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Turn 0 - Prologue and Initial Overview

Tidings are far from calm in the small town of Studland. For months now, Daucus Legion troopers, commonly referred to as "carroteers", have been using the region as an outpost for their military efforts. A while ago, they brought a damaged heavy tank into the local garage for repairs, hoping to get it back to the frontline as soon as possible.

Meanwhile, the Studland Armed Forces are very displeased and have been plotting to take back control of their beloved town. Money is tight, but a heavy tank contains just the valuables they need. So the Studlanders conveniently replaced most of the engineers employed at the garage for their own rebel soldiers and stripped the tank of its crucial parts. These parts are now hidden throughout town, awaiting pickup to be sold off at the black market.




The final stage of their scheme is now underway. Loading the heavy tank with an explosive gas cannister, they prepare to blow it to smithereens, thereby covering the tracks of their sabotage from the carroteers.


Meanwhile, one of the other engineers smelled troubled. Like the decent citizen he is, he headed over to the nearest squad of Daucans to report the sabbotage. He finds himself talking to Officer Sydeburns. Enraged by the sabotage, the officer tells his men to prepare, ...


... just as captain Abraham McKennie of the Studlanders arrives at the garage to set the final stage of their plan in explosive motion.




"Vamos!" shouts Officer Sydeburns. Two troopers prepare to flank the back of the garage, while the officer leads the rest of his men in a charge head-on.


"We got incoming! Carroteers headed our way!"
"Buy me some time!" yells Captain Abraham as he gets to work with priming the explosive charge. His men pull out their weapons and prepare to hold off the Daucan assault.

Initial Overview



The battle begins as the Daucus Legion troopers round the corner and lay eyes on the garage, ready for some shootin'.

Turn 1

Daucus Legion

The Daucans have the initiative.



The squad under command of Officer Sydeburns moves forward. One of them has to pull an epic sprint to keep up, because he was taking a piss when all this hassle started. The sprint did not disappoint.

One Daucan trooper opens fire on the only Studlander in range....



... killing him instantly. The response fire however is also effective, ...



... resulting in another immediate kill.

Officer Sydeburns and the other troopers in the squad save their actions for response fire.



The Daucan troopers that were headed for the back of the garage speed into action. A critical failure on the sprint roll result in one of them tumbling to the ground, while the other is more lucky and reaches the top of the stairs leading to the garage roof.

Studland Armed Forces



The Studland driver backs his car up to enable the evacuation of Captain Abraham.



One of the Studlanders moves into the garage and opens fire on Officer Sydeburns, but doesn't roll enough damage to beat his armor. The response fire from Sydeburns however is effective - the Studlanders weapon is destroyed and he has his hand blown off.



The other studlanders take up defensive positions to give Captain Abraham some time to place the explosive and set the timer.

Turn 2

Daucus Legion



The Daucan trooper on the roof surprises the Studlander behind the tank from above. She misses the shot, unfortunately.



The missed shot blows a hole in one of the fuel cells of the tank. The liquid bursts out, immediately catching fire.



Officer Sydeburns fires at the Studlander in the garage, this time to no effect at all.
The other troopers round the corner and kill the Studlander with the red hat. He returns fire but misses the shot.

Studland Armed Forces



Captain Abraham McKennie runs to the car and jumps in, believing this whole place is going to blow way ahead of schedule.



The Studlander with the grey hat observes danger right, left and center - he decides to make a run for safety towards the back of the garage.



Having lost his weapon and filled with rage, the injured Studlander grabs a hammer and charges into close combat. He swings the tool at the first orange minifig he sees, and lands a destructive blow. The carroteer is brutally killed.



The car with Captain Abraham in it speeds off, plotting either a drive-by shooting or a swift escape.

Turn 3

Additional forces join the battle!





The Studland Armed Forces realize their rebellion has officially begun. They have assembled to win back control of their town. Luiz Veragua, veteran of many wars, dragon of the south, carrying weapons almost as fearsome as his mustache, leads their charge.



On the other side of the battlefield, a company of soldiers from the Python Kingdom arrive. They are led by Lenny Havoc himself. The presence of Python Kingdom warriors instills great rage in the hearts of any Daucan trooper - Pythonians are their sworn enemy.



Surrounded by danger, the remaining Daucan troopers look to the horizon to find their army of reinforcements. What they see is just as encouraging as an entire company of infantry: a lone Imperator Battle Mech.
"I came as fast as I could" reports the pilot over his coms. "More help is on the way".

Initiative is re-rolled: Studland Armed Forces move first, followed by Python Kingdom and Daucus Legion.

Studland Armed Forces



The injured Studlander swings his hammer at the orange wanker who took his right hand. His attack is once again successfull: Officer Sydeburns is killed in a mighty blow.



The driver of the studlander car tries to drive by the carroteers slowly to be able to do some shootin'. He critfails and thus sends his car full throttle towards the approaching army of Pythonians, leaving himself and Captain Abraham rather vulnerable this turn.



The assassin droid, Sad Archer and a Studland grunt combine fire to (just barely) kill one of the remaining Daucans on the garage rooftop by shooting him in the back. A Studland axefighter scales the garage stairs. One squad of Studlanders moves into the civilian house while Boba Fett holds the door for them. Most other troops march into battle following their hero Luiz.



How polite.



The Studlander truck, armed with a machine gun, moves out to support the flank. A Studlander rewards the mechanic who exposed their plan to the carroteers with a headshot.
"Snitches get Stitches!"

Python Kingdom



Lenny Havoc immediately gets to work doing what he does best: inflicting carnage. He jumps on the car, slicing off Captain Abrahams right arm with his broadsword and shooting the driver in the face.





The Pythonian troops spread out without firing a single shot.



The driver of the armored car drives straight at Luiz Veragua and his squad. He hopes to deploy the boarded ninja troopers in the center of battle, where their karate skills are most usefull.



A Pythonian rocketeer enters the civilian house and heads up the stairs. He comes face to face with a surprised lady, who is standing on the rather dirty but completely empty first floor. What to make of this...?

Daucus Legion



The Daucan trooper who is stuck on the garage roof heads for cover. She turns around and shoots the approaching axefighter in the face.



The other trooper takes a shot at the Studlander with the hammer. He critfails, blowing up his weapon. Completely defenseless, he fears what the crazed madman will do to him next turn...



The Battle Mech moves forward with swift and speedy steps. With a mighty swing, the pilot brings the arm with two machine guns into firing position. He pulls the trigger, sending a hail of fiery shells towards the Pythonian infantry.



The results are devastating. Out of the 5 minifigs (including Havoc) within his firing arc, 3 are brutally killed. The Battle Mech immediately takes away the title of 'Most Deadly Sucker so far" from hammerman.



The fuel that spilled from the heavy tank stops burning, the explosive gas cannister intact. Had Captain Abraham known the situation was not as explosive as expected, he might have held onto his right arm.

Overview at the end of turn 3

Turn 4



More Pythonian troops arrive to support the heroic Lenny Havoc in his battles.

Studland Armed Forces



Hammerman turns around, swings his weapon and scores yet another kill, rolling formidable numbers for both skill and damage again!



Having decimated half of the carroteers single-handedly (literally), the sheer power of ossum transforms this Studlander and his hammer into the fearsome Manhammer.



Captain Abraham manages to shove the dead driver out of the car and shift the car to reverse. He presses the gas pedal with his remaining hand, moving the car slightly away from the immediate threat of Lenny Havoc's broadsword.



On the other side of the battlefield, Luiz Veragua attempts to heroically stop the incoming Pythonian truck by throwing his axe at it.





The plan works out as stupidly as it sounds. Undeterred, the car continues it's path and slams into Luiz. Fortunately for him, his armor roll holds up nicely, but he is knocked back significantly. The impact brings the car to a full stop and launches the Pythonian ninja troopers straight into the middle of close combat.



The surrounding Studlanders react by hacking away at the ninjas. One of them is melee'd to death by 3 studlanders, one of which uses his rifle as a club. The giant dwarf attacks another ninja, but loses an arm to the skillful parry. A studland gunner tries to disengage from close combat but finds himself cut in half in the resulting counterattack.



Assassinbot and two Studland gunners move to the garage rooftop and attempt to make short work of the remaining Daucan trooper. The droid kills the carroteer, but the other two critfail their shots resulting in a fatality.



In the rear, Sad Archer is looking sad. He fires his crossbow, but misses the shot - the arrow flies off and destroys Boba Fett's blaster. Oh no...



Boba dives to the ground, grabbing the blaster from the halved Studlander. He fires and hits the helmet of the Pythonian - her armor holds, but she is temporarily blinded. Her next attack will be in a random direction.



Three Studland gunners take on firing positions in the house, facing the central crossing.



Firing their rifles from the main window they kill one Pythonian trooper.



Lastly, the heavy truck speeds into action. The machinegunner fires at the Pythonian troopers - he easily kills the first, but the gun jams on the next shot.

Python Kingdom



The 2 remaining Pythonian ninjas continue their melee. One of them kills the giant dwarf, while the unaimed attack of the other ninja strikes a small section of brick wall.



The driver of the black truck spots a much more awesome vehicle: the heavy tank. He exits his car, picks up Luiz' axe, and sprints behind Manhammer towards the tank, hoping to drive it before the battle is over.



Two Pythonian heavy troopers enter the blue house and open fire on the Studlanders on the street, but fail to deal any damage.



The Pythonian scout shoots a Studlander in the window. The rocketeer launches his explosive payload at the same section of their hideout.



The rocket creates a giant hole in the wall the Studlanders were standing behind, blowing their cover.



The rocketeer that found himself on the dirty first floor of the white building decides to team up with the pretty lady. A game of rock-paper-scissors decides that they will first do some house cleaning before launching an assault on the enemies outside.



Lenny Havoc rallies the newly arrived squad to take on the Daucan mech. Combining fire from 4 blasters and a gun cart, they deal a whopping 39 damage to it. The mech takes 3 points of Structure Damage, reducing it's effective size from 5'' to 2''. Additionally, the machine gun on it's right arm is entirely destroyed.

Daucus Legion



The Daucan Battle Mech retaliates by swinging it's mighty lasersword at the ill-mannered Pythonian infantry. He slams both a trooper and Lenny, but luckily for the latter, the officer behind him redshirts and tanks all the damage. The two Pythonians are swiftly cut in half.

Turn 5 - Final Turn

Studland Armed Forces


Luiz picks himself up from the ground and blasts the head ninja to bits with his assault rifle. The squad kills the other Pythonian ninja, even though one of the studlanders hopelessly fails his skill roll and melee's a yellow car instead. Sad Archer kneels down to be able to hear the last words of Giant Dwarf.


Assassinbot and the studlander on the roof attack the Pythonian driver from above. Unfortunately, the object detection software in assassinbots brain critically fails, resulting in a point-blank execution of his squadmate.


Boba jetpacks to the house roof and takes a shot, but misses.


A studland rocketeer fires at the blue house where two Pythonian heavy troopers are hiding. The front of the house is heavily damaged, but the structure holds. The troopers inside are knocked back and disrupted, but otherwise unharmed.


The manliest studlander on the field advances, fires his blaster, and mortally wounds the Pythonian scout trooper.


Tan Stan exits his truck and runs towards the wounded and unconscious Captain Abraham. He drags him out of the car and brings him to safety together with the heavy gunner.


Even in T5, Manhammer has not had enough of swinging his deadly weapon at Daucan troops. With all his might, he slams the left leg of the already damaged battlemech, and it gives.


Succumbing to all the damage sustained from fighting on two fronts, the battlemech is destroyed. It tumbles to the ground, crushing Manhammer in the process.

!!Daucus Legion defeated!!


Lenny Havoc removes his helmet and takes a good look around. He then orders his men to stand down.

"The raw courage and brutal determination of Manhammer fills my heart with joy. It's been a while since I have seen someone inflict this much havoc single-handedly. I shall conclude this battle at it's epic climax, for I fear that the remainder of this confrontation shall drain my satisfaction rather than add to it. My fight with Luiz Veragua can wait for it's own date and time - he was seriously underwhelming today anyway.