Following the bloody battle between frontier fighters of the Minifig Kingdom and Forest Faeries...
...there was a rising tension and even panic amongst the subjects of the medieval faction. The Black Monarch was furious, as the defeat of his contingent of knights and men-at-arms was at the hands of filthy pastel-coloured peaches and worst of all, forest-dwelling women! The death of a few soldiers and even a dragon was nothing - there were plenty more where that came from. The danger was in the idea that if even lowly peach-girls who were not even real traditional minifigs could defeat the Black Monarch's men, how could he hope to keep on oppressing his female subjects? Let alone the serfs keeping his system of constant feasting and warfaring up and running?! Absolutely unacceptable, this defeat!!
But, in the end, the faeries were ugly peaches and The Black Monarch's subjects were representatives of the glorious yellow race. It was easy to raise outrage amongst the kingdom and a mob was quickly formed to launch a punishment strike into Faerie lands. A pact was made with dwarves that they could grind down as much of the forest as they wished, as long as they supported the war effort by first clearing a way for the army and assisting in combat if needed. The dwarves accepted outright - to fuel the furnaces and to stick it to the faerie elves.
But the Black Monarch knew this would not be enough. The raving rabble would serve as good pixie powder fodder for sure, but a strong core of armed professionals would be needed to ensure a good ravaging. But his vassals, the cowards, gathered all sorts of feeble excuses to not partake. The real reason was that they were lazy to bear the thought of having to dismount and fight on foot if the forest demanded it. Therefore they kept on mumbling nonsense counterarguments about chivalry, the enemy being of the weaker sex and even that peaches weren't so bad, when you think of it. After the latter opinion's presenter was pulled apart by four horses and torched by the Monarch's favourite dragon, an opportunity presented itself. An elite force of Vladtron shadow warriors led by a Vladtron Lord agreed to lead the attack, only demanding to keep all the more magical loot that could be gathered from ransacking Faerie Fortresses.
So, this is a battle report of a game fought mainly between me and Maddox as a sequel to the Skirmish in the Fairy Forest. A third party intervened in the end but it only added flavor as most of the battle was fought by then. The pictures are mostly taken from my point of view and the context of this report MAY be heavily biased to favor the agenda of the minifig empire. No regrets, and sorry Maddox . Maddox maybe will post his own report of this game sometime soon, maybe taking more of a pixie perspective on the conflict. If you enjoy seeing peaches and girly legos slaughtered by manly brik-knights, continue onwards! (the Minifig may have taken some casualties as well, allegedly)
WARNING: MORE OR LESS GARISHLY SATURATED PHOTOS MAY HURT YOUR EYES, IT IS RELATED TO THE PLOT THO
*The pictures are of mixed quality. They were taken by phone without too much effort so don't expect much. It goes worse as the battle progresses. Not only minifigs tire of prolonged battles you know!*
As the punishment force ventured further into the pastel colored and disgustingly idyllic fantasy forest, the world around them seemed ever more vibrant and disturbingly colorful. As the towers of the faerie palace started to loom over the treetops, they could see their own skin and outfits produce an unnatural glow. This eye-hurting magic was clearly a sign of great evil, reassuring that a glorious massacre of the faeries and the total annihilation of their home was a noble cause...
The vanguard was led by roaring and terrifying dwarven machines designed to cut down forest in swathes. And of course, to decimate the occasional sylvan hippie objecting this industry. They were followed by a bloodthristy mob of incompetent but spirited peasants and townsfolk. A charismatic invidual agitated the crowd by reminding them of pixie mischief: abducting of healthy yellow minifig babies to swap them for hideous peach mutants, turning the livestock against their owners and giving women the right to have an opinion regarding something important. The mob's fiercest warriors were in fact minifg girls who didn't want to give up their advantageous place in society where they could be the centre of manly minifig action as they were rescued and fought over. They would lose out their most perfect role of !! Shortly behind the mob a more organised unit of Minifig Kingdom spearmen advanced in a classic phalanx formation. Some scouts led this whole vanguard ahead.
From the farthest reachest of the Minifig Kingdom (read: my toybox) a Big Dodgu Knight of The Cereal Order has arrived to fight the peach scum. His motivation is quite simple: he has always been seen as a hideous being, being a single cast monstrosity and something of a worse case scenario between a normal Dodgu knight and A giant Dodgu Knight. He is here to lead his comparably ugly Gargantuan razgrizzly squires into a glorious death charge. Either he gets put out of his misery or accepted into the Minifg Kingdom by slaying even worse monsters than himself: peach faeries.
The more elite part of the host included the mighty Dragonlord Sir Lance-<a href='http://tinyurl.com/y42zurt'>alot</a> riding his brutal red dragon from the northern volcano islands. He is here to ensure that no peach remains unslain to disrespect the righteous rule of the Black Monarch. All hail The Minifig Kingdom! He is accompanied by his Black Falcon friend riding a hippogryph. The Vladtron Lord is mounted on a small but ferocious firewyrm leading a unit of heavy vladtron cavarly. These guys REALLY don't like rainbow colors, they get PTSD from it, including visions of a super annoyingly fast blue falcon knight, for example. These are knights only in title, faerie ladies beware. Vladtron shadow warrior infantry follows suit, ready to storm enemy positions with the help of Vladtron signature scorpions.
A shadow warrior suffering from extreme gigantism is ready for some killing, looting and burning. He suffers from a constant headache, and the only good remedy is...killing, looting and burning. A pair of Pyromancers also accompanied the Vladtron force.
Last but not least, the pair of furious Vladtron Infernophants were brought along for their fearful presence....and their ability to use their trunks as flamethrowers. Also because of cannons on their backs Btw, is that a Sea serpent on the background?
The battle's start is signaled by the roar of dwarven engines echoing between the trees. The dwarven drivers do what they do best, not giving much thought about the critters minced in the process.
As the mob realizes that they have finally reached their destination, they surge forward, screaming and shouting, wawing all sorts of weapons in the air and lighting fires as they go. The Faeries seem to have been surprised right during the middle of some festivity. One can be almost certain that they were sacrificing kittens and puppies over there! Or worse...
Before the faeries can react, the loud bellowing of the infernophants and the cannons on their backs firing fill the air. The infernophants light nearby trees on fire, while the cannons claim a victim - some strange faerie bath-servant.
Dodgus assault squad starts storming the bath. Faeries scream in shock at the sight of these shambling beasts! Yeti:
Most bathgoers flee in terror (probably wise) while musketfaeries and a scout come to confront the attackers. One faerie with scissors and a comb decides to stay and take on the yeti razgrizzly (probably unwise). She gets Big shield-shoved right back into a pool.
At the treetops a strange faerie machine probably by some wicked means acts as a spying eye and alerts the faerie headquarters.
Fire! Foe! Danger! On the dancefloor the mass of faeries start fleeing in panic! Rightly so! (spoiler, they just started a run for the armory) Some armed ones try to form some defensive lines.
The whole surrounding nature is against the invaders. Faerie sea creatures are ready for a scrap.
The bath is overrun! The foolish faerie knocked into a pool is finished by a wholesome halberdchop into the chest. The mob kicks down flowers as it goes and stomp on any faerie items they happen to stumble upon.
The dwarven machines rumble forward, cutting down forest as they go. The one on the left is targeted several times by musketfire and the beardy fellow is eventually brought down from the controls of the machine.
The infernophants are not happy about the rate at which the trees near them are burning down, so they start bringing them down with brute force. The cannons fire some shots at structures, causing general mayhem.
On the other end, faerie leaders stage the evacuation of defenseless faerie scum....into the armoury to make them murderous faerie scum! The sneaky pastel pixies! Meanwhile, a faerie hero sorceress mounts an unnamed monstrosity...
The waterbeasts went on the attack, forming a brawl between three minifigs and a dolphin. Unpictured, this flank was relieved by the falcon knight. He single-handedly lanced a dolphin, the big ugly fish, and the faerie tortoise. All praise the minifg kingdom and its brave knights!
In the central hideously flashy dance floor the faeries were forming a ever growing resistance, protecting the retreat of unarmed peaches. Nevertheless, they will all be crushed under the righteous might of the minifig kingdom!
Because of growing musket fire, the frontal assault is made by the big targets with big shields - Dodgu and templedog razgrizzly, furious about the pixiegunpowdery death of their yeti razgrizzly companion. The spear phalanx starts their advance behind the mob. Some of the mob members try to man the now unpiloted dwarven machine. As one of their number struggles to skillfully operate it, they push it forward as moving cover.
Eager to stop this kind of activity, the sorceress faerie riding the hellish pastel beast swoops down and disables the dwarven machine by ripping off cables. Outrageous! As the faerie defense intensifies, the awful saturation seems to get stronger...
Check-mate! Sir Lance-<a href='http://tinyurl.com/y42zurt'>alot</a> performs his own signature move, lancing the glitter out of the faerie beast and slaying it in a most knightly way. (before this the other dwarven machine tried to cut the thing but let us not speak of those skill rolls)
Now that's <a href='http://tinyurl.com/y42zurt'>alot</a> of damage!
One of the infernophants crumbles obstacles along the way and arrives to bring fire support and further chaos into the central area.
Soon after, the area looks like a total mess, with the now dead infernophant contributing to the clusterfuck. The faerie heroes are both at the frontlines, fighting the invaders quite bravely, well, as bravely peach women can. The members of the Minifig Kingdom regognize the other with the cyan hair and pink flower in her hat - the murderous leader of the earlier skirmish!! The mob is filled with rage as their leader points this out. Dodgu is alive btw, he is just kinda disoriented by massed musket fire, dueling with heroes and beset upon by ferocious cults. He doesn't mind though, and keeps on swinging and missing again and again. I guess he can't really see from his helmet that much.
Disgusted by the growing vibrancy of their surroundings, the edgy shadow knights waste no time scaling the difficult terrain on the left flank. They are storming the armoury building, which also has a upstairs caffee. The mass of faeries on the other side of the building are on a race against time. The infernophant does his part by burninating passing faeries and their creatures, but they are too many. They also, in secrecy, build an alternative entrance to the place, the tricksters! Scorpions, hungry for peach blood, scale the walls towards their prey.
Judging the centre to be too clustered for an organized advance, the phalanx occupies the bath area, trying to ignore the smell of a dead, wet razgrizzly when...
...the other dwarven machine falls right into the midst of them from above, crushing a good portion half of the phalanx outright. "Wicked Faerie Witchcraft!!!" , sir Lance-<a href='http://tinyurl.com/y42zurt'>alot</a> shouts before anyone can realize it was dropped by his dragon due to a failed feat. The remaining phalanx and closeby militia are filled with rage and proceed to murder the sorceress faerie hero who dropped along the dwarven wreck. The soldiers hack her apart, but also hit her wand, which then explodes and kills her assailants as well. BOOM!! With her death, the saturated glow seems to dissipate for a bit, to the great relief of minifig soldiers...
In the centre the casualties are rising - mostly in the form of faerie warcats and minifig mob members. But behold! A wounded Cereal-Knight Dodgu manages to slay (with the aid of a few bennies, ahem) the remaining withdrawing faerie hero, who was responsible for the minifig defeat of the last encounter between these factions!!! A great victory, one which ensures that Dodgu will be remembered fondly by all subjects of the minfig kingdom! (seriously, dodgu was a beast, absorbing loads of musket fire and staying alive dueling a hero. Also, the hero was the only one he hit with his axe - and that hit was with a benny ) Saturation almost falls into normal levels. The Faerie lines are shaking, and it would seem that the battles decisive moments were happening...
Lowering the morale of faerie inhabitants further, a deep booming laughter arrived. It had a sinister metallic sound to it - it came from the helmet of the Vladtron Giant. He was ready for some pillage and plunder!
The gargantuan advanced, laughing as he crushed the remains of the Infernophant-ravaged trees under armour-plated boots. He has a nice view on the general carnage. A vladtron assassin can be seen in this picture for a few moments before he disappears into shadows...
Alas, on the other side of the battlefield the brave Black Falcon knight is ripped apart by concentrated faerie markspixieship. His mount is very loyal (or just feral) though, and rejects a faerie band member's attempt to make contact quite viciously.
Apologies for lacking a good photo of a most sad instance: the red dragon is brought spiraling down from the air by a continuous barrage of cannon and musketfire, and crashes headfirst into a faerie tower. The beast is slain, but not before it managed to burninate 2 of the faerie cannons and their crew atop the faerie headquarters.
Sir Lance-<a href='http://tinyurl.com/y42zurt'>alot</a> wastes no time, channeling the loss of his mount into a manly and sweaty steelclad sprint to get into revenge-range(feat). A true egalitarian, he swings his age-old chrome sword (rumored to been wielded by revered Count Shinypants, the hero of Brikpass ) with no remorse on a fleeing faerie.
Although the faeries have suffered a great loss in heroes, the central area's bodies are still mainly those of minifig mobmembers'. Both sides are still totally eager for further bloodletting!
The faerie combined musketfire is largely ineffective despite the abundance of targets, but a wicked and rare male faerie invidual armed with a vicious halberd sees an opening on the inaware-of-his-surroundings dodgu and delivers a fatal strike! Dodgu falls, but his sacrifice shall not be forgotten! He dies with a feeling of belonging...
...and a mass of minifig feet trampling over him to reach their faerie foes. Continued frenzied charges from the Minifig kingdom force the faeries to continue further on their organized retreat. Sir Lance-<a href='http://tinyurl.com/y42zurt'>alot</a> singehandedly takes care of the right flank, drawing the attention of numerous musketeers to the great relief of the main force. Faeries taunt the knight a coward for using such heavy armor but he just laughs. The faeries are probably just jealous because their mutated bodies can't be equipped with such fine items
Vladtron cavarly arrives, hooves thundering and threatening flags waving!
Seeing this, the faeries pack into a tighter formation. A large number of faeries also withdraw from the armoury building...
Can't really blame them. Vicious indoor fighting and plentiful burninating not mentioning scorpion bites would drive anyone out. The faeries did manage to salvage deadly weaponry though...including 2 strange boomdevices (size 3 rockets )
It doesn't take long for the horsemen to reach the main battle, and regrouping, the minifig kingdom readies for a final assault. A distant booming can be heard coming from the sea - a faerie warship provides long range bombardment on the central area now overrun by minifigs. Most of them get out of the way though, only a few mob members exploded who failed their sprints. The booming of the sea cannons alerts the attention of further Minifig Kingdom reinforcements (who arrive later)
The faerie armoury-cafe is now completely overrun by Vladtron forces. The Vladtron lord is personally inspecting the successful assault on top of the building when he sees IT along with other Vladtron troops - the faeries have constructed a most terrifying giant heart-emoji and put it on a pedestal, chanting in some evil language and waving their peachy hands and pastel hair all around! The saturation intensifies yet again, to levels above ever witnessed!!
The faeries have turned in their desperation to their darkest gods and summoned an incarnation of their pantheon's devil! Along with the Baalvillain arrive ferocious and unnatural Bayonicle spiders, ready to consume minifigures of all sizes and colors...
After being the target of a size 3 rocket strike, the giant Vladtron is feeling quite dizzy. In exhaustion he drops his weapons, and feeling himself slowly turning pink, he shambles forward in confusion. Reverting to the most simple tactics he learned from giant school, he starts leaning over the faerie formation...
CRUSH If people are trying to bring you down, fall on top of them.
Seeing the direness of the situation and the danger the faerie weapons posess, the Vladtron Lord tries his best to emulate THE Lord Vladtrons mind-control skills to get the faerie holding the other rocket to detonate it. The rocket is detonated for sure - but in the Vladtron hero's face, killing his wyrm. The Lord is alright, though shocked as he sees that the most sacred things in brikwars are also turning pink - fire and blood!