[HH] Let's Bash Some Skellies

[Silverdream]

On a distant world, where peaches have carved out a Sovereign Nation while other powers are distracted by the TA and Immortal Wars.



Jack Peachson: Hello, and welcome to Government Mandated Propaganda Show. I'm your host, Jack Peachson and today we'll have yellows and Orks bloody themselves against a zombie horde for our entertainment.



Jack Peachson: Last episode we took a few yellows from different nations and measured the decibels of their screams as fleebnorks munched on their flesh. The winner was the audience, who's cheers of patriotic joy inspired our great military's fervor.



Jack Peachson: Our first contestant is a mercenary who lit a peach hospital on fire after locking all the doors and windows.



Jack Peachson: Our second contestant is a samurai named Ohgi Watanabe. He hasn't committed any genocidal actions, we just think he's cool.



Jack Peachson: This is Jake Johnson. We found him in white face trying to solicit peach lot lizards. His excuse? "I'm feelin' peachy for a peachy peach."



Jack Peachson: This woman is an Assyrian assassin, she's been knocking down other peach republics for years now.



Jack Peachson: And finally we have Orgrar Grimfist, crusher of skulls.



Jack Peachson: Ready! Set! Begin!

[Silverdream]

Jack Peachson: The ranger misses her first shot, how typical of an inferior.





Jack Peachson: And the space trucker gets first blood! What a shot!





Jack Peachson: Miss assassin's gun jammed! Folks, this is why you buy your arms from Peach manucaturers. Remember, shop smart, shop Peach Mart.



Jack Peachson: What's Ohgi doing? Could it be his signature wind slash?





Jack Peachson: And he's done it! Not sure if he meant to aim for the building though.



Jack Peachson: Definitely not the smartest move, what do you think Rich?

Rich Whiteman: Looks to me like a failed heroic feat. That or he hates the colour tan.





Jack Peachson: These guys aren't doing well. Aside from Orgrar that is.

Rich Whiteman: It's to be expected Jack. Yellows just aren't as skilled in war as peaches are, from birth they need to be introduced to fighting. Just look at Trattorians, they lack bloodlust.

Jack Peachson: Orks on the other hand are excellent fighters. Inferior to peaches, but definitely superior to yellows.



Jack Peachson: Oh, and it looks like we've got our first man down. Rest in Peace Ohgi, you lemon bastard.





Jack Peachson: Looks like the Assyrian's realized that everything's gone to shit. She's grabbing a scimitar.

[Silverdream]

Rich Whiteman: I don't think that skelly cares about a knife in his ribcage.



Jack Peachson: That shotgun really is the most valuable instrument. Looks like a remington.



Jack Peachson: Looks like the ranger got her first kill.







Rich Whiteman: Never stand in front of an Ork's slicefist, it will slice you up.





Jack Peachson: Those zeds are getting closer. It doesn't help that those lemons can't shoot for shit.





Rich Whiteman: Ohgi's reanimated now. Looks like the crew's in trouble.





Jack Peachson: Aha, the lemon bastard fumbled it.



Jack Peachson: What a useless fig, he's picking up a busted rifle.



Jack Peachson: And now he's running away.

Rich Whiteman: That's a lemon for you. Always yellow and sour on the inside.





Jack Peachson: FUCK YEAH!

Rich Whiteman: Now that's what I call a hot shot.



Rich Whiteman: Too bad Orgrar's teammates can't shoot for shit.



Jack Peachson: What do you want to bet this skelly gets Jake?

Rich Whiteman: I'd bet anything, even my natural white skin.







Jack Peachson: Holy shit, I gotta get a magic katana.



Rich Whiteman: Ohgi's in for it this time. I'm guessing battlefield removal by Ork fist?



Jack Peachson: Nope, looks like the magic katanas got Ohgi covered.









Jack Peachson: Look at these guys go. Now this is what I like to see. Melee combat.





Rich Whiteman: Ohgi refuses to give up. He's better as a zombie than he was alive.



Jack Peachson: Looks like you're getting a tanning bed, Rich.





Rich Whiteman:

[stubby]

Jack Peachson: Last episode we took a few yellows from different nations and measured the decibels of their screams as fleebnorks munched on their flesh. The winner was the audience, who's cheers of patriotic joy inspired our great military's fervor.

Blue DSM don't give a fuck

[Silverdream]

Rich Whiteman: That's gotta hurt.



Jack Peachson: Looks like Jack's looting his teammate.



Rich Whiteman: Now that's what I call a thick skull. Someone drank their milk today.





Rich Whiteman: Nice backhand!

[Silverdream]

Jack Peachson: Looks like we're having a camera malfunction.



Rich Whiteman: It looks like some soldiers have teleported themselves onto the field. What fools! Release the bioweapon!



Jack Peachson: Some rescue this is! He can't even shoot something an inch in front of him.



Rich Whiteman: Looks like our cameras have been fixed. Look at that.



Jack Peachson: Only two skellies in three arcs of fire? How ridiculous.



Jack Peachson: I've gotta hand it to that Ork, that is a cool looking gun.



Jack Peachson: You got fisted!



Jack Peachson: And you got disarmed!





Rich Whiteman: Looks like we're down to one player and three reinforcements.



Rich Whiteman: Yellows and Orks, bow to the might of the Republic's fearsome bioweapon.





Rich Whiteman: Watch as her grey tendrils destroy trees in seconds.





Jack Peachson: Orks aren't as tough as they say.





Jack Peachson: Neither are yellows.





Rich Whiteman: Looks like he's climbing onto the highest point of the battlefield. What a coward.







Jack Peachson: That blastgun is fearsome, but it's not very useful when all the targets are spread out.



Jack Peachson: This ork better call his Mom, because he has no arms.





Rich Whiteman: A final headbutt? I don't see the Ork getting back up with those stubby legs.





Rich Whiteman: It all ends here. There is no way out.







Jack Peachson: And that concludes today's propaganda hour. But wait, what's this?



Jack Peachson: The zombies are moving towards the bioweapon.

Rich Whiteman: They can never win. Not against a 4th dimensional being.





Jack Peachson: And that's the end.

[motorhead fan]

well, once i get my army into space, we are converging on the republic to kill them all

[Zupponn]

Gameplay: 4.5
Photography: 4
Violence: 5
Writing: 4
Overall Appeal: 4.5

Total: 22/25


The biggest problems with this battle was how confusing things got from time to time. I feel that the combination of how the narration was done and how the pictures were taken made things a little difficult to tell what was going on. I was also a little confused as to why some of the zombies were just normal peaches. That doesn't fit in with the propaganda storyline too well. Overall it was a great battle. Good work!

[Overwatch_Elite]

Gameplay: 4.5
Photography: 4.5
Violence: 5
Writing: 3.5
Overall Appeal: 4.5

Total: 22/25

I love your cult silva

[Silverdream]

The biggest problems with this battle was how confusing things got from time to time. I feel that the combination of how the narration was done and how the pictures were taken made things a little difficult to tell what was going on. I was also a little confused as to why some of the zombies were just normal peaches. That doesn't fit in with the propaganda storyline too well. Overall it was a great battle. Good work!

The zombies weren't normal peaches, they were zombie peaches. You can tell because of how ugly they are.

[cleanupcrew]

Gameplay: 4
Photography: 3.5
Violence: 4
Writing: 3
Overall Appeal: 3.5

Final score: 3.6

Finally got off my ass and did something, Zups!