"HH DEADLINE IS TODAY YOU NUMBSKULLS"
Disgruntled construction team: "yeah well if you stopped making last minute additions to the script we might actually start shooting a battle"
like wtf it says here “add in pumpkins so we qualify for HH”
Zupponn: "don look at me I don’t make the rules."
you..... literally make the rules????
Nauverdaucus' Lawyer: "my contract says he's guaranteed at least 3 battle appearances this year, he better be in"
Mean while the first aid team shows up to see what all the ruckus is about
"look guys the director is about to blow his lid"
Tensions flare as dice are removed from their rest. A battle is brewing
OBSERVE
Michael bay detonates a massive off field nuclear weapon to assert dominance
I AM THE GOD OF EXPLOSIONS
the construction crew are stunned and the stunt man is permanently blinded
WHOOOOSHHHH
The camera man hardcore dolly zooms on zupponn,
Knocking him off the platform....
...and into the water below
"Guys... did you see that?!?!? that zoom was pro as fff......
Camera guy was way too busy bragging to ever see the crowbar guy going for his face
The pumpkin guys parry some CC hits as the EMT rushes up and smothers the permanently blind guy in bandages.
"i just know that these bandages really will make you better"
One of the firemen tries to use his hose but he critfails and blasts off into the atmosphere
Zupponn strikes up a conversation with the shark.
“Man I feel like this battle was just thrown together to make something for the deadline ya’know?”
“Blub blub blub blub”
“Yeah man I feel ya there”
Enraged by everyone’s unwillingness to follow the rules the lawyer strikes the saw wielding worker. Turning him into a shrubbery
"THAT'S IT WE ARE OFFICIALLY ON STRIKE"
The sound guy parries the strike however and Michael bay survives by the skin of his teeth"
That’s enough of this bull Shit
His body begins twisting and turning unnaturally
Suddenly a familiar voice booms out. Is that Peter Cullen?!?!
NO
MY NAME
IS OPTIMUS PRIME
OPTIMUSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
one of the firemen also begins twisting and whirring unnaturally
IT'S MEGATRON!
AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT
Optimus transforms into truck mode and charges megatron
it's a bloodbath as he rolls through the field, Sound guy lawyer guy and crowbar guy all die
OMMMFHHHH Megatron grunts as Optimus slams into him
(there's supposed to be a cool stop motion video here of them doing battle but i can't figure out how to link it. look in discord link)
BUT WHAT IS THAT?!?!
The helpful nurse was Ooyama all along, He has a cup of hot cocoa, I really just know that would make the stunt guy all better!
Reflecting on his past life as an arsonist the fire man decides to return to a life of crime
He attempts to light Ooyama on fire. He takes the damage WAYYYY over the top through and Ooyama is instantly incinerated along with his hot chocolate
Angry that his contract won’t be honored Nauverdaucus grabs the camera and begins shooting a vlog
Before he can qualify for mid-roll adds on YouTube however the writer simple writes him out of the battle.
POP
Satisfied with the amount of twists in this battle the writer takes off to renegotiate his contract. Leaving the reignited autobot and deception war to resolve itself.
Meanwhile, Zupponn ponders what this battlefield would actually have been used for. One could only guess
GAME. who won? idk. huge thanks to NInja_bait, Falk, and Mr President for giving orders in chat and making this just.... so unhinged.
