[HH22] War in Studland

[bertinator]

It's almost the end of october. My minifigs are looking very excited. I've never seen them so happy. I think they are going to war.

This is...

WAR IN STUDLAND



TURN 0

TURN 1

TURN 2

TURN 3

THIRTEEN

TURN 3b

TURN 4

EPILOGUE

[bertinator]

OVERWATCH

The Ronin of Daucus City are invading Studland, and Lenny Havoc is back leading the Astral Dutch to add to the carnage.

Lenny Havoc leads the Astral Dutch. Forces are divided in red, white and blue company - they include a tank, a rocketcart, 2 rockettroopers, medik and mechanik.




Gustavo, formely known as the green goblin, leads a warparty of Ronin forces from the hills into Studland City. This includes 8 heavy troopers (with 4 rocket launchers), a Razor (ninja) squad, a medik, a mechanik, and a battlemech.






Bertinator is in charge of the Studland defensive forces, who have been reinforced with 2 armored vehicles and a squad of GGE dudes. Also includes a medik, mechanik and 2 rockettroopers.





Initial Overwatch:

[bertinator]

TURN 1 - Astral Netherlands


The tonk moves up and fires a round at the Ronin mech but misses




Blue company, aka 'rocket men', move around and into the noodle shop.




A dutchie confiscates a piri piri chicken drumstick from the chef. The seated worker knows better than to intervene.




White company moves towards the bar. Lenny enters and...




"Goodday y'all. A bunch of anime weebs in carrot-coloured costumes are coming to destroy this magnificent bar. It's time to take up arms and fight 'em off!"




Feat Succesfull! The guest form a defensive line around the bar. 5 of them are able to fight, the last one just needs a minute.




Meanwhile...


"A beer, please."




Red Company forms a perimeter in front of the Noodle Shop.




One dutchie walks into the garage and politely asks the engineer if he could borrow the red vehicle. That's fine with the engineer, it's not his car anyway and he doesn't want any trouble.




Turn 1 - Ronin


"Enough with the talking and plotting, let's get to the violence."


The razor commander inspires the squad to haul ass off the hill and into combat. Their charge is so quick that nobody is able to use response fire




They decide to attack the mob first




The tusken manages to evade 2 blades and use the far end of his blaster to take out a Razor. The archer dies to a katana to the chest.




The Liossan knight dies, but manages to take out a Razor down as well.




The construction worker is chopped up, by the Razor's attack but largely due to critfailing the action roll of his chainsaw.




A razor tries to attack the creepy wizard, but he reponds with a magical knockback




The ronin heavies perform a tactical descent off the hill. Two fire their blasters...




Which means the end of a dutch commander and the ninja standing behind him.




The mech moves up and readies the gunz. It knocks over a tree, barely missing the heavies but blocking their path.




The mech targets the tank but both shots sail wide. One obliterates a dutchie, the other a Razor.




Gustavo's men and 1 rocketeer begin to cross the bridge. The medik sprints towards the bloody carnage, the mechanik and rocket troopers follow behind.




Gustavo kicks a wall. It doesn't give. (feat failed)




These men ready response fire. One searches a wooden bin near the water.




He finds a "Critfail Die"! This will be used to help determine the outcome of critfails the rest of the battle.




Since he's the one who found it, he gets to roll it once to unleash something unto the Studlanders. The spooky side comes up...

"ONE" is heard in a spooky voice all across town. What could this mean?




A ghost appears behind a Studland soldier and grabs him from behind.




Turn 1 - Studlanders


3 Studland Aviators move up to face the Ronin, but are just out of range. The guy who was grabbed frees himself from the grab, turns around and sees... nothing.




The GGE guys head into the house. The homeowner was just handing coffee to the elektrician who fixed the lights.




The armored car moves to the end of the street, still in cover. A studland civilian is enjoying a beverage on his roof.




The driver then attempts a stunt drive to flip the car and expose the rocket pods to the dutchies. He critfails...

"Two"




A skeleton appears on the hood of the car, mooning the driver with what was one its ass.




Caveboss Boki inspires the Studland Miners to advance quickly across the sandy field. Bertinator assembles a squad and heads into the ST-70 class gunship undergoing repairs.




"Hey guys, how about you release these two chumps from their carbonite freeze. They might be willing to help us."

Greeblo pushes some buttons, and the un-freezing begins. (Feat succes)




The armored truck speeds through the street and onto the battlefield, followed by two rocketboys.

Boba Fett heads into the antique store.




"Good day Mr. Fett, and welcome to Tzan's Curiosa and Militaria! Here, you will find a wide range of ancient LEGO items, beautifully preserved. Have a look around. I have an old warhead in the back as well, if you would like to see that, hmm?"




Din Djarin heads through the convenience store with the medik, mechanik and officer Abraham. Mando is in a hurry, but the others are distracted by what the store has to offer: 6 flavors of Maniac Beer and delicious chicken!




TURN 1 OVERWATCH

[bertinator]

TURN 2 - Astral Netherlands


Two dutchies open fire on a miner. The rest move up.




Red car dutchie backs out of the garage and into the miner squad.




No miners were killed, only one is knocked back




Right flank of the red division opens fire on the GGE squad indoors. GGE returns fire - they go 1 for 1.

The elektrician and homeowner manage to bail out of the way.




Blue squad moves up - the ninjas prepare an ambush from the foliage, the noodle troopers head up the stairs to the first floor. Rocketguy prepares to fire his weapon...




He launches the missile right into the squad of Ronin heavies. Two bail out of the way, two are blown to bits.




Driver of the rocket cart decides he'd rather hang out with red division.




The Tusken tries to swing his rifle like a club again, but critfails.

"THREE"

A bird swoops down and attacks the tusken, hoping to gather some nesting material. The tusken is disrupted.




The wizard uses his SN staff to cast a very OG fireball at the Ronin officer, who bails out of the way.




The tonk backs up and fires at the mech. The damage roll (4d6) is too poor to beat the armor.

The mechanik and machine gunner relocate to gain a better view of the situation.




A dutch trooper attempts to shoot a Razor but critfails.

"Four"

He chickens out and hides behind the bar




This dutchie is more succesful and shoots a Razor




The medik begins reviving a fallen soldier while the firetrooper prepares to engulf any enemies that round the corner in flames.




Lenny grabs a full bottle of Maniac Beer from the bar and heads over to the roof.




He chugs it all in one go. Then unzips his pants and empties his bladder on the men below.




... and then falls backwards and passes out. (Feat failed)




Turn 2 - Ronin


A Razor tries to kill the tusken but only manages to disarm him. The attacking bird now completely has the upper hand.




2 razors attack the strange wizard, but he uses his other SN die to boost his armor by 2 and deflect the blows.




The commander gets up and moves towards the dutch machinegunner. A Razor tries to follow but critfails the sprint roll.

"Five"

He almost succumbs to the heat on the beach, and decides to take a dive instead.




This does trigger a response action from the machine gunner, who manages to kill both the civilian lifeguard ánd the Ronin officer.




Even though the tonk tried to back out of the situation before, the battlemech is able to close the gap and connect a swing with the giant sword.

The attack deals 2 points of size damage to the tank - 3 remain.




Bonus shot




The medik begins stitching up a fallen ninja




The ronin mechanik moves up. He hatches a plan to take down the entire bar and turn it into an awesome warmachine.




A Ronin heavy missile trooper moves to the edge of the cliff and prepares to repay the dutch scum who blew up his heavy buddies




The rocket hits and deals a great amount of damage, killing two dutchies and a nearby construction worker




These Ronin advance guns blazing. 2 Aviators and 1 Ronin trooper go down.




Gustavo leads 3 men over the wall and into the garden




1 Ronin trooper boards the blue car and speeds through the street that was just torched by the rocket. Epic.




These guys advance and help one heavy out of the water.




The other heavy prepares to start the engine on the rubber boat, as she sees an orange figure.

"I know that this boat belongs to Ooyama!" he sais.

"Oh, well, uhhmm, are you using it?"

"Nah, I just inspect some models!"

"Wanna go for a ride then?"




And since ronin with green skin can be very persuasive, Ooyama agrees. They speed towards the beach.




Gustavo uses his feat to turn this wooden table into melee weapons for his squad.

Unfortunately, he critfails the roll.

"SIX"

...




Gustavo remembered the instructions all wrong, and instead turns his mens' weapons into a table.

"It's a nice table though"




Turn 2 - Studlanders


These two Aviators continue fire on the incoming Ronin. Both go down.




GGE squad moves into the house. 2 of them kill the dutchie who was firing through the window. The lasermaster and a trooper head for the green door (to the garden), two others move upstairs.




One of them actually reaches the bedroom floor, from where he has a clear shot at Gustavo's men. He misses, damaging only the table.




The armored car makes a sharp left and speeds at the red division. The melee trooper standing in its path kickflips out of the way with a 6/6 bail roll.




Then the car exposes its side rocket pods and fires a missile at the dutch guncart




In an unexpected turn of events, the 1d6 armor roll beats the 1d10 explosive roll. Only the driver is toast.




Caveboss Boki, wielding a gold bar as a shield, charges at the dutch melee trooper. The dutchman paries the swing of the sword, but critfails his reponse attack.

"Seven"

A ninja pops up and asskicks the dutch trooper, probably jealous of his acrobatic skills. Then he vanishes again.




A miner grabs a bundle of dynamite and prepares to blow up the dutch car.

His buddies are shocked - " No wait, you'll blow us all..."




But with an Over The Top yeet, he manages to only destroy the car and the driver, with his buddies unharmed.




And then they move up to provide backup to Boki




The army truck moves up and the machine gunner decides to go crazy




It's madness. The ground takes a beating, but so does the dutch squad. The bannerman and a trooper die. Unfortunately, Boki is headshotted as well.

The gunner critfails one of the rolls halfway through the spree.

"EIGHT"

One of the guns is now jammed.




The Miner holding a gun tries to shoot the dutch officer. He critfails...

"NINE"

... blowing the front tire of the truck. Adding insult to injury, the officer headshots him in the response fire.




*ding, ding*

The carbonite de-freezing is completed. A Brittanian and a Brootal are revealed. The brit agrees to assist the Studlanders in their campaign. ...




The Brootal is too pissed for being captured, so he decides to have a chat with the pilot making repairs to the ship

"K'HMERE YA BOUNTY HUNTIN' GIT!"




Bert leads his squad out of the gunship and heroically yeets one of his men to the garage roof - a strategically advantageous location.




The squad takes out the last regular gunner of the dutch red division




The Britannian asks the garage owner if Joris Bohnson is still in charge on his homeworld, and is shocked to learn that he has been replaced by a cabbage.

"I've only been carbonite-frozen for 46 days, how could this have happened!?"




Rocketbois move up




Boba asks Tzan to see the warhead, hoping to be presented with a nuclear option.

"We keep in stock only the most authentic of artifacts. Would you like to purchase the extended warranty?"

Pleasantly surprised with the item, Boba agrees. "But how do I activate him? He's no good to me dead."

"Easy! Just show him a nice picture of your mother, and he'll do anything for you."

Boba goes silent for a minute.

"I'll figure something out. Thanks."




Boba uses his jetpack to fly to the roof of the garage, where a Studland comrade is keeping an eye out.

"Hey Plo, your mom is kinda hot, right?"




"What the hell, Boba?"

"Trust me, I wouldn't be asking"

"Wellll, I guess, for a Prxtorian, I mean..."

"K cool. Care to show this bloke here a pic real quick?"

Plo takes out his phone and brings up a photo.




Something about the bright green skin, the mature tentacles, the sharp teeth...

It re-lights a fire in this Warhead Shards brain.




Warhead whips out his Immortalizer rifle.
"Alright Plo. So these are the chumps you've been failing to kill"

"Yup"

"Good, good. So I'll help you out and then we'll hang at your place, right? I could stay for dinner or something. Your mom cook?"

"Sure"

"Great, that's a plan then! Or else my name isn't Kappa Shard!"




Meanwhile, back at the convenience store, Din Djarin tells the specialists to hurry up. The mechanik immediately gets to work on the truck, while the medik heads to revive Boki.




Officer Abraham has other plans though. After chugging his maniac beer, his eyes begin to burn and his skin takes on a sickening green hue.

He grabs the biggest container of maniac beer he can find and bursts out the store. Blazing his gun into the air, he's out for bloodshed.




TURN 2 OVERWATCH

[bertinator]

TURN 3 - Astral Netherlands


The tusken tries to get rid of the bird and grab his gun, but fails. The bird continues pecking away.




The shaman casts a spell using both SN dice, blasting everyone in a 1d6 radius for 1d10 damage.




The attack kills 2 Razors, the Ronin medik, but also a friendly trooper. The spell leaves the shaman weakened and vulnerable.




The medik rolls an 8 on the ker-triage of the fallen soldier. He gets up with more energy than before he was shot!




The 2 dutch troopers shoot a Razor




The medik, high on his own success, begins reviving another dutchie




The flametrooper prepares to set the Ronin battlemech ablaze




He critfails...

"Ten"

... blowing up his beloved weapon. "What is a flametrooper without a flamethrower Q.Q"




The tank lowers its barrel and the gunner fires. The battlemech suffers a big hit to the knee!




The leg is blown clean off, leaving the battlemech partially immobilized. It also sustains 1 point of size damage, 4 remain.




The machinegunner steps forward and begins spreeing the battlemech with bullets. The first shot actually manages to pierce the armor, dealing another point of size damage. 3 remain.




The machinegunner critfails on the second shot...

"ELEVEN"

... and the critfaildie decides death. The gun slips out of control and blasts his head off.




The mechanik begins contruction on noodleshop parts in a shitty 2" radius.




Lenny wakes up from his slumber, and sees the battlemech vulnerable. He attempts to jump onto the arm and take hold of the giant sword.




He is not succesful. The ronin pilot swats him out of the air and launches him into appartment above the noodleshop, crashing through the window.




The last remaining trooper from blue division takes cover from the incoming blue car, bailing into the noodle bar.

Being a good guy, he also grabs the civilian soccer player to get her to safety.

Noodle store owner Dienekes is not amused. "YOU TURNED MY MAKI MAKI INTO A MESSI MESSI!"




Blue guy is rewarded with a sweet kiss




This prompts him to perform another action. He picks up his rocket launcher and aims at the Studlander armored car.




Rolling his action Over The Top, it's what the dutch would call a "schot in de roos". The missile sails right through the opening of the rocketpods and into the interior of the car.




This kills both studlanders inside the car. Surprisingly, the car itself is undamaged.




He makes a final stand behind the bar, together with the last 2 remaining troopers from red division.




Turn 3 - Ronin


These orange rocketbois prepare to unleash a combined rocket attack. They both aim for the disrupted shaman (+1 skill ftw)




They're very succesful - both rockets hit, killing two dutchies and the shaman.




The mechanik gets to work - constructing a warmachine using all parts within a 4" radius. Could this be the end of the beloved Studland bar?




The heavy rocketeer leaves his hilltop position, and uses Ooyama's boat to cross the river and meet up with his comrade.

Since his launcher is out of ammo, he grabs a stick to fight. "It's a HEAVY stick alright".




The men who were at the bridge join the boatparty




But just as they do, they're ambushed by the dutch ninjas. Damage rolls are poor tho, so only an arm is lost.




The Ronin squad fires back at the ninjas. Two out of four gunners manage to hit their targets: 1 ninja dies.




Two others critfail!

"TWELVE!"

"THIRTEEN!"

The spooky side of the critfail die comes up, and behind the Ronin gunners, the waters begin to boil. A strange creature rises to the surface and grabs both men in his long arms.

[bertinator]

"THIRTEEEEEEENNNN"




"Your bumbling and stumbling has awakened me from my sleep

Hail brikthulhu, my master in his ocean keep

Doomwarden of Studland, presented here before you

All your silly objectives, you will try but you will not do

For years and years, in my head, this moment, I rehearsed

With the spell of critical failures, you have been cursed!"




All around the noodle shop, brikthulhu's undead minions begin to spawn.

All factions have been cursed with "Everything Bad": each action co-produces a critical failure effect for the minifig, and rolling a 1 results in the minifigs' conversion to the army of brikthulhu.

[bertinator]

TURN 3 - Ronin, continued


Ooyama and branchtroopa slay the Limby Larry with exceptional damage rolls




The critfail curse decides death. Limby Larry grabs the boat and takes it down with him, including these two champs. How unfortunate.




The rockettroopa readies his weapon to blow up some skellies. He critfails, which means...

"UAAGGHHH"

he is converted into a Brikthulhu minion.




He points the rocket launcher at his feet instead, and pulls the trigger. The result is devastating: 7 Ronin soldiers (including zombieboi) are blown to smithereens.




Blue car Ronin ploughs into a UDSM, scoring the first kill against brikthulhu's forces.




Gustavo hatches a plan to stop the Doomwarden: using himself as a lethal projectile. He balances the table on a wall and takes a seat. Then he instructs his men to jump onto the other end.




"3, 2, 1!"




Apparently Gustavo lost some weight, because he is launched way too far. He sails over the noodleshop and lands onto the tank on the other side.




... where he is greeted by the dutch tankgunner, who doesn't like visitors at his door. He kicks Gustavo off the tank, happily gives him the finger, and closes the hatch again.




The 3 impromptu catapulteers then gather some weapons and kill two skellies.




As a result of the critfail curse, Karate Kyle appears and ker-chops one of the troopers, breaking his arm and destroying the rifle.




Turn 3 - Studlanders


2 aviators move up and gun down a Ronin trooper. Their reasoning: the fact that an evil tentaclecreature is threatening them doesn't change the fact that the Ronin invaded Studland first.




The critfail curse has one of them hauling ass out of there tho, at the sight of said tentaclecreature.




Drunk Captain Abraham opens fire on the tree, convinced it's an agent of Brikthulhu.

The tree cried out and dropped some of its leaves, which is very odd behaviour for a tree.

This sneaky GGE boi tries to shoot a Ronin trooper, but misses




Lacking the mental strength to keep going after such a failure, he curls up under the sheets and waits for everything to go away.




Upon exiting the house, the GGE Lasermaster chops up the disrupted dutch ninja




The GGE rifleman steps out too and shoots a skellie in the face




Inhaling gunpowder fumes causes him to hallucinate. He sees a very spoopy thing, leaving him disrupted.

UYDSM is visibly enjoying all these crazy critfail shenanigans.




2 GGE squadies decide to execute that yellow creep




The chickenshit elektrician under the table begins to hyperventilate, so the GGE squadleader tends to him.

"There there..."




The last GGE squadie moves to the first floor.

"Hey Kyle"
"Hi Stan"
"Sup?"
"Nothing much, just resting in bed for a while"
"Cool cool, imma shoot a skellie real quick, k?"
"Yeah sure no prob"

Stan shoots a skellie, but the shot doesn't deal enough damage to kill.




Another chicken - Stan cozies up with Kyle.

"Night night"




Din climbs on top of the car and snipes a skellie




The car alarm goes off, spooking the mandalorian and prompting him to fuck off elsewhere real quick




The mechanik repaires the truck so he gets a highfive from his buddy




The medik runs to Boki and begins the ker-triage. He critfails his d8, turning him into a brikthulhu minion.




So he moves to revive a skellie, and is succesful this time. Turns out the spawn of brikthulhu is much easier to reanimate in battle.




3 Studland Miners and the britannian bravely charge forward and engage two skellies in close combat.




Two skellies and a miner go down. Another miner suffers a blow to the face, dislocating his helmet




Berts squad moves up and shoots the the red UDSM. The response fire kills one studlander.




Because Rambo fires his rifle right next to his giant green ears, Dumi suffers acute tinnitus.




Bertinator has some ideas on how to wrap up this battle, so he facetimes Lenny to discuss.




Warhead has plans as well.

"Hello operator of tank BFT-033, this is your intelligence department speaking. There is a dude with green skin and an orange suit climbing onto your vehicle as we speak"




"I told you to get the f..."

...

"Wait what"




"ITS A PRANK, BITCH!"




Warhead lobs a grenade right down the hatch, rendering the tank entirely useless




While reloading his weapon, Kappa Shard touches the garage sign, shocking and disrupting him.




Turn 3 - Brikthulhu's Minions


3 skellies gang up on the former flametrooper. Ain't no such thing as overkill during the apocalypse.




Doothead tries to skewer a ronin, but botches the damage roll.




Black skellie comes charging in at the same trooper, but misses and lands in the bushes




Black UDSM attempts to lay down an epic hail of laserbolts. But he misses the first shot and jams his autogun on the second.




White UDSM kills the dutch mechanik




Plo is shot




This scary dooter attacks Gustavo, who is having none of it. The skellies' attack glances off his armor, while the orange katana reduces Brikthulhu's army size by one more.




TURN 3 OVERWATCH

[bertinator]

FINALE


Studland Rambo yeets a bundle of explosives straight into the air




Boba plucks it out of the sky and airdrops the package to Lenny




Lenny finds a shelf and places the explosives. He then sets the timer for 13 seconds




As a result of his action, the critfail die appears and decides Lenny's faith.

A tall, skeletal figure spawns inside the appartment, ready to take Lenny away.

"Lenny Havoc, are you ready to meet your doom?"

"... and who are you?"

"Jim Reaperson, sir. I am a Logistics Expert for Evil Corp. This means I take assets from one place to another. In this case, your soul - I'll be leading you to HQ. Ready?"

"Yeah, you could say that. 4, 3, 2..."

"???"

"GOODBYE!"




KABOOOOMM

Lenny dashes out the window right before the explosive goes off




The blast destroys the roof of the appartment, where the Doomwarden was standing. The evil creature begins to crash down.




But before it reaches the ground, fishface is skewered by a giant fucking sword.




It's the Ronin battlemech, sealing the deal




All skellies drop to the floor, lifeless once again.




"Nice, now that we have that octopussy out the way...

... I assume this stupid critfail curse is lifted as well? Really, I've had it with these shenanigans.

HIYAH!"

Lenny destroys a Ronin boomboomtroopa




Unfortunately for Lenny, the critfail curse has _not_ been lifted yet. The plumage side comes up once again - a wild duckfucker spawns. It begins to give chase to Lenny.

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!"




"Lads, this is no way to fight a war."

"Agreed. Let's call it a day and wait for this curse to wear off."

"Yup"




"At least this year we'll get to celebrate Halloween then"

"How about we start drinking right away?"

"Bartender, first round is on me! We need 1,2,3,4... THIRTEEN BEERS TO GET THE PARTY STARTED!"



THE END

[bertinator]

EPILOGUE

"You're telling me... you are a heroic character, you have plot armor, and you can singlehandedly take on entire squads of militarymen?"

"Yup"

"And... you've been sitting here sipping Diet Coke this whole time?"

"That's right. You can actually see me in one of the very first pics of the battle report."

"... why?"

"Because HobieWanKenobi called dibs on playing my character but forgot to send in orders."

"I see. Better luck next time then?

"Guess so."




"What a mess...

I hope Dienekes has a nice recipe for Nakji Jeongol"




"I must be getting home. Britannia calls"

"Thank you for your aid in protecting Studland. Also, keep in mind that your leader is a cabbage nowadays."

"Right. I almost forgot."

"If you need any help with your war efforts in the future, give me a ring."

""

[Scribonius]

"Goodday y'all. A bunch of anime weebs in carrot-coloured costumes are coming to destroy this magnificent bar. It's time to take up arms and fight 'em off!"

Okay, this expression right here - just made me laugh.

Gameplay: 5

Photos: 5

Violence: 5

Writing: 5 Especially that part where the critfail die summons Brikthulu aftr 13 critfails - inspired.

Overall Appeal: 5

...I am sensing a trend in my judging this year. Might be because all of the entries are awesome, might be because I'm burnt out and all of these are making me laugh my ass off... Not sure.

[bertinator]

Glad you had some good fun!

[The PumpKing]

This battle is a great example of all the things a Brikwars battle should have.

Gameplay: 5 Vehicular warfare, melee and ranged combatants, a silly critfail mechanic leading up to Brikthulu and an army of undead. This battle has everything! Even mom jokes.

Photography: 4 There's some blurry shots here and there but the close-ups, the action shots, everything here is superb and really helps the battle come to life.

Violence: 5 A perfect concoction of blood, gore, and explosions. Absolutely no complaints here.

Writing: 5 Dialogue and narration is on-point.

Overall Appeal: 4 Love the use of the 13th critfail being the thing to summon the big-bad.

[Gorvoslov]

Gameplay: 4.5
Photography: 4.5
Violence: 5
Writing: 5
Overthirteen Appeal: 4.5

I spent the whothirtteen first half wondering what the counter was going to. Was not expecting such a spooky number. I'm glad to see the survivors had a fun war though, that's what truly matters.