Miralee & Filora
"Look at these guys, Fil. You seeing what I'm seeing?"
"Yep. Suckers."
Look out Jepherus, there's a new tinker in town. Or... out of town, I guess, as these two do most of their work on hapless travelers and inexperienced adventurers lost and confused on the road. Hole in your boot? They've got laces, soles, spares, hobnails, leather polish, dress socks, you name it. Snapped your only hunting bow? They've got a brand new gently used real custom elf-made brand-name basic composite expert level EZ-Draw artisan-inscribed army camo longshortbow. Whatever you need. They're masters at SEO keyword manipulation.
Sylvester, Bubblegum Banshee Drag Queen
"Honeydoll, glittermuffin, sweet beautiful babycheeks, I think you'd better sit down and shut your honking bubbleblower or you gonna catch these hands."
Extra fabulous even among the very extra Bubblegum Banshees, you can always hear "Princess Sylvie" coming from a mile away precisely one minute before she arrives, because she talks at a mile a minute. That's math, bitch.
Robobunny
"Kiss my adorable metal tail."
It's a robot that's also a bunny. It has a carrot katana. What the fuck else do you want.
Cyber Knight
"For the honor and glory of Space King John XXIV, prepare to be immolated."
In an alternate universe, poor old King Louis XVI was just about to be guillotined when suddenly the English army invaded France! Turns out there was one thing greater than the French citizenry's hatred of the bourgeoise: their hatred of the English. The year is now 3144 and the hundred-year war ain't got nothing on the massive interstellar cock-waving contest now being waged by these two ancient enemies. But somewhere around the mid 2800's though everyone realized just shooting your enemy wasn't satisfying enough, and knights came back into fashion in a big way. Apparently when you're waging war based primarily on spite, nothing matches the sweet, sweet joy of carving up some shmuck with a laser sword.
Fire & Ice Djinni
"Bro step off, you're torching my cool."
"Well you're icing my sizzle, bro."
"Bro."
Ooooh fire and ice elementals who are brothers. A Cool and Original Concept.
Zonkar, Ilithid Elder Sorcerer
"Pbllbbthui'gh. Phtnagl-Akhtnorp."
Don't be fooled by his intimidating appearance, this guy is actually a total sweetheart. Unless you have a brain. Then he's a ravenous eldritch fiend with enough magic in one tentacle to turn your flesh and bones to goo to get at that sweet, sweet mind matter. But assuming you don't, feel free to go up and introduce yourself! He really is a nice guy. Unless he smells brains.
Duke Irenis
"One more disco ball joke and I will eat your face, peasant."
Look, he gets it, all the glitter and sparkle is almost too much. It's not for you. Ancient dragon dating culture was all based around who had the biggest treasure horde and who could show it off the best. These days things have gotten a little more sophisticated but glitter is still a huge part of their fashion. Duke Irenis is very fashionable and very single, dragon ladies.
