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THE DEADLY SPACEMEN... Sort of.

Meanwhile back at the Proto-Fig Cave things are going badly...


*RIP! TEAR! REND! SQUELCH! SPLATOOHY!*

The psychic death screams of the Proto-Figs resound through ethereal space. In normal space nothing can be heard but the gruesome sounds of flesh ripping and being torn apart from within.

But what was in this Kinder surprise?..



Newly hatched Deadly Spacemen! The Mini-Fig was the death of all Proto-Figs and now we know why. Where one nurtured peace and goodness the other was turned to war and eternal suffering.





Without need for understanding the situation they rush to attack. As ordered they all attack anything even remotely dangerous looking.



Yellow shoots at one of Mjr Natalya's Personal Guards. The shot hit but with a roll of 4 on 3D6 it kind of sucked. Yellow ends up feeling Spaceman shame and unfulfilled. He'll be easier to kill next turn.

Red takes his improved weapon and fires it up. Shells scream across the courtyard. Amazingly it doesn't blow up, DSM are good at building obviously.



The Survivors Battle Wagon takes three hits!



But nothing critical is harmed. The rear armour took a beating however.



The LasCarbine (with attached under-barrel Mk I rocket) fires on the Britannian Medic dude while the Bastard Autocannon fires on stunned Manly Fuckin' Santa. The Sniper Rifle (With Missile Launcher) spots Mini-Warhead and takes a long shot.



The Medic is toast!



Manly Fuckin' Santa is bracketed with shots but remains unsplattered.



Mini-Warhead with the use of the OTC with ZMJ's head attached managed to deflect the sniper shot. He doesn't look too happy though. Probably because I forgot to move him last turn.



The remaining DSM finish their move onto the landing pad.

Oooh, does this mean if the DSM kill the remaining protofigs - the fallen protofigs will spawn additional DSM?

Umm, Warhead, if the Proto-Figs nurtured peace and goodness, how do you explain the unspeakable atrocities that took place here?

I like the mixed colors on the Deadly Spacemen.

NatalyaAF wrote:Umm, Warhead, if the Proto-Figs nurtured peace and goodness, how do you explain the unspeakable atrocities that took place here?

Simple, oh faithless one. There has to be a beginning somewhere. Some Proto-Figs fell from grace and became tainted with the lust for doing things. One such sect were the insane Proto-Hospitaller as shown here who played a key roll in bringing the Mini-Fig into being. I remember playing with these Proto-Figs when I was a kid in the 70's so I should know. The sets were all child/family friendly... it was most frustrating. Things soon changed when the first Mini-Fig appeared however IIRC.

@Scythe: Yup! That could happen. Depends on various random factors however... Ok, ok, I write everyone's suggestions for the Proto-Figs down that haven't been done yet and stick it on my dart board. Then I throw my divers knife at it until one sticks in a name.

@OneEye: Cheers mate. I kind of like it too. They are only newborn and so they have to earn their proper DSM uniform. Usually by killing other DSM or whatever who have the parts they want.

Omg I only just noticed the proto-figs weren't just armless torsos on 2x1 bricks. Well at least it makes me feel younger. Natalya probably tried to undermine your history because her troops were shot at by fellow yellows while she wants to get to work on the peaches. (and with right!) That chainsaw gun looks mightily mean, too.

THE VOL!





Swift as death the two remaining Einherjar leap into action.





They bound over obstacles with ease. Their cold cybernetic minds concentrating on their targets.



The Super Sandwich Guy Cyborg loses it's Autocannon as a Rail Gunner is skewered from behind.



The other is not as fortunate only managing to cut the railgun of the already dead Super Sandwich Guy in half. The other Rail Gunners armour proving too tough.



The VOL Lieutenant, a trooper and the flamer all move up as best they can, desperate to get into the action.



The first VOL bike takes the ramp at full speed. The Reactions of the UDSM are too slow and their shots all miss.



ZAAAP!-KAPOOOW!

The X-Wing Laser fires mid-flight and insta-incinerates the Survivors battlewagon tracks. It can turn in place but as a moving vehicle it's pretty much screwed.



The landing however was a tad tricky...



VAAAA-DOOOOOOOM!!!

...nah, make that fatal.



The VOL back passenger is thrown clear and lands on top of the Survivors Battlewagon. Very dazed.



The second VOL bike thinks fuck this for a game of Lego and decides to shoot the wall instead of trying to jump it. A UDSM is caught in the blast and sent flying.



Breaking through the gap the VOL tail gunner shoots at the Rocket Launcher armed UDSM and hits him critically.



KRACK-BA-DOOOOOOM!!!

His backpack and missiles all explode and he too is thrown into the air.



He lands on his bony head without any weapons.



Unfortunatley for the VOL there was one UDSM response fire item able to go. The Plasma Bazooka fires true...





BA-FUCKIN'NEEDSOMENEWWORDS-BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

...maybe they survived?



Ah... nnvd.



Pissed off to say the least the VOL Commander Leonidus heads over to the X-Wing.





He grabs the last X-Wing laser and starts climbing. It's good for one shot and then it'll need a power source. Good enough.



Tum-te-tum... good here init?.. almost there.



With a crazed look in his eye Leonidus fires...



ZAAA-POOOOOOW!!! Ka-BOOOOM!!!

...and takes revenge for the fallen VOL.

@Brag: Natalya's not trying to undermine anything I think I'm the one undermining the status quo here. She's had more time here than me and has put a lot more work into the WIKI and this Forum than I have. But I have ideas in my head that just need to be blurted out sometimes. I mean no harm and hope to help.

Lots of explosions this turn....I like it

Woa you thought I was serious? You actually thought so? I must be losing my touch here

Vielleicht I should use de crappy german aczent a bit more

Ah, sorry, of course not Brag. I was more concerned what Natalya would think after reading that. She can take care of herself but I just didn't want her thinking I was trying to take over or whatever. I kind of step on toes with my bullish ways. Nice accent btw.

THE PEACH LIBERATION ARMY



FIRE! *BOOM!* Thanks RJ.

The canon roars.



The Gunners get busy with the swabbing out and reloading. The Canon will take a turn to reload but hey, better that than a premature gunpowder accident in the barrel.



weeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEE - BOOOM!!!

A Star Commando in mid-flight is thrown by the force of the blast.



He has a nice soft landing amongst the corpses relatively unharmed but quite disorientated.



Another is thrown to the ground unharmed.



The Peaches rush forward stabbing and hacking at the fallen Commando. He tries to fend off their attacks as best he can, he even uses his helmet as a shield...



But the end is sadly inevitable. Pose for the camera boys.



The second squad rush the stairs but aren't close enough to storm up them. They settle for a barrage of gunfire that kills the Commando with the Computer Core, mind you don't destroy it lads!



The Jetpack already ignited pulls the body erratically across the skies until...



...it lands in a crumpled heap 11" away between Mjr Natalya and the Super Jews and VOL.

(Well, that was unexpected and kind of upsetting).

My poor tank.

THE ASSYRIAN EMPIRE

Warning: Big ass turn ahead!!!

++++++++++ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED!!!++++++++++

+++++UNLEASH THE OSSUM!!!+++++

Mjr Natalya through her amazing use of the Maytricks may double all her rolled results and may not roll a crit fail this turn. She may also attempt another action on the roll of a 4+ on the second action, 5+ on the third and 6+ on the fourth. This OSSUM display directly enhances her troops to greater heights of Ossum. Let it begin...



Mjr Natalya starts running towards the Peaches.



She leaps up onto some of the strewn debris and launches herself into the air, guns blazing...



...



...shots rip into the PLA killing one...



and wounding the Red Squadron Leader.



She draws her Power Sword before landing among the Peaches that had butchered one of her Star Commandos.



Landing lightly she effortlessly swings her Power Sword through the neck of a Peach while back kicking another in the face sending him flying.



Successfully attempting another action she reverses the swing of her sword through the neck of another Peach who while attempting to shoot her with a response action critically fails and shoots his squad mate instead.



Heroic Pose #1. Ossum enough?



Driven to new feats of Ossum the Assassin Droid takes to the Roof of the Drop Command Centre.



A perfect spot to support the Majors attack.

DAKKA! DAKKA! DAKKA!



Two more Peaches are blasted apart.



Unable to keep up in an assault the flamer secures the rear and deals with the pesky DSM that had tried shooting at them.



DSM BBQ?.. Yum!



Mjr Natalya's Personal Guard try their best to keep up with their leader. One is shot while trying to close with the enemy.



A return shot fails to beat the Peaches Clone Armour.



But the Clone Armour is no match for a close encounter with a Laser Sword.



The red Peach Leader is swiftly executed.



The Peach Blue Squad Leader takes a hit but his armour defeats it.



FA - WOOOOOOOOOSH!

The remaining Assassin Droid fires a Rocket!





INCOMING!!!





KRAH - DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!



FIZZZZZZZZ!..

But it's not over yet... Oh no, not yet .



The Assyrian NCO goes in firing and blasts a Super Sandwich Guy in the face shattering his face mask.



Grabbing the first available weapon to hand the Assyrian opens up with a furious spray of blaster bolts from the Bastard Gun. Built for closer engagements the Super Jews pliable armour is no match for it.



More Assyrians pick themselves up and charge into combat.



Another Assyrian blasts away at the Super Sandwich Guy Heavy...



Another Super Sandwich Guy hits the dirt.



The Captain attacks Commander Horowitz but he managed to roll three critical successes and not only cuts off the Captains hand but pushes him over AND dodges the Assyrian Troopers close range shot. Fuck in hell!



Not finished yet the Captain fires from the ground where he was thrown while the Assyrian Trooper desperately charges into close combat. The Captain missed while Horowitz easily blocked the Assyrians attack (with the cool glowing Nova Sword which I figured out how to make glow so I'm very hyped on it, just saying).



Meanwhile the assault continues as the Assyrians rush forward.



With deadly effect.



Soon only Horowitz, the Cleaver Leader and the De-gunned Cyborg remain.



The dazed Star Commando drags himself back and prepares to shoot the first person over the wall.



Seeing the Computer Core in danger the Star Commando Leader bites down his own personal shame at refusing personal combat and does his duty, going after the Computer Core.



He swiftly lands and secures the Computer...



...and turns and sends a blast of Plasma at the Super Sandwich Guy Cleaver.



Two Crit damage rolls later and he sends the Cleaver Leader to Kingdom Come. An OTC battle would have been better but duty first. Besides I rolled to see what he would do. Fate chose Duty.

0_0 i am so lucky i allied then.....