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Jerry: Guys, meet Pam.

Elaine: Oh yeah - the botanist. Right.

George: You know, I studied to be a botanist.

Jerry: I thought you were an architect.

George: Well . . . now, yeah -

Elaine: And then a marine biologist.

*burst*



Kramer: Hey!

Pam: Who is this?

Jerry: My neighbor, Kramer. Happy Rekon.

Kramer: Oh, the Rekon party's just getting started. My guests will be here any minute!

George: Your what?

Pam: You invited your guests to Jerry's apartment?

Kramer: Well, mine's full of plastic peanuts!



Red Rover: This is your place, Cosmo? Nice!

Naked Dude: Woooooo!

Pam: Jerry? A word, please?



Pam: I don't like that neighbor of yours.

Jerry: Only in New York, right?

Pam: I was looking forward to a quiet evening in. Can't you get rid of him . . . Shmoopie?

Jerry: . . . Did everything just taste green for a second?



Commence battle

Jerry smacks the naked dude in the face with the fish, but doesn't do enough damage.

Naked Dude: Wooommphhh!



Kramer: Jerry, you're not being a very gracious Rekon Party host!

Jerry: Give me back my keys!



Pam grabs a soda and watches this new episode unfold.



George hides behind Elaine and watches this new episode unfold.

Overwatch

Another of Kramer's guests has arrived.

Lucha Lucy: Happy Rekon - wait, what smells like fish?



George grabs a fishing pole and makes a dash for the window, hoping to find something to defend himself with.



He snags something . . . but it pulls back and drags him halfway out the window. Only in New York. [feat failed]



Kramer: This battle - is making - me THIRSTY!

He gets a little buzzed, but nothing else happens. [feat failed]



Jerry whales on Naked Dude again. He doesn't do enough damage to hurt him . . .



. . . but does knock him back into Lucha Lucy . . .



. . . who uses Naked Dude's momentum to propel him into Red Rover, disrupting them both.

Overwatch

Elaine grabs the Coffee Table Book of Coffee Tables and lines up a throw . . .



. . . ouch.



Jerry and Kramer engage in a slapfight for the ages.



Naked Dude grabs Fusilli Jerry off the shelf and tries to stab Lucha Lucy with it.



George manages to get out of the window, and is now in full panic mode.



He makes a beeline for the door, bowling over the other combatants as though they were small children between him and the exit at a birthday party! [feat success]

Overwatch

Elaine: You gotta get up here right away!

???: I'll be right there! [feat success]



Meanwhile, another guest half-bursts, half-collapses through the door.

Ice Cream Ida: Man, what a day! Wait . . . don't I know you?

George: No! No you don't!



Naked Dude and Lucha Lucy get up and immediately resume their duel.



She gets the better of it!



1 . . . 2 . . . 3!



Ice Cream Ida: It's you! Vandelay! You're the one who got me into that multi-level marketing network for ice cream!

George: No, no! It's not my fault! Nothing's my fault!



I guess technically she got out of the MLM network.



Red Rover tries to pour the contents of the teapot all over George. But he critfails, and scalds himself right out of the battle!

Overwatch

??? revealed: Harvey, Elaine's Boyfriend of the Week



Lucha Lucy: This was supposed be a Rekon Party, not a Royal Rumble! KRAMER!

Last turn, I rolled repeated rounds of combat for both Jerry vs Kramer and Lucha Lucy vs Naked Dude. The former still didn't get a resolution, so this turn Lucy combined her attack with Jerry's.



Good thing Kramer's an amateur chiropractor.



Harvey stares down George and flips a coin. It comes up tails, but George manages to hide behind the door.



But then, Harvey sees a masked person in red, who stirs up painful memories of running away from bats and gang wars with the guy who owns the slushie van.



At such close range, Lucha Lucy doesn't stand much chance.



Elaine: Harvey! I can't take you anywhere without you flipping that coin and shooting people! That's it - we're taking a break!

Harvey: *flips coin* . . . Maybe you're right.



Pam seems to recognize Harvey, and after Jerry makes eye contact with her, he takes a swing at Harvey . . . and promptly critfails, knocking Elaine the heck out.



George takes the opportunity to hightail it out the door, leaving his best friend to pick up all the bodies. Not that there's anything wrong with that.



Since the party seems to be cancelled and he and Elaine are taking a break, Harvey leaves too.



Pam: Finally, a nice quiet evening in. Shmoopie.

Jerry: Shmoopie.

Final Overwatch

Hmmmm....

Just for the record, I do not like Seinfeld. I find the characters annoying, the writing pedantic and cliche, and the plots repetitive and just ... stupid.

Fun: eh, 12? It was... different, and bringing characters from Batman and the Four-Rums into the mix was interesting, but the shenanegans were kind of meh and nothing really spectacular happened, though watching Kramer get bend backwards over a sofa arm was good for a laugh.

Violence: 6. There was some, but no blood, and nobody got taken apart. I appreciate the idea of someone getting slapped by a fish repeatedly though.

Photography: 10. Now this is where you shine. Lots of views, nice, crisp, clear photos, with plenty of captions to go with them. Action was easy to follow as a result.

Writing: ehhhhhhhhhhh... I'm going to give it a 7. Characters were not unique, but tossing Harvey and Pam into the Seinfeld universe is a different tactic, even with you playing most of the characters in, well, character.

Story: Ironically a 9 out of 10. Pam and Jerry are trying to take back their apartment from Kramer's party. Fits the reconqust theme. There actually IS a story here, and while I dislike Seinfeld with a passion, this actually feels like an episode of the TV show. You have NO IDEA how much that annoys me, so I'll end the judging here.

So, What *Is* The Deal With Brikwars?
Fun: 15
Violence: 6
Photography: 8
Writing: 8
Story: 7

I'm a bit surprised at the lack of references to soup permissions being revoked.

Overall violence was pretty minimal, after all, Seinfeld is known for it's extreme blood, gore, cavalry charges, and space battles. It's been awhile since I've seen a Seinfeld episode incidentally.

Lunchbox has been locked out of their account. They've sent their scores to me directly, so I will copypost them here on their behalf.

Lunchboxninja wrote:Fun: 14/20. Really clever idea, lol.

Violence: 3/10. Not a lot of it here, and I think a traditional brikwars ultraviolence could have accentuated the humor.

Photography: 5/10. The shots are gorgeous, but the lack of effects/clearer action shots hurts the flow.

Writing: 9/10. Very accurate to the show, funny, crisp, and had lots of twists.

Story: 9/10. Fits the rekon themes and its super unique.