***Warning - repeatedly aggressive advertising in this post!***
Space Knights
The tank´s shot from Turn one comes down but nothing happens. The tank immediately tries its luck again and...
KABOOM!...this time waaay more effectively! Although it hit the Draakh horserider instead of the targeted Angel Hardsuit, the resulting explosion kills the horse, the horserider, the Hardsuit, two Orlogrodian Soldiers and 4 bar patrons!
Among the victims are an Ulrion Protectorate Soldier, a StarCorps Trooper on shore leave and... Oh no, not the
Booze Brothers!
3 SpaceKnight soldiers then try to kill off Dr. Ethanol, but he gets himself a fancy redshirt guy to protect him from safe death.
Orlogrod
Dr. Ethanol wants to return the favor and tries to barbecue SpaceKnights, supported by a soldier, who however drops his weapon instead of shooting. Ethanol also doesn´t roll well, as he is just able to set one of the SpaceKnights on fire a little bit.
Dr. Ethanol then starts one of his infamously abhorrent experiments, as he starts stitching the corpses of SpaceKnights together to form a
Minifig-Centipede!
That´s too much! The Referee intervenes and calls out Dr. Ethanol for violating minifig rights repeatedly!
She immediately drags him off the battlefield to have him brought to high court for his deeds. (Feat critfailed)
The referee then angrily kicks her football at the nearest SpaceKnight.
*BÖNK!* - He is hit in the face, but taking no notable damage. His surprised look is priceless, though.
Morbin` Angels
The Bloodzerkers and Bloodgunner who hide behind an AI-generated ad billboard for the
GET YOURS NOW AS STOCKS LAST YOU WONT BELIEVE HOW LIMITED EDITION THIS PUMPKIN SPICE BREW REALLY IS , find easy targets in the disrupted Skeledrones and the honestly not-so-scary-since-immovable Pumpkin Sprites.
One Skeledrone and one Guard are easily killed...
...and so is one of the Pumpkin Sprites.
*SQUASH*
The Dreadnut shoots another rocket. This time at the DSM Commander! It´s a hit, but a literal redshirt is there in time to fulfill his predestined role. The Orange DSM is meanwhile killed by the shockwave.
The Bloodmage performs some wicked blood-magik - the
Ancient Ritual Of Morbin` on a peacefully nearby sitting Good Boi. He hopes to transform the dog into a bloodthirsty fierce creature that can´t wait to shred some enemies!
*SWOB* - umm, yeah. Close enough, I guess. That'll have to do. (Feat fail)
Nevertheless, Good Bunny hops into the Beer carrier and drives off to the edge of the map, thereby securing the barrel of OT Beer for the Morbin`Angels!
The remaining Bloodzerkers combine attacks on the Skeledrone Crawler, dismembering the claw.
Knights of Draakh
The Draak of Draakh
(heh) advances and picks up another lootbox. It´s a Series 21 Beekeeper!
The dragon then roasts the last remaining Orlogrod Soldier, which was only half-heartedly hidden behind an ad billboard for the
OMG YOU STILL DIDNT BUY THE STRICTLY LIMITED EDITION PUMPKIN SPICE BREW BY NOW HOW DARE YOU NOW GET YOUR ASS UP AND BUY THAT SHIT BEFORE ITS GONE FOREVER DAMMIT! beer.
The other soldiers assume that this battle is ending soon, and decide to collect as many Maniac Beer as possible.
Every available connection point is used to attach beer kegs...
Every. Available. Connection.
To keep up the brikwars sportsmanship for a bit, at least the Archers attempt to land a kill. One kicks over the
WELL THERE YOU GO NOW ITS TOO LATE THE LIMITED EDITION PUMPKIN SPICE BREW IS ALL GONE AND YOU DUMB*SS don't HAVE ANY HAHA GO AHEAD AND CRY ALREADY ad billboard near the brewery, and both combine fire to kill the DSM Commander. But their attack rolls are no harm for the DSM.
Skeledrones
The Crawler prepares to use his most intimidating weapon - the Chaos Orb Launcher! It is capable of turning any minifig into a mindless zombie!
At least if it works correctly! This orb goes off right in the launcher, and the already zombiefied driver is... turned into a normal minifig!
The newly recruited Ladybug sees a chance to make a name for herself. She picks another Chaos Orb from the palette.
"Don´t worry, I got your back!"
Oh, no! Instead of re-zombiefying the driver, she zombifies herself!
"urrrrrrrgh..."
The remaining guard shakes his head, drops off the palette, takes yet another Chaos Orb and throws it at the driver, who is re-zombified finally.
"Can we now stop this de-, and re-zombify nonsense and finally get someone actually killed?"
The re-zombified driver then tries to make up for the embarrassing last minutes and charges into the nearby standing Bloodzerkers (who he believes have giggled all the time) - but they are all able to bail out of the way.
XEC
The caravan uses his plow to slowly shove a keg of
YEAH SEE THATS ONE OF THE LAST EXISTING LIMITED EDITION PUMPKIN SPICE BREW YOULL EVER SEE IN YOUR PAHETIC LIFE YOU MORON WHY DIDNT YOU BUY SOME WHEN IT WAS STILL AVAILABLE YOU PIECE OF SH*T???
Sloooowly the plow moves up, until...
*PLINK*
*SKA-DOOSH!* The explosion does not much damage to the dreadnuts armor, but the plow caravan itself gets totally obliterated.
The Groundskeeper in the brewery gets a bit curious. He wants to know what happens if ALL THE SUBSTANCES on the laboratory table get mixed together. Well, only one way to find out! *BLAM!*
Another Groundskeeper wants to find out by self-experimenting if the Maniac Beer cans are worthy to be mentioned in the newest edition of the XEC vacation catalogue.
But the Deadly Spoop Men at the brewery won´t let him escape that easily. They shoot at the beer cans and effectifely blow the sixpack up.
Meanwhile in the brewery, the dangerous mixture of liquids creates the first
Pumpkinbrootal!
"Oi, lads! Time to get Smashed!"
[This wraps up Turn Two, and at this time it´s decided to end the game for time reasons. All factions have had some kills, looted some Maniac Beer, reinforcements and / or other valuables, and performed several hilarious feats. So while technically no winner is declared, the game was a full success!]
Thanks all participants for coming the whole way for playing. Special thanks to Vomarsk for writing down all the ongoing stuff. It really helped making this report easier.
Final Overwatch:
This battle was brought to you by
OMFG DID YOU NOT EVEN GET HOW DAMN STRICTLY LIMITED THIS LIMITED EDITION PUMPKIN SPICE BREW REALLY IS OH MAN I GIVE UP YOU DUMBF*CKS ARE TOO STUPID AS IF ANYONE STILL WOULD HAVE THAT STUFF IN STOCK NOW ITS ALL GONE you're TOO LATE WHY DOES NOBODY EVER LISTEN TO ME WHAT DO YOU THINK LIMITED EDITION MEANS YOU UNDERDEVELOPED SCUMBAGS I can't EVEN IM OUTTA HERE GET LOST IDIOTS Maniac Beer.
