Rampage at the Ruins

[Natalya]

There is an evil in this land...



Welcome to Rampage at the Ruins -- a BrikWar fought between Rayhawk, his girlfriend(?//Shinji?) Manda, and me on 18 August 2017.

This battle report will be incomplete. Because sometimes having a BrikWar is more important than photographing a BrikWar.

Rayhawk took his own photos, he might post them in his own summary.

[Natalya]

Let's introduce the teams.




In the top left corner the combined Unikitty//Space Girl army has assembled. Their hero is the lady flanked by the greek warrior ladies. They also have accomodated an old Assyrian Dreadnought.




In the top right corner is the Warhead Fanboys!! I happened to have a Warhead minifig with me, so I lent him to Mike, meaning these guys got to fight with their idol.




And starting at the ruins is a group of Space Canadians with two Frost Bikes, a S-143 Spider Tank, and a White Knight hardsuit. Space Canadian version of Major Natalya is the hero, riding on one of the bikes.

[Natalya]

TURN ONE


Manda won the roll to determine the turn order. She opted to have me go first. Turn order went in derby direction -- counter-clockwise. On the north side I moved half my guys up to fight the Unkikitties.




The other half of my guys went east to cross the bridge by the fanboys.




FIRST BLOOD
I killed the cheerleaders and I blew up a few cults with a rocket.




Mike's turn. One of the big monster guys rips off the roof of the building.




He chucked it at my guys on the bridge, but missed and it got stuck here. He did a facepalm. Mike's other guys moved up.

[Natalya]

I don't know why I took this picture but it looks cool.




Unikitty turn. Dreadnought runs up and fucking massacres my guys with its autogun. A bunch of unikitties and space girls climb on top of eachother to get aim.




This is end of Turn 1 Overwatch. But you can see above the girls and cults who climbed on eachother managed to kill my heavy jetpack guy and they killed the guy with the rocket launcher.

[Natalya]

TURN TWO


Turn two starts with a bang as my other rocket guy blows up some bikers.




My Spider Tank continues with this theme and launches 6 size-2 rockets into the Dreadnought which is heavily damaged, and knocked down to only 1 structure point left.




BOOM




Major Natalya drives her bike down the ramp and rams Warhead. She tries to shoot the guy standing next to him also, but missed.




However Warhead fails his redshirt roll and gets splattered.

I don't have photos, but my guys on the bridge fought one of the big guys, I think they did a size point of damage to him, I forget.

[Natalya]

The Warhead Fanboy army strikes back. The other big dude shoots the arm off the White Knight and knocks it down to 1 SP. They also fought me over by the bridge. One of the fanboys got his hands on an OTC in that building.




My photo-taking really broke down at this point. We're probably at like 1:30 AM here, we started really late. Maybe Rayhawk will have better photos.

Anyway, as you can see, the Unikitty army moved up and killed more Space Canadians. This Greek warrior lady chucked a spear into one of my officers. Her hero and one of the Unikitties jumped on top of the spider tank and ripped the roof off, but they couldn't kill the driver or gunner. Also, her hero did a feat where she jammed the leg of the tank causing it to fall and crush one of my guys.

[Natalya]

TURN THREE


Someone on my team sniped the Unikitty piloting the Dreadnought. The Spider Tank and White Knight tried to combine fire on one of Warhead's big guys, but I think they both missed.




Another of my guys tries to kill the dude in the OTC room by sniping him through the window, but missed. The guy tried to kill my dude with a response action, but he also missed and instead ended up destroying the entire wall due to his weapon's ossum and legendary power.




Major Natalya however managed a heroic feat and shot the big guy's arm off, which fell on his team mate who had stolen a rocket launcher from one of the guys of mine who he killed in Turn 2. I guess I didn't get comprehensive shots of what the Warhead Fanboys were up to in this battle. You'll notice at the top of this photo that there was some skirmishing between the Unikitties and Fanboys with losses on each side.




Over at the bridge one of my guys tried to drive his bike under one of the big guys, but he slipped and got knocked off. Big guy picks him up. My other guys killed a couple fanboys.




Fanboy turn. One of them steals the bike my guy lost behind the building and drives it up the side, and snipes my guy in the face.




He immediately crashes the bike.




Big guy grabs the weapon rack.




My guy response action tried to kill him but didn't.




Final photo, the Unikitty army has reduced my first squad down to a man. Spider Tank tried to shake off the Unikitty and the Hero, but the Unikitty managed to keep her grip. Hero is disrupted. The Unikitty again tried to kill the pilot but missed.



We ended the battle at the end of Turn 3 which was like around 2:30 AM. Hopefully Rayhawk gets his photos up, he was doing a better job of taking pics, so his report may be more comprehensive.

[sahasrahla]

this is fuckin beautiful

how did you get so many unikitties? i never realized how frightening they could be until I saw an army of them with assault rifles

[stubby]

You have no idea. The guys at the office put together a giant box of unikitty parts to let fans put them together at a convention, but after the first couple hundred they ran out of the round 1x1 plate with open stud that connects the horn.

So they came back with this box of a couple thousand of every unikitty part but that one. Lego economics being what they are, it's cheaper to just dumpster the bricks and make new ones than to spend the labor hours to re-inventory them. (The Lego dumpsters are the saddest sight you'll ever see. There are a bunch of them because a single dumpster isn't enough.) Normally we're required to dispose of used Lego for a whole list of reasons, but this was all categorized as never-used, so it was up for grabs to anyone in the office who wanted it. Which, in this case, was me.

TL, DR; now I'm the proud owner of a couple thousand unikitties minus that one piece.

[Venge]

You have no idea. The guys at the office put together a giant box of unikitty parts to let fans put them together at a convention, but after the first couple hundred they ran out of the round 1x1 plate with open stud that connects the horn.

So they came back with this box of a couple thousand of every unikitty part but that one. Lego economics being what they are, it's cheaper to just dumpster the bricks and make new ones than to spend the labor hours to re-inventory them. (The Lego dumpsters are the saddest sight you'll ever see. There are a bunch of them because a single dumpster isn't enough.) Normally we're required to dispose of used Lego for a whole list of reasons, but this was all categorized as never-used, so it was up for grabs to anyone in the office who wanted it. Which, in this case, was me.

TL, DR; now I'm the proud owner of a couple thousand unikitties minus that one piece.

What the legit fuck. That makes me physically angry that they just throw out Briks.

[Tzan]

First battle on the new terrain! Looks great.

---

Lego Economics Problems
Not a problem for everyone though.

I'd like to assume that the Unikitty army rides in the Louis Vuitton bag.

[Venge]

What kind of reasons justify throwing out used Lego? Health and germ concerns? It's not that hard to clean, and just think of how many kids (and non-kids) would love cheap Lego. Hell, if you legally can't sell it just sterilize it and give it to poor kids or something, or put it out with a free sign on it.

Sorry for the rant but I'm seriously thinking of driving up there and going dumpster-diving (yes I know it's not allowed).

[sahasrahla]

yeah when kids spill lego from the pick-a-brick bins we're supposed to just sweep it up and toss it. very sad

[Venge]

yeah when kids spill lego from the pick-a-brick bins we're supposed to just sweep it up and toss it. very sad

*accidentally spills my entire pick-a-brick cup next time I'm at Lego store*

"I guess it's free now!"

That's incredibly fucking stupid, just bag all the assorted bricks and sell them in bags for half-price, takes very little labor and now you're losing half as much money. I mean, holy shit, I always though TLG was ahead of the curve in not wasting resources.

[dilanski]

You have no idea. The guys at the office put together a giant box of unikitty parts to let fans put them together at a convention, but after the first couple hundred they ran out of the round 1x1 plate with open stud that connects the horn.

So they came back with this box of a couple thousand of every unikitty part but that one. Lego economics being what they are, it's cheaper to just dumpster the bricks and make new ones than to spend the labor hours to re-inventory them. (The Lego dumpsters are the saddest sight you'll ever see. There are a bunch of them because a single dumpster isn't enough.) Normally we're required to dispose of used Lego for a whole list of reasons, but this was all categorized as never-used, so it was up for grabs to anyone in the office who wanted it. Which, in this case, was me.

TL, DR; now I'm the proud owner of a couple thousand unikitties minus that one piece.

Like, are these things guarded? As I'm willing to go dumpster diving.

Actually, my local lego stores have metric crap-tonnes of lego for kids to just play with. Does that all just get thrown as well? Are there thousands of dumpsters across the globe filled with lego that is ripe for some enterprising AFoL's to go digging through.

Also holy fuck, I thought lego was trying to be green. Does that seriously all go to landfill? Are all these world record sized lego models now just landfill somewhere?