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Arrrrr you ready? - Turn 0

Location: Brikverse Y-444-RR

The Studlanders of SCOUT Team Red exit their interdimensional highway portal.

They can feel the warm sun - waves rolling in, a summer breeze, peace and tranquility on this remote island.




But what's that? A pirate ship?




A Royal Navy fortress?




Pirates! What looks like a raiding party - why isn't the cannoneer opening fire?



He's wanking off way out of position!

"Ohh, 't was just a banana I had in my hand, I swear!"




Neither the banana nor the pirates are noticed by the other bluecoats.




As far as they're concerned, today is just another day.




Day #1,432 to be precise.




Therrrr' be da booty!

Two shiny GT crystals. Great for decorating a pirate ship with - or for traveling back home along the interdimensional highway.




Initial overview

Turn 1 - The Pirates

The pirates move up and two of them open fire at the guardsman with their classic pirates blunderbusses.




The soldier is hit and goes down, but not before returning response fire.




First blood! Both the Pirates and Royal Navy scratch one.




The raiding party storms the ramp. Rascally Rodger fires his pistol, but misses.




Response fire from the Royal sailor critfails...




The sailor had overloaded his pistol with gunpowder and the knockback sends him flying over the wall.




Scallywag Steve and Decent Dave dispose of bananaman. The younger of the two pirates is absolutely mortified by the fact that a minifig body can bleed so violently when you pump it full of lead. What did you think would happen, Dave?




The old fart turns around and fires at the Studlanders, correct in his assessment that they're a rivaling raiding party.



Critical failyarrrr!!




Studlanders return fire but their aim is still off due to interdimensional travel. One misses, the other plays rock-paper-scissors with a crab.




Captain BlastBeard, hero of the pirate raiders, hops onto a wall segment a fires his shoulder cannonette at a gunpowder keg.




It explodes, creating a thick curtain of smoke. (feat success)




BlastBeard continues on and makes it to the base of the tower.

Turn 1 - Royal Navy

Commodore Hexaquad picks up the fallen soldier and prepares to yeet it at the pirates.




Feat failed! The dead body knocks a living one off the stairs.




The sailor gets up and fires at Rascally Rodger. It's a deadly hit!




He's met with response fire from Skinny Pete (told him he could come if he didn't eat) but that's a miss.




The remaining navy soldiers grab their rifles and take up defensive positions.




The pirates are just out of range for these three lads, but they've readied their shots.

Turn 1 - Studlanders

The Studlanders open fire at the pirate on the beach - they absolutely whiff it. Another shot missed, and a weapon completely disassembled.




"Quit fucking around!" goes their stone-cold leader as he disposes of their first foe.




The Studlanders split up. Two of them advance along the pier, killing the sailor...




while the hero advances along the beach with two redshirts, I mean, soldiers.




End of Turn 1 Overview

lets go!!!!!!!

Turn 2 - The Pirates

"Arrr, ye LegoLandLubbers, blast those bluecoats to bits!" urges BlastBeard his deckhands.




The two pirates move up and open fire.




The Royal Navy soldiers respond with counterfire they prepared.




Two pirates and one bluecoat are gunned down.




This is the moment Captain BlastBeard was waiting for! With all response actions spent, he dashes forward hoping to cleave any and all who oppose his plundering.




Instead of landing a fatal blow, the captain finds himself empty handed. The imprisoned redcoat has snatched his weapon from him mid-swing! (feat failed)




Bear and Skinny Pete advance and open fire on Commodore Hexaquad.




Undeterred by the color of his uniform, this soldier redshirts the damage for his Hero.

Turn 2 - Royal Navy

The Commodore leaps to the cargo basket hanging from the heavy crane.




The momentum sends him swinging in a large circular motion.



SWOOOOSSHHH




The crane swings back around as the mighty Commodore Hexaquad readies his weapon.



KA-KRASH!!!

As the sword connects the gruesome, sickening sound of cracking LEGO is heard all across the brikverse.




"Dear mother! I've never seen a fig cut in half like this. The poor fella."
(feat success)




Due to the surprising outcome, the commodore forgets to grip his weapon and it lands near the shoreline.




Meanwhile, inside the military outpost, a bluecoat shoots BlastBeard. His armor saves him.




The other bluecoat decides to try his luck with some melee weaponry.




"En garde!"




Whoopsie! As the lieutenant swings his one sword at BlastBeard, he critfails with the other and decapitates his comrade.




BlastBeard stops the blow with his Titanium Hand-o-mat 3000.




He's knocked back and gets a shot off with his shoulderblaster, but the bluecoat is unscathed.

Turn 2 - Studlanders

This Studlander reveals himself a sharpshooter - Skinny Pete is blasted to bits.




After witnessing what just happened, the other Studlander sprints to grab the mighty golden sword.




She gets it!




"What's a pirate adventure without some cannonfire, eh lads?"




"Eh..."
"You sure about that, boss?"




The Studlander Hero aims the cannon at Commodore Hexaquad.




KER-BLAMM!




Blame the cannon, captain. (feat failed)




The two remaining Studlanders fire at the enemy hero and land their shots, but are unable to overcome his armor.




End of Turn 2 Overview

Turn 3 - The Pirates

Captain BlastBeard unleashes his battleparrot.



QRAAAHH! *RIP* *TEAR* SQUAWK!

The result is horrifying - the royal navy soldier is completely and utterly torn to pieces. (feat success)




With all bluecoated grunts dead, Captain BlastBeard seizes the loot!

Turn 3 - Royal Navy

"Time for reinforcements!"




Commodore Hexaquad desperately waves his banner at the sea, as the Studlanders close in on him.




"I'm sorry, Commodore. The cavalry ain't coming. Let's face it - you've lost. I suggest you sit this one out."
*sigh* "I suppose you're right."
(feat failed)

FINALE - PART 1

"Hand over the crystals, captain, and we'll let you off the hook. Get it?"




"The only thing I'll hand ye is yer arse, numbwitted brownbag. Or you'll gotta be prying these crystals from my one dead hand. C'mon!"




BLAM! BlastBeard opens fire with his shoulderblaster and the Studland hero dodges out of the way.




The SCOUT leader plunges down the stairs with a mighty swing of his sword. The captain parries with the GT crystal in his hand.



"Are you nuts!?!? Fighting's not what these incredibly potent minerals are for..."

The raw power of the crystal transforms the blade it came into contact with.

"OH MY STUDGOD! HE'S SENT YOUR SWORD TO WEENIE JAIL, SIR!"




The two grunts fire at BlastBeard. One critfails, destroying his weapon. Once again, the captain gets a solid armor roll and shrugs off the damage.




"YARRR, I'LL MAKE YEE PAY FOR THAT!"




One of the Studlanders is cut clean in half, the regular minifigure way.




"You see, kid, after all this time, you know, seeing something like that. The inside of a minifigure torso, I mean. It changes things, you know. How you see the world. And yourself. You could see where his arms sat in his body. Poor soul.

And the sound. He just... cracked. And I think I heard a... dolphin? Maybe? I don't know, I'm a little concave right now. Who knew a minifigure could even make that sound. Horrifying. "




The Studland hero strikes at BlastBeard again, who parries with his own sword.




"YARRR!!!" shouts the pirate lord as he prepares to strike back at his foe.




Both heroes critfail their (response-)action roll, which means...




They utterly fudge up their melee action and tumble down the stairs, together, into the pile of GT crystals.

FINALE - PART 2

"Yaarrghh, me hat! That could've gone much worse. You alright there?"




"Yaarrghh, my head!"




Captain BlastBeard uses the confusion about what just happened to abscond with the crystals.




"Aww geez, sir, look at you."
"What's worse, BlastBeard has escaped with the crystals. That means..."
"... we can't power up the portal to make it home."

"Use your head."




"What was that, commodore?"
"Use your head."
"I don't follow.
"Heads. Crystals. Grass. Bricks. Everything in this world. It's all the same. So just use your head to unlock your portal."

"Don't mind him, sir. He seems a little confused."
"No, no. Actually. I think it's a good idea."




The remaining Studlanders make their way towards the interdimensional highway portal they arrived with.

"Like so? This is where we'd place the crystal, right? Okay. Hit the button."




SKA-WOOOSSHHH!!!




"Sweet mother. Is this the gate to heaven? Have I died?"
"Nope, this is just our, eh..., doorway back to Studland, where we came from. We call it the Interdimensional Highway."
"Advanced technology, superior form of transportation, military dominance. It seems the Royal Navy is no longer the colonizer here."




"Step on through guys! I can feel this thing sucking me dry! Hurry!"




"GG WP"
"I haven't the faintest idea what that means. What I do know is that this world will never be the same after your arrival on this day."
"Trust the adventure, commodore. Goodbye now."




"Goodbye."




Right after the Studland hero steps through the portal, it closes behind him, leaving Commodore Hexaquad alone on the hot sandy beach.




Final Overview

Arrrrrr...

I like pirates, this was interesting.

Fun: 15 Lots of action, lots of swashbuckling finesse and critfails, plus one critsuccess that made even a minifigure get introspective...

Violence: 7 Lots of violence, but not as much as the other entries.

Photos: 7 Would have been higher with more immersion. Battlefield wasn't very big, lots of not-Lego in shots. Could have done with a few more pics of some events, but the photos that were there were good.

Writing: 8 This was fairly easy to understand, made a lot of sense.

Story: 8 Plot made sense, made full use of the Interdimensional Highway idea, fun characters, interesting action and some surprisingly introspective reactions from some characters... also apparently Commodore Hexabrick (I see what you did there) is the only one who can hold that gold cutlass without getting killed??

Lovely Battle!

Fun - 18
The classic, silly, Brikwars vibe

Violence - 9
Was not drawn out, but the right scale for the size of the battle

Photography - 9
I quite liked the design of the battlefield, and the photos did a great job of showing it off

Writing - 8
Comprehensible

Story - 9
I rather liked the set-up soaps

Fun: 18
Pirates vs Imperial Royal Guards vs Studlanders? What's not to love?

Vio-lence: 8
Lots of death and dismemberment. Good blood effects and explosions/shots. Could have used more red trans pieces for blood puddles, though.

Photography: 9
Crisp, clear, and clean. Very easy to see what's going on and to follow the action. The overwatches really help for me to follow along.

Writing: 9
I dig your style, man.

Story: 9
You worked in the Interdimensional Highway theme and took it to a fun place with a great reason for a battle. Good characters make for good storytelling.