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There was a lot of instant killing in this turn. I should have expected it, but it went faster than I thought it would...

AND it looks like a lot of my pictures were blurred a bit. I need to work on that.

Turns are in order of when I received them. If you didn't sign up, then I didn't use your orders. Sorry mates, I didn't want to get too overwhelmed here! Secret Faction Leaders, your boys are coming in next turn.


Spartan kicks off the battle by throwing the TV at Ahp for no damage.


Darth then shoots with no effect at Warhead.


I decide to pick on Arkbrik first, resulting in-

First blood.
ARKBRIK ELIMINATED


Muffin drops his stuff and heads for the cannon, picking it up and attempting to fire it. Unfortunately, it ended up like this.

That's why you don't play with cannons, kids!

MUFFINMAN ELIMINATED


Shadowscythe jumps up and slices easily through Oneeye's neck. His reaction misses as he dies.

ONEEYE ELIMINATED


Apolloyn shifts the table a bit, knocking over the lamp, then runs off towards the Dimmie section.



The Black Dog pokes Badger through the grating. "OY!" A short scuffle later, Badger is down for the count. Black Dog then runs off towards the barrel by Bricks.


BADGER ELIMINATED


Legacy attacks Pesgores. The Poo-on-a-Stick proves to be inefficient as he is cut down.

PESGORES ELIMINATED


Warhead closes on Darth for an easy kill...
*blinks*
Wait, what? That can't be right.
Huh.

Darth actually makes a heroic effort to defend himself and succeeds in slaying Warhead. Great, now both of them are going to be mad at me...
WARHEAD ELIMINATED


Sigfig Stubby threatens my camera unless I make him winner of the battle. I snort and he laughs crazily, waiting for someone to attack him.

Kiemaster disassembles his sword and leans over, inserting the key into the ground.

It creates a portal.

Kiemaster teles out over by the Dimmies.


Elmagnifico fires on the beer jug sitting by Piltogg. It blows up explosively.

Piltogg is knocked away harmlessly by the blast.

Aoffan jumps up on the Bricks table, knocking a ship off, and swings his axe-handle...

Success!

FREDDE ELIMINATED
OLOTHONOR ELIMINATED

Piltogg, enraged, picks up the last glass that has any beer left in it and charges Elmagnifico with it. "DRINK IT!!!"

Elmagnifico slams him against the overturned table in response, knocking the wind from Piltogg.


Ragriz attempts to rush Spartan, but is knocked backwards by Spartan's reflexes.


Adrian, Magic Soap, and Tuefish all shoot at each other with no damage.



Coximind takes up a position and misses Elmagnifico.


Tathing attempts to kill Aoffyon with his superior range, but slices the ground as Aoffyon angrily closes the gap. Then he got in range...

TATHING ELIMINATED



Blitzen and J+B exchange volleys.

Since Silent_Sigfig and Natalya hadn't posted orders before I finished with the NPCs, I moved them now. Sorry mates, but I'm not waiting around. You are still in charge of your sig.

Silent's gun backfires. No damage.


Natalya fires her BFG. The round bounces off of Black Dog's shield, since he anticipated this.


LrdofBricks decides to claim the hill.

Overview Pics:

Battle Report wrote:ALIVE:
Ross_Varn, Stubby, Aph77, J+B, Magic Soap, Spartan, Shadowscythe, DarthBrik, NatalyaAF, Silent_Sigfig, TheBlackDog, Blitzen, LrdorBricks, Coximind, Tuefish, Piltogg, Aoffan, Kiemaster, Ragriz, AdriantheGeek, Apollyon, LegacyMedia.
DEAD:
Warhead (owch), Tathing, OneEye, Pesgores, Olothonor, Badger, Arkbrik, Fredde, Muffinman.

Also. Stubby, if you mess with this main post, I'm deleting your sigfig's banhammer. Just saying.

Post orders for Turn Two.

Secret Factions, you all come in next turn, PM me orders.

HUZZAH!!!

That's for not giving me my angry inch Olothontor!

EDIT: Oops, forgot my orders. I bring my axe handle up over my head, and jump at Blackdog, bringing my blade down upon his skull at full force. K-SHUNK! I then aim my gun barrel, axe still in Blackdog, and fire at Shadowscythe. BANG!

damn straight i claim the hill. whoever controls me better keep it that way

I grab Piltogg in a headlock and blow his head off at point blank range.

im going to dive for my gun,crouch then spin around and fire at ragriz

Ahh i died, ah well, at least i took some of the field with me

He SHOT the BEER?

HE SHOT THE BEER???

Never have I witnessed a more banhammerable offense. Stubby does a flying aerial leap or charges or whatever action connects his banhammer with Elmagnifico the fastest. If this succeeds, he then tries to rescue whatever remains of the beer.

Sacrifice the guy in front of me to my heathen god.

Or, if that fails to work, light myself on fire in protest.

My troops have spoken; battle is now soon met.

I run over and attack Coximind with my amazing JaGeX bronze sword.

Turn fuckin' one! *Grumble* AND you allowed them to shoot the beer!!!

Contract signed in blood and forwarded to the Daemon Dimensions to have one Ross_Varn's soul mercilessly and brutally buttraped with fiery pokers for all eternity. While listening to Rick Astley records. With nothing but J+B's writings to keep you sane.

EDIT:

@DarthBrik: Well played sir, good show. You jammy git!

I can only presume I'm next to Affoan23 (as the other minifig is natalyaAF) So using the table to add height to my advantage - jump off the table, and as I'm coming down - swing around 360 degrees, and try and take BOTH their heads off! =P

In an heroic effort i grab James+Burgundy by the ankle and hurl him towards the remnants of Warhead because:

the wiki wrote:James+burgundy is particularly dangerous when placed in proximity to incendiary devices such as Warhead.

Blitzen will gladly step aside to enjoy the sight.

If I'm still alive after Shadowscythe's attack, I kill him with my spear. If that fails, I back up and ready my shield to deflect his attack.

Frisbee the shield in a wide arc to decapitate as many enemies as possible, then roll for cover.