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Prologue One



Ragn: "So, anyways, when the guy finally showed up, he simply... wait, what were we talking about right now?"
MadMario: "Meh, whatever. Funny story nonetheless. Cheers, man!"





Bartender: "Hey, you guys finished yet? You´re the last guests and you already drank all the beer..."





"Wait, how late is it?"
"It´s early morning..."
"No, I mean - which month?"
"It´s October 30th, man. Even I remember the date."





"FUCK FUCK FUCK! I´M TOO LATE!"
"For what now?"
"The Hellhunt of course!"





"Come on, Ragn, we got a shitload of work to do!"
"..."
"Yeah, I have your account info for direct debiting..."
"Well, see you soon. Obviously we have to work now. Though I dunno what."





"Well, I know what I gonna do now. Sigh..."

Prologue Two



Ragn: "You maybe miss the Hellhunt, so what?"
MM: "One does not simply 'miss the Hellhunt' , Ragn! - It´s a tradition that must be kept alive! And I´ve always participated!"
"Well, I know it´s been rough weeks behind you, and you´re still on sick note. What´s the deal? And even more so: How should you catch up in so short time?"
"I dunno! I´m on painkillers and other stuff! I will figure something out! Like, gimme a minute or two!"





"Hey, look, some free space on the table. I already have a plan. Kind of..."





"Sooo, a large building space, huh? That´s a start indeed."





"*sigh* Yeah, but so little time to build. And only rough ideas."
"Ah, the depression sets in. Been there. Hmm, maybe I have just what you need."
"More booze?"
"That, too. But it´s not the solution for everything, you know?"





"I shortly came up with the ImaGUNation. You just think quickly of what to build and voilà. Didn't field-test it yet, but this seems like quite the opportunity!"
"Well, let´s give it a try..."





BZZZZAP!





"Oh shit, that thing´s great! We´ll have a great build in no time!"





"So, like an Icehockey arena or something?"
"We´ll see. I`m still thinking, building AND making up dialogue on the fly! You think that´s easy?"





"Do we have everything?"




"Referee, paramedics, lootboxes... but seems you´ve missed something important."





"Ah, yeah, this year´s theme. Let me quickly get some SPIDERS!"





"Snacks, drinks, puns, microphones. We´re good to go."





"...and now?"
"Now we wait..."





"...and see if someone takes the bait his chance!"

Day One




Quantumsurfer has entered!
QS: "What the hell is going on here?"





Bertinator has entered!
As soon as he sees Quantumsurfer, he tackles him.
*WHACK!*





Bertinator: "Oof. Hard entrance, whaddaya think?"
"Gerroff me. I was tryna take a nap."





*Yeet!*





"Always wanted to meet a web designer. Ha!"





"As we get our first actions and bad jokes, slowly some spectators gather around."





"Now, where were we... ah yes. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"





"Oh, seems like Quantumsurfer is not in the right mood for talkin`"
"It´s HellHUNT - not HellTALK - for a reason."
"..."

Quantum: I summon a bed. Surely no one will bother me while I finish my nap.

*swoosh*
"Why does that thing look like it´s from Minecraft. I don´t even play Minecraft..."





"Ah, never mind. Must be really tired..."





*zzz*

Bertinator: Bert goes full Rick Sanchez mode on the arena. Start by injecting the referee with one of the meddroid syringes

Bert was lying in the spiderweb for a while.





"Well, no time for that. Gonna get in research mode for this. Good thing I brought my adult swim approved Halloween costume..."





*burp*





"Hey, Miss Medi-droid. As you can clearly see I`m a doctor, and I need you to give me that syringe immediately!"
Medi-droid: "Alright, doc!"





"Health inspector here. Did you get your required vaccination already?"
Referee: "Umm - what? No, I guess... but where in the rulebook..."





"Lemme get that fixed real quickly. Here ya go." *WHACK!*
"OUCH MAN, that hurt!"



"Last warning, man. I´ll keep an eye on you."(feat. failed)





Duerer has entered!





"Man, that escalated quickly."
"Like a good Hellhunt should!"
"And we´ll soon be back after a short break with more! Stay tuned!"

Day One (continued)



Cybrandir: "Good game so far, huh?" Did any scorpion-shaped spiders appear lately?"
Disco guy: "Umm... no?"
"Shame..."





"But I´d like to see spider-shaped scorpions."





"Say, Ragn, are those spider-like scorpions or scorpion-like spiders that popped out of nowhere?"
"Easy to tell, how many legs do they have?"





"Way too many!"





The Scorpiders are not able to harm Quantumsurfers' patented Quantum-sleep-shield™. They´ll have to look for alternative snacks...




Meanwhile:

"RIIICK!"
"Oh, Hi Duerer, long time no see..."
"Actually it´s been 4 days. Anyway. Leave that body, Sanchez!"





"Make me."
"With pleasure."
"Should we determine a safeword?"





BZOOM!
"oof!" "oof!"





"Thanks, man. That puny mind started to make my brain hurt."
Medbot: "Do you need medical assistance?"
Rick: "Dammit, my left *burp* pinky finger has more medical training than you primitive tin cans. Keep away *burp* from me!"





"Hey, that´s too many players on the field. Where did that guy come from?"





"Red card!"
"Yeah, I was gonna leave *burp* anyways."
"See you in court, Sanchez. Your ass has a lot to answer at the transdimensional tribunal.
Your good friend Dr. Ethanol is already there, too."
"FUCK *burp* YOU ALL"





"Well this has been an amazing first day in the Hellhunt arena, with many weird actions and even weirder turns of events!"
"I´ve seen Apple Battle. I know what REALLY weird is."
"Anyway, we´ll be right back tomorrow with the continuation of events, in another round in the Hellhunt arena. Stay tuned!"

Day Two



"Aaand here we are back in the arena, for some more hours of weird mayhem!"




"At the moment, Quantum is still in A Quantum Sleep, as Duerer and Bertinator are being approached by Scorpiders while they ponder what to do next."





"And there´s also a spot left in the arena. We´ll see if someone has the guts to join..."
" *munch, munch* replace 'having guts with 'being nuts'..."
"Yeah, maybe also that."





"Hiyaah!"





*Clonk*





*YEET*





*Ker-Splurch!*





"He surely has a point there. Let that sink in. Ha!"
"Every further discussion is pointless now!"
"You done yet?"
"One more, one more! That throw was... on point! GET IT? HA! HA! - Okay now I'm done."
"sigh..."





Bert keeps going full scientist mode.
"Interesting little critter. I think I´ve seen you recently in another battle..."





"There you bit some people and bad things happened. But hey, you surely wouldn´t..."





*CLANK*
"Hrmpff!"

Bertinator: "Nothing like a lil' spider kiss"

"Graaaaaaaah!"





"Dude, whatever is going on down there, Bert should DEFINITELY adjust his medication plan..."





"Graah!" *click, click*





As a first statement, Bertspider jumps forward and totally dismembers the second Scorpider.
*SKRUNTSCH*





"It´s maybe not what we expected, but more than we deserved in the Hellhunt arena!"
"That's right, and more spectators keep coming onto the ranks to witness the world´s weirdest warfaring wreckage.."
"Always avoid alliterations."
"Wait, what´s wrong with wielding words wisely? Weirdo..."
"Just stop it right there..."





"Anyway, I think Quantumsurfer had enough sleep. The Notification bell should wake him up!"
*ding - ding!*





Down in the arena, Quantum slowly wakes up. The Quantum-Sleep-Shield™ is no longer active.





"Quite not the environment or company for an unguarded nap, I guess."





*Yaaawn* *stretch*
"Aah, what a restful sleep. I feel really... wait - what the hell is going on here?"





*click, click* "Graaah?"
"Ah, I had worse views when waking up..."

Day Two(continued)



"I exorcised you once, I´ll do it again!"





"Hiyaaah!"





*SHWORBLE!*





"umm... What. The. Actual. Hell."
"Seen alotta weird shit, but THIS..."
(feat. critfail)





Behold: BertSpiDuerer !
*click, click*





"I surely can transform this thing into something more useful..."





"Yeah. Now we talkin`"





*zzzzap!*





"Ooooh, yeah. Who´s your daddy now?"
*click, clack* "Graah?"

Quantumsurfer: "Giddyap!"

suddenly, a familiar figure shows up:

"Hey, Mario, spare a second?"
"Hi Vomarsk! What can I do for you?"





"Well, I had my notebook um... getting 'lost' by some Chainsaw Enthusiasts. And I know you always have lots of paper around..."
"Say no more..."





"It must be somewhere here in the pile..."





"Ta-daa! A backup copy of your notes, complete just to the point where you 'lost' it."
"How did you..."
"No questions about that, okay?"





"Alright, thanks, buddy, I owe you one!"
"I´ll come back to it soon. Bye, Vomarsk!"





"Now we were about to determine who gets to fight the QuantumRider BertSpiduerer next. And therefore we´ve re-activated the..."





"...Wheel of the Witches!"
"Yeah, and in the meantime they made Vidiyo tiles, so equipping the wheel is so much more fun!"
"We´ll see how things develop, and spin the wheel as it seems fitting."





"I´ve waited long enough. I guess I´ll have to intervene if nobody else does..."

Suddenly, the time around stops, everything but Cybrandir comes to a halt.





Then teleporting sounds are heared, and two figures appear right next to him.





"Mr. Cybrandir, we´re from the Brikversian Time Travel Foundation, or BTTF. You have to come with us, no questions asked."
"Okay, I knew this would happen, no problem with that. But everyone around will notice that I´m suddenly gone..."
"Oh, don´t worry about that."





"JAYSUS!"
"We made this exact robot replica of you. No one will see the difference!"
"Uhh.. well. I guess."
"Come on now, we have to leave."





And so the three travellers leave to an unknown but surely awesome adventure, leaving the Cybrandummy in the crowd before time goes on.





"Did you wear that shirt all the time?"
"Morning. Nice day for fishin' , ain't it? Hu-ha."
"Um. Yeah, maybe...?"

Day Two (Continued)



"Aaand we're back in the arena, where we just did spin the wheel for the first time tonight!"
"And it points on 'cupcakes'!"





"Ha, yeah. Love those lil cuties, especially after a... foggy night..."
"C´mon, Ragn. This is brikwars. And we´ve got good connections to the food dimension..."





"Whaddaya mean with... oh, I see..."





SPLURCH!



SCHLOMP!



KLONTCH!





"Well, let´s say our contestants won´t starve for sure. But I don´t yet see how that is an enemy to fight..."
"Then... simply spin the wheel once more?"
"Hm, okay. What´s the worst that can happen?"





"Mummies, that is."



*creeeeeaaak*
"Hmm. Since when do cupcakes open like that and sound like rusty door hinges thereby?"





*groan!*





*groooooaaannn!*
"Now THIS gets interesting!"





"Hey, I know that guy! He´s a friend from work! - Yo, Brad! Over here! Hi!"





*grooooan!*
("Dammit, Steve - not now! Don't you see I'm busy here?")





The mummies know no remorse. The referee is their first victim...





...while most of the others charge directly at Bertspiduerer.





The Quantum-steered abomination manages to slice some of the sentient toilet paper rolls in half. They fall to dust, as it is the tradition of the mummies from old of.





Yet theres too many other Mummies left, who then manage to inflict some serious damage to the creature.
skreeeeech!





"Dammit! This battle is lost. But maybe I can save parts of us..."





HUARRRRK!
Quantum rips the humanoid torsos off the spider body.





"Good. That Quantum-weirdo killed the Abomination!"
"Well, not quite, Ragn. The abomination is dead..."





"Long live the abominations"
"Oh, Shit!"





The Bertspiderling and the Arachnoduerer both instantly jump on the next mummies to slice them.





FWOOOOSH!
Meanwhile Quantum manages to incinerate two mummies to piles of ash right where they stand.





"I'd say let's call it a day."
"Yeah, best to do so. But I've got the feeling that there will be an awesome finale tomorrow."
"So, stay tuned!"

Day Three



"And once again welcome back to the Hellhunt arena! We´re in the final hours, and we all feel it´s going to be a great day in brikwars history!"
"Your sense for modesty astonishes me every time anew"





"Well, gentlemen, I think I've 'helped' enough. Now I'll prepare the FicFest for y'all.
I will recommend this B'n'B. Bed was comfy, giant cupcakes for breakfast are a nice idea, though I didn´t like the filling much. Rooms are a bit noisy. 176,4 of 212,89 possible QuantumStars. See ya!"





*quantinuum_teleport_sound.wav*





With Quantumsurfer and his magic spells gone, Bertinator and Duerer switch back to their minifig forms, after having slayed most of the surrounding mummies.
"Ah, good to be back! I said I´ll be back, didn´t I?"





Some of the Mummies however are still alive undead. Ant they go for the MedBots, who are programmed for medic response, but unfortunately not for self-defense...





*grooan!*
As one of the mummies approaches a Medbot, her scanning routine is triggered.
"It seems your bandages haven´t been changed for... uh... 3500 years. Let me help you with that quickly..."





Thwop!
frrrrrrrrrrrrrrt





"There we go. And now we just need to put the new ones..."





*CLANK!*
"Error 404, subject not found."





The other medbots are not so lucky...
*stab!*
*brzzzzt!*





*snikt!*
*bzap!*





Having to witness how her fellow Medbot sisters are getting killed by potential patients causes a logical error in this medbots' circuits.




She switches to full_rampage_killbot_mode (which comes pre-installed on every medbot for some reason), and immediately sends a signal through space-time, causing a temporal cascade. All future, past and present robots now are hostile towards everyone who resides in the arena.





The time cascade takes immediate effect...
*SWOSCH*





"Sawwah Konnoa?"
"Why, yes dear. And that´s my son, John. Say hello to the nice man, John!"
"Hello, sir. Nice to meet you. Come, sit with us here."





*BLAMM!*
"Ts, ts. People these days. Come John, we'll sit elsewhere. That guy obviously doesn't want our company."





*SWOSCH*





"Sawwah Konnoa?"
"Oh, look, Mario. It´s J0hn_Br1cK. Sowwy... err sorry, we didn´t see Sarah Connor. And since when do you even look for her? Did SHE kill your dog? Do I mix up movie stories once again? Must've been high when I watched it..."





*SWOSCH*





"Sawwah Konnoa?"
"Oh, hey Vision! Nah, I'm Steve. And don't you think that joke is wearing off really fast now?"





In no time (hah!) the whole arena fills with temporal distortions caused by time-travelling robots.
*SSWWOOOSCH*





"SAWWAH KONNOA?"





"Oh, shit!"
"Oh, shit!"





"Oh, how the turnles have tabed!"
"...what?"
"C´mon, you know what I meant. How will our contestants get out of this situation? We´ll find out after a short break!"

Day Three (Continued)



"Hey, Bertinator. Long time no see! Say, remember that favour you owe me? Now would be a good time..."





"Hi Sawwah, Hi John! Sure, I was just preparing to leave myself. Too many enemies, too little loot. Come over here!"





"And now? We´re standing right in the middle of the fray. Not quite an escape plan..."
"Now we... get to dah choppah!"
"Wasn't that from another movie?"





"Stay away from me, if you want to die!"
"I don't think that you got that line right..."





"So long, suckers! Oh, and Duerer, sorry for leaving you alone with that!"
"Nah, don´t worry 'bout it. I'm fine."






"I'll just need to hack into those bots and fill their processors with... something to think about. Wait, what´s that? 'Solve this captcha to prove that you're not a robot'... GODDAMMIT!" (feat. critfail)





Meanwhile - in the face of so many surrounding threats, the Player-4-Avatar becomes sentient.
"Oh my god, whats happening here? I don´t want to die. Not that way!"




The avatar starts sprinting across the field, past Duerer and some killbots, to seek shelter behind one of the barriers.





*huff - huff*
"Okay, that should give me some time. Now what next? At least there´s a lootbox here..."





"Now, What have we here...?"





"Character Skin Colour Upgrade??? Aw, c'mon, I hoped for something USEFUL!"





"Hm, can as well make a choice if it's there already. I think the best colour to baffle these robots would be..."





"ALL OF THEM!"





"Is that even legal?"
"Dunno. We don´t have a referee anyways. I´ll let it pass."





At least the disguise works, as the killer robots have to adjust their delicate optical sensors to the unusually colourful enemy. Nevertheless they slowly approach the Avatar, who sprints to the next lootbox...





"Dang, there better be something useful in there or I'm screwed..."





"Now, how about that!"





"My ImaGUNation! Well, now I know at least where I left it!"
"Do you think it's a good idea to leave such a powerful tool unattended?"
"Ah, c'mon, Mario! When has one of my inventions ever brought chaos to the brikverse?"
"...I don´t have to answer this, do I?"





"I know exactly how to deal with a bunch of metal-made monsters...!"
ZZZAP!





No sooner said than done - a giant magnet appears in the middle of the arena and immediately starts doing what magnets do. Just... magnet stuff, that is.





All metal parts in the arena are instantly drawn towards the powerful magnet!





A mummy gets sliced by the speeding torso of a slain medbot passing through.
Another mummy is just crushed by robot parts.





*PHLONK!*
"Nooo, my laptop! How shall I prove now that I´m not a robot?"





And soon the magnet has amassed all the robots, weapons and most metal objects around and formed them to a wonderful, immovable chunk of scrap metal.





"I might be wrong, but as a mad scientist I´d say it's not good to have so many defective, fusion-cell powered robots in one place. That might overheat quite a bit..."





Duerer quickly teleports himself to the grandstand.
"Hm, might be safer to watch from up here..."





And yes, just moments later sizzling noises and poisonous fumes come from the pile. The temperature in the arena rises quickly, and soon...





KA-BOOOOOOM!






"I guess that sums it up quite well. Ka-boom indeed!"
"The crowd is by all means giddy with pleasure, and that´s what counts in the end."





"Seeing such joy in their faces caused by gratuituous violence is always a pleasure. And that´s why we`ll be here next year, same time, of course."






"...although there might be some minor refurbishment necessary."
"You mean 'fundamental reconstruction'. I guess there won´t be any events for the rest of the week..."





"...or the rest of the month..."





"...or ANYTIME soon..."
"sigh"



THE END

Hmmm...

Gameplay: 4 (I mean, this is a pretty classic Brikwar concept - lots of chaos, lots of mess, lots of weirdness)

Photography: 2 (Some of the photos did not load in the main list - yes, linking me to the source files for the photos helped; thing is, that doesn't help me follow the action and understand some of what was happening. This was thrown together hastily, and I'm sorry, it does show. You have some brick-built terrain and a reasonable attempt at a stadium, but the other entries did better)

Violence: 4 (There's violence, but some of this just felt... off...)

Writing: 3 (for a last-minute entry, there was at least a decent sort-of storyline behind it. I did like the cameo from Vomarsk mid-way through, but the entire thing just felt half-cobbled)

Overall Appeal: 4 (As a Brikwar, it had what it needed. Weird brick creations, violence, cameos, destruction, strange merging spider-monster-monstrosities, and for some reason Quantum taking a nap. I've seen better, but this was pretty good)

Gameplay: 4 Very entertaining battle with a very high WISG-level.

Photography: 5 Clear overviews and great action takes, with some exceptionally well posed shots.

Violence: 4

Writing: 5 Great work keeping the pace, with plenty of room for humorous narrative.

Overall Appeal: 4 This battle is a last minute banger.

Gameplay - 4
Photography - 3
Violence - 3
Writing - 5
Overall Appeal - 5

Fun little battle! Some of the pictures looked out of focus, mostly on the closeups (I'm not going to deduct anything for the link issues. I was able to get through those fine). Also, there could have been more fighting in the battle. The writing was fantastic though and your custom builds and staging to show the action were fantastic. Great work!