[RK26] Loot-a-Palooza Finale

[bertinator]

<<< Previously | Campaign Top Thread

Introduction - Turn 0

A giant brootal-like creature has arrived at The Boulder. Unhindered by a brain, the beast has nothing to slow down its rampaging. Instead, it's outfitted with numerous biomechanical upgrades - an inheritance from the time this body merely lived to serve as the biological extension of a genious inventor.




Seeking to slay this creature is Elyana with her Skion forces, now finally able to field the repaired PartyBattleBus.




The Studlanders, led by Bertinator, will try to defend the bar ofcourse, but, if given the choice, will also try to score the kill.




MadMario and his mercs are never far - this campaign doesn't pay for itself, so they'll be on the hunt for loot.




Dasher leads the SpaceCops into battle once more. His boss, the Cop Captain, who's a total jerk by the way, wants to revoke all funding and end their campaign. So Dasher needs a big win today before he can return to headquarters.




Inside the bar is Nervyr, the man with the blue arm. Although he went missing and the Iriorians lost their homes in the horrible robot rebellion, his squad has remained faithful to him.




Bragallot is there too, but his clankers are nowhere to be seen - they're having trouble booting up. So Brag has helped himself to some coffee while he waits.




Quantum observes.




“What are you waiting for, you numbnuts? I thought you people lived for glory and looting corpses. Don’t tell me you only get your kicks from punching down, huh? C’mon — this could be the fight of the century! Oh, and relax, you don’t have to kill it all the way. Just knock it unconscious and I’ll count it, okay?”




AstroMike has parked his DreamSpeeder behind the bar.



Current Loot Tally

Here be da booty

Show

Overview of all lootable items currently on the field.

Unclaimed

• DreamSpeeder

Dasher

• Portal Generator from Hell

Elyana

• PartyBattleBus
• Studland guncart
• Demonic heart from the Guardian of Hell

Nervyr

• MoonCow
• C4N-D
• 2 computer cores

Bragallot

• Cleet-o-bot (set to arrive)

MadMario

• 2x Orange Transparent Chainsaw
• A badass picture from Elyana in hell

Bertinator

• A pig.
• A donut.
• A Soulsphere.
• IM Magik pistol
• 1x Orange Transparent Chainsaw
• Roadbike.

Welcome to...

Loot-a-Palooza Finale

[bertinator]

Turn 1 - SpaceCops

The bulk of the Spacepolicemen move up towards the front of the bar, the Mech leading the charge.




Dasher uses his hellish portalling device to create an initial gateway - inside the hovercar.




"Kit, you're with me. It's about time we put that devilish droid to justice. Let's crack open a window."
"Say no more, chief."




"GYAAAAAAAHHH"




KERR-KRASHHH



Dasher readies his portalgun to finalize the magik pathway.

"Not even a computer sees this one coming."




B-ZAPP



"AAHHH!!"

It's a missed shot! Instead of hitting AstroMike, the blast strikes Quantum! (feat failed)




He instantly disappears. Whereto?




"Let me oooouuutt!"

[bertinator]

Turn 1 - Nervs' Gang

One of Nervs grunts asks the bartender for a drink.




Nervyr goes to check out what just happened - a portal? In the bar?

"Heh, that'll come in handy."




"Get lost, droid! You weren't invited to this party!"




YEET!

AstroMike is barely able to avoid being portalled away, using the mini rocket boosters in its feet.




"You thought you could just kick me out, you prepubescent clown of a magician!? I'm the reason this party even exists! You should be thanking me for giving you the opportunity to.."




"WAAAAAGHWABBLEWABBLEWABBLEWABBLE!!"

Nervyr uses his profound supernatural abilities, obtained in the afterlife, to ensnare AstroMike and the brain.




With the sound of a toilet flush, they're sent through the portal.




"Aaaghhh!"
"Ooofff"
"Assistance!"




Nervyr then uses even more of his magik abilities to float towards Bragallot.




"Hey Brag, I've got a P.S.A. for people who order coffee at the Boulder."




"Huh...?"




"Hiiyaaaaahh!"




"Allright guys, that's settled then. The Boulder is ours. Did you order those beers?"
"He says the tap is closed while battles are ongoing, sir."




"ARE YOU CERTAIN YOU WISH TO DENY ME AND MY FRIENDS YOUR HOSPITALITY, BARTENDER!?"




The bartender quickly changes his mind and serves a 6-pack of ice cold Maniak Beers to the guests. (feat success)

[bertinator]

Turn 1 - AstroMike

The droid assesses the situation.

"Enemies: 4. Weapons in hand: 0."




Solution: re-allocate RAM.




The brand-new weapon is swung in a deadly arc. The first SpaceCop dies horribly as AstroMike continues the attack...




... but suddenly stops, seemingly forgetting what it was doing.

"You absolute thrift store toaster of a droid! Did you just use all of your working memory to forge that weapon? We're going to be rebooting until Manly Santa Day! Fuck!"




The SpaceCops use their response action to attack AstroMike. He's able to conjure up a loading screen in defense.




It's not enough! The screen shatters and the batons strike down on the droids hardware.




AstroMike is able to deploy the RedShir-Tron 8000 to save himself from lethal damage...




... but finds himself in a desperate situation nonetheless.

[bertinator]

Turn 1 - Cybork

The brootal rage incarnate turns its attention to the Skion troopers nearby.




BA-BLAM! BA-BLAM! BA-BLAM!

Wait a minute, those aren't bullets...




... they're Stroopwaffels!




The Skion squad is battered with delicious treats at lethal velocity.




4 troopers are a goner.




The cybork has a surprise for the Studlanders as well.




A small hole is revealed in the cyborks' armor.




*SPLORT*SPLORT*SPLORT*




A giant white puddle starts to form between the cybork and the Studlanders.




Hmm, it's Calpis and i really know that drink from Japan has 5,000,000 mg of fiber added!




Spooky season is over, but the lactic acid in this milky field hazard spawns a handfull of dooters.




To finish his turn, the cybork punches the wall of the Boulder.




Did I mention this brainless brootal body is badass as fuck? A whole collection of SuperNatural dice are available to this monstrosity to make sure it doesn't go down without a fight. Which shows, as this section of 3d10 armored wall is destroyed in seconds.




Peek-a-boo, loot-a-palooza.

[bertinator]

Turn 1 - Skion

Elyana urges her troops to regroup and move out onto the field.




"Payback time! Let's see what this Studland guncart is worth, heh heh..."



BWA-ZAAPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

Is it the Over The Top action roll? Or simply the top tier studland engineering? Who knows! But this guncart absolutely slaps and fires a massive laser burst at the Cybork.




Defense systems activated! The cyborks biomechanical enhancements protect it in battle, in this case with a short burst to help it bail out of the way.




The beam cuts right through the bars walls, so the cybork also has to deploy a force field to reflect the remaining laser.




At this rate, there won't be an afterparty.




Elyana fires a bolt of chaos magik at the Cybork.




It strikes his gun-arm, causing it to turn on himself! (feat success)




BOOM!




To finish the Skion turn, the PartyBattleBus moves into a more offensive position.

[bertinator]

Turn 1 - Studlanders

The Studlander infantry splits up in two groups.




Team 1 opens fire at the Skion troopers nearby.




They kill the dude operating the stolen guncart.




Team 2 is accompanied by the IFV. The dooters start to chip away at the armor, to no effect.




Bertinator is aching to pull a stunt.




VRROOOOMMM!!!




The Skion troopers turn their attention towards the skies, as something blots out the sun for them.




"Hasta la vista, baby!"




Bert fires his special IM magik pistol, taking out both troopers.




He sticks the landing and finds himself behind Skion lines. (feat success)

[bertinator]

Turn 1 - MadMario and his Mercs

MadMario takes a look out onto the field. The beautifull DreamSpeeder is calling to him, but the Studlanders have already advanced dangerously close to seize it.




"Vehicles to the front! Let's get that speeder now - full speed ahead! If we're fast enough, we'll grab it before the Studlanders open fire."




"WITNESS MEEEEEEEE!!!"




Not quite fast enough, Mario...

The Studland IFV opens fire. (feat failed)




Its heavy machine gun lands two shots on each vehicle. The bike is destroyed, while the trike takes one point of damage.




But the cat's out of the bag! MadMario takes an epic leap into the air...




... and lands his ass right onto the DreamSpeeders exquisite seating.

"One in a million, baby!"




MadMario instantly powers up the vehicle and accelerates it forward, portal beams shooting out the front.

SWOOOSHHH




SWIIISHHH

Exactly 10" behind the other portal, and traveling in the opposite direction, MadMario exits the portal. He now finds himself at almost the exact location he started the turn.




"What are you punks still waiting around for? Let's go crash this party at the Boulder!"




The mercs don't hesitate any longer - four of them approach the bar and open fire at Nervs crew, killing one.



"How dare you....!"

WHOOOOSHHHH




Nervyr has a substantial amount of SuperNatural dice left this turn, and is keen on using them. So he dashes forward in reponse once again, aiming to show off his powers.




The shockwave of his arrival knocks back the mercs.




The second squad of I.M.A. troopers open fire at Nervyr, who has to use all his remaining SN to deflect the incoming damage.




"I may be out of magik, but you guys are out of bullets. See you next turn, suckers!"

"Mr. Fancypants, you're up!" interrupts MadMario.




"Just what I thought!"

"Wait what, no no no no no..."




SCHHHPPLLLUUUURRRTTTT!!!!

With his magik powers drained for the turn, Nervyr was no match for the OTC.




...


End of turn 1 Overview

[Quantumsurfer]

What an incredibly fun turn.

[Arkbrik]

I gotta figure out how to use Supernatural Dice, this is crazy!

[bertinator]

Turn 2 - SpaceCops

"Freeze! You're under arrest, droid!"




We'll have to check the spacebodycam footage on this one. I didn't see AstroMike move, but the policemen open fire regardless.



Both the brain and the droid are arrested.

"AAAGGHH! You bastards! What is the charge? Gathering loot? Some succulent Danish loot!? Get your hands off my hypothalamus!"




Meanwhile, Dasher points his portaltek to the skies.




He's quite the marksman - the shot bounces off an orbiting satelite.




It strikes the ground where Dasher intended - next to the unoccupied guncart, between the Skion and Studlanders position. (feat success)




He instructs his men to hop into the hovercars' trunk and through the portal.




"You heard the boss, lads! Chop chop chop, up and at them! Through the portal, to protect and to serve!" shouts the squad leader.




They emerge at the other end of the battlefield.



One of the SpaceCops boards the guncart.

"Oi lads, you don't mind if I take this, do you? I have a warrant, I promise."
"Go ahead, sir" snorts the Skion trooper, "but those Studlanders over there won't let you get away with it so easily."



"Is that right? Well they better STOP RESISTING!!!"

BWAA-ZAAPPPPP




SKER-SPLURTCHH




Kit Blister and the officer charge at the studlanders with melee weapons.




They strike true, but the damage is reflected by a forcefield. What's going on!?




At the same time, the SpaceCops mecha kicks in the Boulders' heavy steel doors.




It gets down on one knee and readies the immense blaster rifle.




KA-BOOM!!! Despite the immense use rating of the gun, the mecha pilot fires it directly at the cybork.




The cybork parries with a force field it deemed sufficient, but it's overcome by the raw power of the blast.




The cybork takes quite a bit of leftover damage, but not enough to deal any Size Damage. A chunk of its blaster arm is knocked off, though.




To conclude the turn, the SpaceCop enforcer squad bashes the wall of the Boulder nearest to them.




They breach and enter.

[bertinator]

Turn 2 - Iriorians

After seeing their hero die, three grunts move to the door and open fire at MadMarios' mercs.




They gun down Mr. Fancypants and an IMA grunt.




This dude charges outside, battleaxe drawn, and swings it at MadMario.



He deals one point of size damage to the DreamSpeeder.

"Hey dude! What the fuck!?"




C4N-D steps outside, her teknovore hellflamethrower at the ready.




FWWOOOSSHHH

Four IMA grunts are set ablaze.




Magic bubbles pop up around the dead Nervyrs' body.




Stranger Things are happening.



"Greetings, poor souls."

Nervyr is revived! Reincarnated as one of his many forms he absorbed in The After, Nervyr is ready to continue the fight as Elementalvyr.



"With great power, comes great responsibility. Have you guys heard of transmutation!?"




Elemental mage nervyr has cursed a squad of 5 I.M.A. grunts to take on various strange forms, never before seen in the brikverse.




He then uses his OTC to show everyone he's not just playing games and quoting movies.

[bertinator]

Turn 2 - Bragallot

"Beep-boop. Recipient: Bragallot. Requesting assistance. In exchange, we will disable the clankserver malware."
"That's right, Brag! We'll let you deploy the clankers if you save us from the Department of Injustice!"




"Zo it waz you delayink mein armee. Hmmpf. I akzept. You hav mein zword!"

Bragallot immediately phones Commander Roger to see if he can get past voicemail this time.




"Roger Roger, reporting in sir."
"Releaze ze droid."
"Roger Roger."




The clankers open fire, killing 2 spacecoppers.




A meleeclanker storms forward, gutting another cop.




With the help of Roger Rogers' spotting, Q-BOT sends it.




Headshot!




Bragallot decides he'd like his coffee now, so he heads back into the Boulder.




Two droids approach the bar as well. What's that on their backs, though?




BOOM!!!




The clankers begin to flood the Boulder with a single directive communicated to them - find the coffee machine.

[bertinator]

Turn 2 - AstroMike and Brain

AstroMike gets hold of his RAMmer again and surveys the scene.




"ANNIHILATE!" the droid shouts as he crashes the cabin and driver of the SpaceCops hovercar.




"Wait a minute..." mutters the brain as it takes a better look at the clanker army.




"You motherfucker! Did you steal my AstroMike droid design? Has this campaign finally drained the last genuine idea from your no-good Neo-Prussian head? Everyone knows your inventions are shit, but none could suspect you'd sink this low. Give it BACK!"
"Nein."




"FUCK! Mikeymike, deploy the neural network attack probe."




With a series of disruptive instructions, AstroMike gains control of his bootleg clone, AstroMock.




AstroMock springs into action, stealing from the Iriorians something very valuable to the brain - C4N-Ds' remote control.




AstroMock hides around the cornes before the Iriorian notices, and begins to mash the buttons.




C4N-D turns a 180 and marches into the Boulder, to everyones surprise.

[bertinator]

Turn 2 - Cybork

The brootal body slams the tap and makes himself a Mania-ork-al cORKtail to boost his attack.




'ROIGHT. TIMEZ TO TURHN DAH TABLEZ'




The cybork tears out a section of the bar and uses it to barricade the hole he made in the wall earlier. (feat success)




He then powers up his big lazer and starts to blast everyone in sight. The SpaceCops mecha is first.




It takes 2 out of 3 points of Size Damage and topples over, ejecting the pilot.




The cybork barely misses the SpaceCops squad, instead destroying Nervs' skateboard.




C4N-D and the clankers take the full brunt of the laser barrage.




The suicide clanker at the front takes a hit and blows up...




... adding to the damage and resulting in complete carnage.