can I do for you?"
"Well, I had my notebook um... getting 'lost' by some Chainsaw Enthusiasts. And I know you always have lots of paper around..."
"Say no more..."
"It must be somewhere here in the pile..."
"Ta-daa! A backup copy of your notes, complete just to the point where you 'lost' it."
"How did you..."
"No questions about that, okay?"
"Alright, thanks, buddy, I owe you one!"
"I´ll come back to it soon. Bye, Vomarsk!"
And with that, back to the battle.
Alright, what did I miss...? Looks like Buzz successfully slaughtered every demon around her except Luigi.
"ha ha, missed me!"
While Luigi is laughing at Buzz, Gunter sneaks up behind him and...
Takes off his head! Uh, I mean hat. Luigi LIVES!
Betty meanwhile nukes the nearby Zombie group with a well placen incendiary grenade.
MadMario's Mercs
The remaining Mercs also leave the Blood Bridge (I can finally make that fucking thing disappear... god, that was unstable) and go through the portal. Like Skion and the Brootal before them, they end up in the same arena as MadMario.
Mario meanwhile approaches the chainsaw's shrine. but as he gets close...
The shrine sinks into the ground.
On the other side, a new portal forms.
Thick arms reach through the dimensional rift, as a large demon tries to pull itself through.
The Monster rises from the portal, leaning on the nearby temple structures.
A Guardian of Hell stands before the group.
The two Mercenaries immediately open fire, but the beast shrugs it off.
Space Cops
Meanwhile, back in the main area:
"Officer down! Give him a proper sendoff!"
The two Cops grab the rifles and prepare for a 21 shot salute. Going directly into the Cyber's chest.
Dasher himself is apparently too shook from losing Spongelove and accidentally kills the Pupkin Marine. Luckily, his two officers manage to finish off malevolence without him.
"Thanks for the help, but... who are you guys? where am I? I was supposed to clean up in the tomb of Malevolence with Decino... This did not go to plan. Ah, well. Might as well help you blow up some demons while I'm here."
Coincident has joined the Space Cops.
Demons - the Guardian
The Guardian charges at MadMario, prompting response fire from... basically everyone in the arena.
The Brootal Boss shoots first, but "accidentally" hits the Mercenary in front of him in the back of the head.
More annoyed than hurt, the Mercenary turns around and gives the Brootal a disappointed look. he expected more from the Boss than two crit fails in a row.
The Skion Squad... at least hit their target, but don't do a lot of damage.
MadMario himself is more successfull, greeting the charging demon with two blows to the temple.
Roaring in pain and fury, the Guardian reaches up to come smashing down on the Hero who hurt him and wants to take his treasure.
Luckily, the Mercenary takes a break from laughing at the Brootal to jump in and redshirt.
Just in time so MadMario doesn't get squished.
This would have been the damage roll, btw.
"Phew..... Too close.....too close"
Overwatch
Arena:
Main:
More
Show
These Brootals have made it to the second layer.
Luigi and the Cultists are still over here, chilling on a pile of corpses.
speaking of piles of corpses, there's another one over here. I keep forgetting this chaingunner exists.
There's also this weird situation between Bert and Lucivyr still going on
The Rocketeer might be lying on a pile of corpses, but she herself is not one. she's just... resting for a bit.
This situation is also still ongoing. But hey, at least you managed to kill my Noteblock... idiots
Oh, and Coin and the Space Sops are still around.